Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Real Men/Women of Genius #85

Expand Messages
  • The Troubadour
    Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we salute you, Mr. Shorts-and-Singlet Wearer No Matter What The Weather Is Like
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 18, 2011
      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Shorts-and-Singlet Wearer No Matter What The
      Weather Is Like For Your Race.

      {Mis-ter "jac-kets-hats-mitttt-tens-and-tights are toooooooooo

      All we have to do to feel warm inside is just take a quick gawk at you.
      It's wintertime, the days are shortened, gale-force winds are howling,
      there's snow and ice all throughout the woods and all over these trails, and
      you are scampering half-naked through the snowdrifts. And no, your
      girlfriend is *not* impressed.

      {"It's wonnnnn-der-fullllll-ly freeeeeeee-ing!"}

      It's Five Degrees Above Zero Fahrenheit! And that's just the ambient
      temperature. Factor-in the "wind chill" and you are now running in colder
      conditions than the deep-freeze inside our garage.

      {"Butttttttt I have nevvvvvvv-ver raced in an-y-thing BUT shorts!"}

      We don't even stick our bare hands in there to grab tonight's package of
      Birds-Eye Peas. We keep an extra coat on a hook for just that purpose. The
      freezer is where next Thanksgiving's turkey is. Maybe we should amend that.
      YOU are very likely to be next Thanksgiving's turkey.

      {"I'll b-b-b-beeeee warmmmmmmmmmm e-nough if I juh-juh-juh-just keeeeeeep

      We hope, for example, that you're not overheated. We realize that the
      Summer Games generally take place during the summer, and if you're going to
      win, say, the Olympic marathon, you're not going to want to be overburdened
      with extra clothing. But for that you might consider practicing on the
      streets of Miami, rather than during a blizzard in the woods of Northern

      {"I o-o-o-on-ly havvvvvvve th-th-th-thir-tyyyyy more miles to runnnnnnn!"}

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light--after you thaw it first--O Mr.
      Trying-To-Keep-Cool Speed Racer, because we are all completely blown away by
      your focus on minimalism and unrestricted turnover, as well as your
      frostbite. Deep down, we know that you think that you *believe* you're
      speedy--and that this is the only way to run--so we'll resist calling for an
      ambulance on our cell phones. All bets are off, though, when we pass the
      30K point and find you stiff and "on ice" and lying blue by the
      trailside--at which time we *might* be Good Samaritan enough to lend you a
      frozen water bottle in an attempt to warm you up, and a spare pair of gloves
      to handle it with.

      {Missssss-ter Shorts-aaaaand-Sing-let Wear-errrrrr No Mat-ter

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your 800-year-old suddenly-liberated lute plucker from minimalist France"
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      But now we wonder: if you're living on the West Coast, how shorts and
      singlet might fare in nuclear fallout?
    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.