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Real Men/Women of Genius #84

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  • The Troubadour
    [I just now thought of this, which should be dedicated (uh-huh) to, well, he *knows* who he is! ;-)] Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 11, 2011
      [I just now thought of this, which should be "dedicated" (uh-huh) to, well,
      he *knows* who he is! ;-)]

      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Race Official and Weather Forecaster Who Casually
      Mentions "Some Chance of Rain" for Raceday.

      {Mis-ter "commmmmme fro-lic

      "A slight chance of thundershowers"? "What's a few sprinkles among
      friends"? And "it'll be so much fun"? Are you kidding? When we show up
      for your race, wearing only shorts and a plastic garbage bag, and then just
      ten miles into it we get, like, today's Japan!--we *know* damn well you're
      NOT a weatherman.

      {"It'sssssssssss prob-bab-blyyyyy just a pas-sing cloud-burst!"}

      "Thundershowers"? Try: Tsunami! Because there is now more hard falling
      water driving itself out of the sky and onto your swamp and into our misery
      than has EVER been reported on CNN before! The temperature has dropped and
      the monsoon is ripping the entire jungle apart and we are all just freezing
      to shivery death!

      {"The aid sta-tions allllllll have Tup-per-ware to keeeeeep your po-ta-to
      chips crisp!"}

      You probably have this race confused with your last family vacation to some
      Caribbean wading pool and water park. Sprinklers? Does your giddily
      gleeful family simply delight in scampering under hoses in 85 degrees in the
      midday lush paradise? Wellllll, get a load of this!

      {"It'sssssss not tooooooooooooooo bad, izzzz-zit?"}

      The entire National Guard has been called out to fill sand bags to try and
      keep the county from being washed out to sea. So. Now. We're guessing the
      Good Lord WASN'T willing and the creek DID rise, eh? To a depth, say, of
      about 8 feet above flood stage?

      {"Maaaaaay-beee a few sand bags will al-so save the po-taaaaa-to chips?"}

      Even the Navy has been called in. Entire fleets of warships are now banging
      into one another atop those very creeks your race has us crossing several
      times per loop. Did you think we could continue having fun and playing in
      the mud when most of Planet Earth is underwater?


      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Mr. Al Roker of Today's Show of
      overly optimistic hype, but please wait until *after* the National Forest
      Service officially shuts down your race for the umpteenth time due to
      weather, to save your runners from drowning--or worse, being coated with
      leftover oil from the BP spill--and to force everyone still stuck out on the
      trails to evacuate because, as you have told us yourself, this race takes
      place in a "dry" county; so beer of any kind, whether ice cold or lukewarm,
      is completely illegal. But apparently homicide by raindrops is not.

      {Missssss-ter Raaaace Off-fi-cial and Wea-therrrrr Fore-cas-ter
      Who-Cas-u-al-ly-Men-tions-Sommmmmme Chance of Rain for Race-day!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your 800-year-old running-and-often-swimming lute plucker from France"
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      You mean that tsunami from Japan is now actually slamming California? Even
      worse than Proposition 8?
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