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Real Men/Women of Genius #83

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  • The Troubadour
    Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!} Today we propose our toast to you, Miss Never-Having-Run-an-Ultramarathon
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 25 11:43 AM
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      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

      {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we propose our toast to you, Miss Never-Having-Run-an-Ultramarathon
      and yet Somehow-Able-to-Give-All-Advice About It.

      {Missss allll-wise and allll-knowww-ing allll-most exxx-pert on allll-most
      ev-er-y-thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!}

      You give new meaning to the old saying "truth from the mouths of babes."
      And we all generally do appreciate your mouth, too, but maybe more for how
      it looks than for what comes out of it.

      {"I onnn-ly ap-ply my moiiiiiiiiist-ur-rise-zing balmmms an' gelllllls an'
      lip-stick AFFFFF-TER the race I hav-en't run yet!"}

      What to wear? Shoes? Sleeves? Skirts versus shorts? You know and you
      tell us. How to avoid injury? You tell us that, too. How much to train?
      Where? When? Also how and what to eat? Drink? How to stay hydrated and
      safe from mountain lions, grizzly bears, and The East Side Disciples?
      You've got it all figured out and will now happily reveal your findings to
      the rest of the planet via all the listservs you belong to--all spontaneous,
      unsolicited, and without charge.

      {But how doooooooo we cure plannnnn-tar fas-ci-i-tis, a-chil-les
      ten-don-i-tis, and food-poi-son-ing from allllll the bad Kool-Aiiiiid?}

      Why, you're practically the ultrarunning equivalent of Mother Theresa.

      {What dooo you rec-ohmmm-mend are thee best trails for run-ning in
      Cal-cut-taaaa?}

      Internet sources to back you up? Sure. You happily supply the links for
      all manner of "Times-Picayune" articles, "YouTube" videos, product
      descriptions accompanying stuff sold by internet sporting goods stores, and
      everything and anything you've ever found on that mega-marketing website
      dedicated to the exploits of one Dean Karnazes, the idol of millions--or at
      least of you.

      {"Are youuuuuuuu watch-kah-ching kah-ching him on 'Live with Reeeee-gis and
      Kelllll-ly'?"}

      So pop that cork quickly out of your perfectly-chilled bottle of White
      Zinfandel, O Miss Brittan Ickkah, Encyclopedic Font of All Knowledge,
      because really and truly you are now single-handedly proving what we've all
      long suspected: that before you can possibly know what's not enough, you
      first have to know nothing.

      {Misssssssss Nev-v-v-v-ver-Hav-ing-Run-an-Ul-tra-mar-a-thonnnnnn and yet
      Sommme-how-A-ble-to-Give-Allllllll-Ad-vice Aaaa-bout It!}

      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather
      guzzle beer.



      ( O_O )



      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      TheTroubadour@...
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      And to think I have medical doctors like this. I should save all my co-pay
      dollars and consult with Miss Encyclopedia instead. Both hers and my
      doctors' advice is of equal value. They tell me to stop running; she tells
      me how to run stuff never experienced before.
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