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Real Men/Women of Genius #82

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  • The Troubadour
    Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Barefoot SHOES for the Barefoot Runner Inventor. {Mis-ter
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 18, 2011
      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Barefoot SHOES for the Barefoot Runner Inventor.

      {Mis-ter innnn-ven-tor of reeeeeeeeal-ly ma-gi-cal and oth-er
      immmmmm-pos-si-ble stuff!}

      Truly, this is an epic event of recordable creative history that's every bit
      as equal in importance to the re-invention of the wheel. Just imagine
      actually succeeding in marketing something of substance--of rubber and
      plastic and leather and who-knows-what-the-hell else--that works just like a
      SHOE while allowing the "barefoot" runner to actually believe he's still
      running barefoot.

      {"Jusssssst looooooook at my braaaaand-new gray rub-ber skinnnnnnnnn!"}

      It's genius for sure. You cover "bareness" with "some mess" and the wearer
      of the contraption thinks of it as nothing. Why, just imagine the
      possibilities of THIS concept! Strippers could be bare while still being
      clothed. Softball players could field bare-handedly while still wearing
      mitts. And embarrassed adolescents could wear swimsuits and still be naked
      while showering, thereby satisfying the hygienic requirements of their P.E.

      {"With theeeeeeeeeeeeeeese maaaaa-gic shoes

      And you have even provided bare-naked coverings for each individual bare
      toe. You've manufactured your bare-naked "feets" in sizes, too, and widths!
      Like as if the skin on anyone's foot just isn't good enough anymore and
      needs to be re-sized and re-fitted with all new rubber skin in order to
      allow that bare-naked foot to remain bare...and naked.

      {You probbbb-bab-ly ship your non-shoes in bare-naaaaaaaa-ked box-es

      The marketing brilliance here is absolutely stunning. "Selling ice cubes to
      Eskimos"? This is even better! This is like selling actual clothes to "The
      Emperor's New Clothes" while keeping the fairy tale intact. The Emperor
      could now really and truly be wearing magic clothes while still believing he
      really and truly isn't naked, and all the schoolchildren will still believe
      that he is!

      {Whaaaaaaaaat does *this* doooo for Ra-pun-zel and Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-dy

      So be sure to crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Hands--and Feet--Christian
      Andersen, at the end of a long creative day in your magic cobbler's shop,
      because, really, now that we can all be barefoot while still wearing shoes,
      the world next needs you to provide mules and pacers for runners to still
      race solo, and also to paint swimsuits once-a-year on bare supermodels'
      bodies and pretend to convince everyone that they're still wearing
      high-priced fashions.

      {Missssss-ter Baaaaaaare-foot
      SHOOOOOOES-for-the-Baaaaaaaare-foot-Runnnnnn-ner Innnnn-ven-torrrrrrrrrrr!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your 800-year-old running-unshod-unplugged-and-unclothed lute plucker from
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      What's the problem? Every time a TV commercial shows people in bed making
      love--or about to--they're all wearing swimsuits or underwear or magic
      sheets, right?
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