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Real Men/Women of Genius #81

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  • The Troubadour
    Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss OCD Worrywart that You WON T Be Ready
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 11, 2011
      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

      Today we raise our glass to you, Miss OCD Worrywart that You WON'T Be Ready
      for Your Upcoming Ultra After Having Been on a Rather Strenuous Three-Week

      {Missss just-reeeee-turned-from speeeeeed-hik-ing Southhhh-east Aaaaaa-sia!}

      You are afraid--aren't ya!--that you will *not* be prepared for your next
      footrace in a month-and-a-half, after having freshly returned from the
      trip-of-a-lifetime to Vietnam, during which--just so you *wouldn't* simply
      relax and lounge around the pool all day--you decided, in honor of your
      grandpa, to hike the entire Ho Chi Minh Trail.

      {Hoooooooooope-ful-lyyyyyyyyyyyyyy all the A-gent Orange is

      And now you're begging for "help." You're soliciting sudden inspiration and
      immediate encouragement, not to mention updated / super-pressured training
      regimens that'll help "get you ready."

      {Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu should've jus' swummmmmm laps-in-the-pooool!!}

      So let's see if we have all this straight. You speedhike approximately one
      thousand miles of rough jungle terrain within the short time allotted for
      your vacation--averaging at least 50 kilometers a day, and with nightly
      windsprints and fartleks around the campgrounds, however you could squeeze
      them in. You existed on brown unshucked rice, meager beans, and
      still-podded peas--losing quite a few pounds in the process, leaning out
      like a goddess, increasing your speed and stamina like an Olympian--and
      *now* you're back home and suddenly worrying about how the hell you're going
      to survive one-tenth that distance on crushed limestone, no jungle, nothing
      poisonous, and with fully-stocked aid stations out the ying-yang.

      {"But-I-am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo UN-pree-pared for RUNNNN-INNNNNNG!"}

      You *have* to be kidding us, right?

      {"Maaaaaaaaaay-be I-can-run-back-to-back-50-mi-lers
      at-8-minnnn-ute-per-miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile pace!"}

      Well, yank that cork quickly out of your White Zinfandel bottle before
      someone else--better trained--steals it from you, O Keeper of Pace Charts
      and Obsessive Clocker of Race Times, because, really, if you're
      thinking--just because you haven't *run* very much--that THAT will severely
      hamper your performance in a few weeks? Give it up now! Surrender your
      top-five finish to somebunny else and just keep drinking. You're "a
      hopeless disappointment" to the rest of us, who somehow survive such
      ultramarathons without hardly running at all.

      {Misssssssss O-C-D-Worrrrrrrr-ry-wart that-You-WON'T-Beeeeeee Readddddd-y
      for Yourrrrrrr Up-commmm-ming Ulllll-tra Af-ter Hav-ing Beennnn on-a-Rath-er
      Stren-uuuuuuuu-ous Three-Weeeeeek Vaaaa-caaaa-tion!}

      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather
      guzzle beer.

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      We even think tramping through 2-foot snowdrifts is good speed training.
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