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Real Men/Women of Genius #79

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  • The Troubadour
    [Today we are indebted to our friend Toni Aurilio for suggesting the subject matter. Personally I (and perhaps many of you) have witnessed this very thing in
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 28, 2011
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      [Today we are indebted to our friend Toni Aurilio for suggesting the subject
      matter. Personally I (and perhaps many of you) have witnessed this very
      thing in the past along various wooded trails--and in big city alleyways
      during marathons--but never gave it much thought because men do it all the

      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

      Today we propose a toast to you, Miss Let-It-All-Hang-Outer and
      Generally-Standing-Pee-er Just One Foot Away from Every Other Runner on the


      You get a kick out of it, don't you? Stepping quickly off to the side, but
      without actually stepping more than 18 inches off to the side, turning your
      sweet cheeks towards the line behind you, and just shoving your shorts'
      crotch cloth aside and lettin' it *fly*--whether those shorts even have one
      or not.

      {"I hooooooooooope my week-lyyy tan-ning-bed sesssss-sions have e-rased all
      the tan lines!"}

      Skirts are easier, we know. Also those semi-fashionable new threads called
      "skorts." Compression bike attire could delay you a tad, but you're not
      worried about that. Your whole purpose here with such minimal--but
      necessary--time wasting is to give us a show.

      {"I've au-diiiiiiiiiiiii-tioned in Ve-gas

      But we're curious. If there's snow on the ground, do you try to write your
      name? If there's some puddle, do you wish to change its color? If you
      happen to know there's more males following you than females, do you think
      they really would like it better if you're standing or squatting? And what,
      really, IS your very best angle for achieving your very best trajectory?

      {"Butt I waaaaaaaas-n't read-yyyyyyy for au-diiiiiiiiiii-tion-ing with
      Wic-ked Pic-tures!!"}


      {Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee shuddddddd-ddddddder to e-ven guess!}

      So pull your hand--oops, we mean cork--quickly out from your White--or
      possibly amber--Zinfandel currently stashed inside your backpack at the
      finish line when you get there, O Grown-up Honeychild Who First Learned
      about Peeing in the Pool, and be sure to offer swigs to the
      four-hundred-and-at-least-fifty young men now--STILL--lined up behind you.
      But may we suggest offering them the bottle...by using only your cold right

      {Missssssss Let-It-Allllllll-Hang-Out-er and Gen-er-al-ly-Stand-ing-Pee-er
      Jussss' One-Foot-A-way-from Ev-'ryyyyy Oth-errr Run-nerrr on-the-Path!}

      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather
      guzzle beer.

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      You think we're kidding? Log onto this and be en-lightened (by several
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