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Real Men/Women of Genius #78

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  • The Troubadour
    Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we d like to raise our glass to you, Ms. Electronic Metronome
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 21 11:54 AM
      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      {Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

      Today we'd like to raise our glass to you, Ms. Electronic Metronome
      Carrier--on your HEAD, underneath your STOCKING CAP--Who's Supposedly Just
      Trying To Improve Your Running Pace.

      {Mizzzz oh-my-gaud-wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrre didd-ja getttttt that THINGGGGGGG?}

      There is just something so "wrong" about running up from behind some body,
      ticking LOUDLY and wanting to pass. You *could* be thought of as a
      terrorist. You *could* be called 9-1-1 on. You *do* sound like a

      {"Butttttttttttttt this doesssss help-meee-to-run-betttt-terrrrrrrr!"}

      Seventy-two virgins await you in Valhalla? Is THAT what they teach you at
      al-Qaeda training camp? But, but...what if YOU are the virgin? Does Osama
      Hoozits School teach what women all get rewarded with? If your metronome
      really is a bomb, do you take out the nearest men right along with you--and
      then receive in heaven whatever male pieces you can scavenge later that are
      still appended?

      {Thisssssssssssssssss prob-babb-bly has noth-ing-to-doooooo-with-it!}

      Of course we're kidding, but still we can't help wondering: When *did* all
      the sporting goods stores start selling music paraphernalia for
      piano-playing? And if 160-beats-per-minute is your target footplant rate,
      what happens when, say, your heart skips a beat?

      {"I left itttttttttttttttttttt...in San-Fran-sissss-co, high u-pon a

      Does that thing work like a "pacemaker" and send a sharp zapping pulse deep
      into your chest? Will you be able to recover your pace if you dial-down the
      metronome for, like--how about the next 50 years? Would that be OK?
      Please?? Maybe for that length of time you could just shut the stupid,
      insanely LOUD and dubious device OFF? So the rest of us running here can
      actually think--and NOT be all driven completely crazy in the meantime?

      {"Weeee might-as-well-be-runnnn-ing-on-a-tread-mill innnnn-side a
      grand-fath-er's clock fac-tor-ryyyyyy!"}

      So pull your cork out quickly from that White Zinfandel in your fridge when
      you get home, O Running Personification of Our First Piano Teacher, because
      really...we think you really, REEEEEALLY and truly do: "march to the beat
      of a different drummer."

      C-KING-CAP--Who's Sup-pose-ed-lyyyyy Jus' Try-ying To Immm-prove Your
      Runnnn-ning Pace!!}

      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather
      guzzle beer.

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/)

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      You think we're joking. But really, isn't this just "one step up" from (or
      "beyond") running with those stupid pacesetter watches that you can program
      to "beep" every so often to, say, remind you to drink, or walk, or pick up
      the pace, or pick your nose, or pee?
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