THE MOST INTERESTING MAN/WOMAN IN THE WORLD (issue 24)
- [What a wonderfully Positive Wednesday, huh? We've got worldwide attention
being paid to that amazing rescue of a whole crew of Chilean miners, while
comparatively fewer peeps pay much attention to another, kinda/sorta,
"miner" himself. He deals a LOT with the earth; he's an expert at holding
it back and keeping it in its place--so it doesn't collapse and destroy
stuff and kill people--and he has personally clawed his way over, under,
around, and through tons of it around a certain infamous park in Tennessee.
He's my not-so-old buddy Joe Kowalski; he's well deserving of being TMIMITW
today; here are his professional credentials
and here is, yes, a little movie that his very own son, Ben, once made of an
astonishing event that also took place in that park:
[The key to today's relevance about that movie is the ingenious discovery of
the soundtrack, a bluegrass tune that's oh-so-fitting today because: that
song is all about mining. Yes, Brushy Mountain Penitentiary (former home of
James Earl Ray) was at one time in the business of FORCING its prisoners to
be coal miners. To this very day, if you are unlucky enough to be selected
as a Barkley runner, you could fall down one of those old "holes" and, in
the marvelous words of its equally infamous race director, "you won't be
found until you start to smell."]
There's never been a better father on, under, inside, holding back, or
standing next to earth. Adult males around the planet daily inquire of him
just how he does it. He turns all his children into future Steven
Steven Spielberg himself once called him up and asked how he does it.
Boy Scout troops lead monthly pilgrimages to his office door, begging for
his wisdom and guidance. Girl Scouts every year just give him their
He has led expeditions into some of the wickedest woods in America and over
the tops of dozens of forbidding mountains a needless number of times, all
the while assuring his followers that they were not lost. Yet. And they
Once he led a small group of one to a place that didn't exist, that was
located on no map, and from which on one could ever return. That man is
happily still there, still believing, and posting this message via his cell
As far as fitness, his strength is capable of holding back half a collapsing
strip mine--allowing countless retaining wall builders to escape with their
lives--and his own speed and agility is proven every time he lets go.
In an awesome gesture of charity and compassion, he has donated enough lush
hairs off his very own head to carpet all the children's hospitals of Ohio.
He lives in "The Chili Capital of the World," but doesn't eat the stuff
himself. He prefers burnt raw chicken. But he's now sending other experts
from his company who are now helping other starving Chileans eat.
He is instead a gourmet of Chicago's culinary fare, but he's not talking
about the pizza. He likes the hot-dogs and karmel-korn.
And, incredibly enough, he is the very last stalwart Bears' fan that that
team still retains.
He is The Most Interesting Man in the World.
"I don't always retain; but when I do, I prefer to hold back the earth on
Earth. Stay grounded, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
["Just another minor 800-year-old French fried lute plucker"]
Yankee Folly of the Day:
Joe asked on Friday: "Rich, one question... actually the only relevant
question: 'Was she hot?'" Joseph, she was sooo dang hot that she's the
very reason for our planet's molten core.
The Shell Answer Man will now take an excessively long vacation before
answering any more silly questions.