THE MOST INTERESTING MAN/WOMAN IN THE WORLD (issue 18)
- [Happy Wednesday! Today is POSITIVE that it's Wednesday. And what did I do
all mourning? I ran track. And, sure, as slow as I move? It took *all*
mourning!! Notice the spelling. I move so slow, it's like a funeral.
But... I have a "track coach" that puts the FUN back in FUNERAL. And, as
she was lapping me just even during the warm-up, I threatened to pay her
homage today. Her name's Margaret "Peggy" Herr, and she's done a few
ultras--including the Ice Age 50-miler and one or more Chi-Town Lakefront
50-milers--but mostly she is known as "The Dog Whisperer." I myself have
watched, in total amazement, while she's hushed howling wolves. Anyone in
Chicagoland looking for a pet-sitter could do no better than to glom onto
[She walks rhinoceri and dachshunds with equal ease. She can whip your ass
on track and exercise your python during the cool-down. She's like "the
zookeeper of your dreams." Her life's priorities are: #1 animals, #2
husband, #3 make rich suffer. And on Positivity Wednesday she is, without a
doubt, The Most Interesting Woman In The World.]
When it comes to pawspeed, she can outrun cheetahs. Humans? She has more
footspeed in her sleep than most sprinters do in their shoes.
One time she ran--and won--five 5K's in a single day, jogging the fifty
miles cumulative between each finish and the next race's start.
She has no automobile because she does not need one. And she only has to
rotate her Adidas every 6,000 miles.
That comic book hero "The Flash" was modeled after her. She wears red
Spandex better than anyone else on the planet.
She started out in life as a horse-jumper. She could get show horses to
show more hang time than Air Jordan himself.
Once, when only by leaping across a raging river could anyone save the poor
stranded creature on the other side, SHE jumped over and saved the horse.
As "The Dog Whisperer," she finds out from the dog where all the bones are
buried. She has helped countless county sheriffs solve murder cases in just
As a "Track Dominatrix," she has clients on a waiting list 1600 meters long.
Grown men have been known to cry "Mommy" after just one lap.
She is so good with a bullwhip that flies have no chance. Teenagers, at
distances up to twenty-five feet, often ask her to pop their zits.
Anything faster than her on Earth needs to be registered with the Federal
She is The Most Interesting Woman in the World.
"I don't always hoof it; but when I do, I prefer mas Equus. Stay paws'd for
the cause, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
["That 800-year-old lute plucker from France"]
Yankee Folly of the Day:
And the very best reason why dogs are men's best friends is because women
are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too rough on them.