THE MOST INTERESTING WOMAN IN THE WORLD (issue 6)
- [OMG, I forgot! Of course, with my ark-building outdoors temporarily
suspended, the entire sky falling, and my basement completely underwater...
it is sometimes "a challenge" to remember on Wednesdays to be positive.
Plus, for the past 5 or so weeks, I've been having my own personal plumbing
roto-rootered by several sweet gal pals who are actually fairly pissed at my
"sexist" auto-copying of those Dos Equis radio commercials. So, sorry for
any incontinence this may have caused.
And, yes, this is late; it's sorta/kinda like "make-up" sex; and it does now
feature our first---and foremost, for sure---ultrarunning heroine. Her name
is Ann Trason, and THIS is Positively Wednesday!!!]
She once was challenged to a footrace by the entire U.S. Army, and finished
before they blew reveille.
In one year, she ran major ultramarathons on seven different continents
within the very same week, and beat all the men. Then, for a cool-down, she
swam the Pacific back home to California.
No human on this or any other planet has won more first-places at the
Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run than she has. A fund is now being
established to make metal molds of her footprints there, and to fill them
all within 24 hours with 24-carat gold.
She has collected course records like trading stamps. Once she even tried
to give a few to the fastest men, but they knew they were licked.
One summer, for a lark, she journeyed to the far south suburbs of Chicago
and forced herself into running something "short." It was a 10K sprint and
she finished before most of the rest of the people got out of their cars.
If ever she became injured, medical science would conduct a clinic on "How
To Heal." Generally, her malady would be cured before the afternoon session
began. So then she'd invite all the attendees to join her in a fun-run
around the United States.
She likes to raise gardens in her backyard, and tend them by hand. Her
backyard is the size of Canada, of course, but she still never fails to pull
every weed, prune every plant, and smoosh every bug.
And the crops she grew while running around the world, were later spread
around the world---by her very own self. To this day, all the descendants
of Pheidippides in Greece have survived, because she fed them.
On the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, she once was clocked at
three-hundred-and-thirty-five miles... for several hours before the guy with
the clock even showed up.
She actually raced Horton to Mars several years ago, and beat him---thereby
giving her own "clinic" to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration
as to just how to model their solid-fuel rocket.
She is The Most Interesting Woman in the World.
"I don't always beat everyone else in the race; but when I do, I prefer it
to happen on a planet with air. Stay grounded, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
The TroubleDoer at sbcglobal-dot-net
["Your 800-year-old lute plucker from France"]
Yankee Folly of the Day:
Somebody please tell Carl Andersen I'm already married! :-)