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Real Men/Women of Genius #46

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  • The Troubadour
    Bud Light presents... REAL MEN OF GENIUS {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we salute you, Mr. Emailing-on-the-Sly While You re at Work Guy. {Mis-ter Don t
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 2, 2010
      Bud Light presents...


      {Real men of geeeeeene-yuss}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Emailing-on-the-Sly While You're at Work Guy.

      {Mis-ter "Don't Call Me In-to the Meet-ing Right Now; I'm On-Line!"}

      Never mind the fact that the struggling firm of Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe pays
      you several hundred dollars per hour to analyze the markets, improve their
      cash flow, and keep the whole enterprise afloat; you, right now, have a much
      more important job to do: You need to "comment" on some other dufus's
      listserv post.

      {"OMG yura idi-yut; IMHO yer POV is point-less & don't evin bah-long on dys

      Sharing your wisdom? Surely. Doing it IMMEDIATELY while at work? Of
      course! This day will never make it to five o'clock unless and until you
      stop everything, put down what you're doing---what the company is paying you
      for---and globally point out the cyberspacific error of some dweeb
      poster-boy's way.

      {"Thaaaat's not the way I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I do myyyyyy long runs!"}

      And yet, each and every transmission you emit from your cubicle's station on
      the company network automatically proclaims to the world: "This transmittal
      is intended for the addressee only, and the information, including
      attachments, may contain confidential or, like, way-privileged jive and so
      if your ass ain't the 'addressee' then your ass needs to dump this, log-off,
      and report back. Or else!"

      {"Its un-au-thor-iiiii-zed use and dis-clooo-sure is pro-hiiiiiiib-i-ted!"}

      Or else---everyone across cyberspace will be chucklingly ROTFLMAO and
      imagining what might just happen to you if, indeed, they ignore your
      automatic corporate signature's warning and proceed to oh-so-innocently
      transmit whatever you say to either that "Contact Us" link on your company's
      website, or else whatever other company they can find that could be your
      firm's competition.

      {Does your "Team Lead" even know what you DOOOO all day?}

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light after work, Oh Sleuth of the Airwaves on
      Company Time, because actually your boss, and his/her boss, and all the
      principals of the conglomerate as well as the full Board of Directors
      already know what your "handle" is, what your hobbies are, what listservs
      you subscribe to, and just how many hours of *their* day you already waste
      on porn sites.

      {Mis-ter Eeee-mail-linnng-on-the-Sly Whiiiiiiiile You'rrrre@...!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where it's made; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      Of course, the ONLY reason why you're not fired for this is because your
      boss, and his/her boss, and all the damn corporate principals themselves are
      surfing all over the Internet, too.
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