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Real Men/Women of Genius #35

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  • The Troubadour
    Ingelhook Wineries present... REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss} Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Northern Climes Happy-New-Year Athletic
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 1, 2010
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      Ingelhook Wineries present...


      REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

      {Real gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

      Today we raise our glass to you, Miss Northern Climes Happy-New-Year
      Athletic Event Bikini Wearer.

      {Miss "do yoooou think I should keep my m-m-mit-tens on?"}

      Is this Miami? Hawaii? San Diego? Not hardly. This is 12-degrees
      Fahrenheit and you are wearing your bathing suit.

      {"Bbbbbbbutt my fah-fah-fah-frieeends will k-e-e-e-p m-m-m-m-me-me-me
      warm!"}

      Stroke of midnight? That's the starting gun for the local First Race of The
      New Year 5K. You and all your running-tights-wearing, stocking-capped,
      parka'd, gloved, ear-muffed, totally covered in Gore-Tex little group of
      incredibly-growing friends are there in the park with ALL eyes on YOU.
      Especially now after you've removed your warm-up sweats and are pretending
      not to freeze.

      {"Weeeeee duh-duh-duh-d-d-d-dooooooooooooo this ev'ry year!"}

      Maybe you belong to the Polar Bear Club? Or, that "other" one we now learn
      has just formed in Chicago, chIlly-noise. So, there's not one, but TWO
      group swims scheduled for this very morning on North Avenue Beach. And,
      sure, the public is also invited for this annual gleeful half-naked frolic
      IN the warm and balmy waters of beautiful Lake Michigan.

      {YOOOOOOOOOOU have-to-be-K-K-KID-DING YOU!}

      Do you worry that maybe your tan lines are showing? Don't. Most weekday
      editions of the next-day's papers are still printed in black and white. So
      unless your particular butt merits front-page exposure in the Sunday
      Sun-Times, you probably shouldn't worry too much if what you wore all summer
      for those triathlons was a one-piece tank, which today is likely to leave
      vast areas of white space along the most awe-inspiring parts of your body.

      {"M-m-m-may-beee I'll wuh-wuh-wuh--win a m-m-m-m-mod-el-ing
      c-c-c-c-c-c-con-tract?"}

      So pop the cork quickly out of your thoroughly-chilled bottle of White
      Zinfandel, O Miss Pamela Anderson wannabe, because your own XXX-Mas present
      to yourself LAST year was a couple of strategically-placed "surgical
      enhancements," and they certainly do seem to have some totally undeniable
      but *bare*ly understandable NEED to be put on public display on this, the
      coldest day of the year.

      {Miss Northern C-C-Climes Hap-py-py-py-New-Year Ath-let-ick E-vent Bi-ki-ni
      Wear-er!}


      White Zinfandel yuppie wine: we don't drink it ourselves; we'd rather
      guzzle beer.



      ( O_O )




      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      TheTroubadour@...

      Yankee Folly of the Day:
      This isn't all that easy to do early in the morning on a hangover...
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