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2552Re: [hr100] Real Men/Women of Genius #92

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  • Jean-Jacques d
    May 29, 2011
      Kudos to the Lute-plucker and many cheers for Charlie!
      In the spirit of the posting's subject, Charlie recommends a funny book titled: "Eats, Shoots & Leaves".

      --- On Fri, 5/27/11, The Troubadour <thetroubadour@...> wrote:

      From: The Troubadour <thetroubadour@...>
      Subject: [hr100] Real Men/Women of Genius #92
      To: "Ultra List" <ULTRA@...>
      Cc: volstate@..., "Barkley List" <barkley@...>, hr100@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Friday, May 27, 2011, 12:29 PM


      Bud Light presents...


      {Re-al men of geeeeeene-yuss!}

      Today we salute you, Mr. Brandnew English Grammar Creator and Thuslike
      Hurryuper to Listserv Commentate.

      {Surrrrrrrrre you cannnnnnnnnnnnn ig-nore theeeeeeeeeeee spell-check!}

      "I've did," you write. "I've now have ran that race to." "I was their
      before they got there permit to run they're." Ahem. These are expressions
      you've found in the dictionary? In your old grade school Dick & Jane
      workbooks? Scrawled by poets on napkins in roadside diners?

      {Weee wannnnnn-na seeee YOUR reee-port carrrrrrd!}

      We need to know your sources of inspiration here, because surely this
      grammar is way too complex to be solely concocted by yourself alone.
      Dependent clause constructs like "if you have did signed up by yesterdays
      June Oneths deadline" positively just take our rhetorical breath away.

      {May-beeeeeeeeeeee we're beeee-ing too harrrrrrrd on PhDsssssssssss?}

      You are now writing in the, what, subjunkdive pluimperfect grannano tense?

      {"I fouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuund it in my phon-nics book!"}

      Did you walk to school or carry your lunch? What *is* the sound of one jaw
      yapping? And did you ever once in your life understand those tricky
      semantic and orthographic distinctions between and among: "to," "too," and
      "two"; "its" and "it's"; "farther" and "further"; "ad" and "add"; "woman"
      and "women" and "woman's" and "women's"; "which" and "that" and "because"
      and "since"; "they" and "there" and "they'll" and "there'll"; and this
      all-new classic "I'd love some" versus "love me some"? Puh-leeeease. Next
      you'll be petitioning the Modern Language Association for loose-leaf
      American Literature texts.

      {"Lettttttttttt's all speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak Spannnnn-nish in-stead!"}

      Now here is one of your all-time classic comments on a nutrition thread:
      "To keep your head from turning brown, it should be shedded and place inside
      a plastic bag to sit in the fridge. You can always ad nutrients later with

      {Be surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre to poke holes in the bag soooo
      yooooooooooooou CAN breeeeeeeathe!}

      So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O William F. Buckley, Junior,
      and-virgule-or Mister William Safire--both underpaid Bills--since really
      your very best work largely goes unnoticed. But we've did it. We done
      noticed. This, your following sentence, should be bronzed and enshrined in
      The My Tired Old Grammar's Hall of Fame: "I'm plan to moving their in
      couple weaks and would love me some well trails too run on at them they're
      beside there annihile billyboobed stump jumping swamp rabbitt jive stompish
      ugly mugly 50 kilos momator thang."

      {Misssss-ter Braaaaaaand-new Eng-gleesh Grammm-mar Cre-a-tor and Thus-like
      Hur-ry-up-per to List-serv Commmmmm-men-taaaate!}

      Bud Light beer: we don't care where they brew it; we just dig their

      ( O_O )

      Yours troubly,

      Rich Limacher
      "your ancient fiendly French lute-plucking--though English
      teaching--song-and-dance-man who first learned about language butchery in
      Chicago's inner-city."
      (now on tab at http://www.runrace.net/).

      Book Review:

      Better Resource:

      Best Yankee Non-Folly of The Day:
      Happy Birthday to "A Real American Hero": Charlie Thorn!

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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