2335THE MOST INTERESTING MAN/WOMAN IN THE WORLD (issue 22)
- Sep 29, 2010[Here it is Positivity Wednesday and I've not saluted my "commanding
officer" yet. Yes, in light of recent events [like, dig:
; http://www.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123116302] how could we not dedicate
this late-in-the-day-I-admit Wednesday to my old pal, and a true friend to
us all: "Luey Kernel Doom." He does have a real name, of course, and it's
Lt. Col. Fred Dummar, and he's some kinda Green Beret hotshot with office
and rank and you and I are real damn glad he's on OUR SIDE!! [And Capt.
Ivan Castro is no doubt also glad he's on his!] Anyway, today's hero is not
only "the most interesting," he's also about "the tallest man in the
world"--certainly in the world of ultrarunning. Here. Check out what the
stud looks like...
...and, ladies? Keep yer hands off, 'cuz he already belongs to "the ever
lovely Mrs. Doom," who is also an ultrarunner...
...and here you can read all about what the dude does for a living:
It's been said that he is the real-life John "Duke" Wayne--since both enjoy
4-letter nicknames that start with "D"--except that "Duke" could only
command Special Forces in Tinseltown, while "Doom" directs the real thing in
what he calls "The Hindu Kush."
And by the way, Afghanistan would already be lost except for the fact that
HE has been put in charge there, thereby having already saved the
reputations of two U.S. Presidents, several commanding generals, and the
very lives of just about every soldier sent there by the United Nations.
In his spare time, he runs a hundred miles. Sometimes during heavy
bombardments, he'll run them entirely inside his own M1 Tank.
He stands 6-foot-10 in his Vibram FiveFingers. In ancient battle, he'd be
known as Goliath. In today's Army, he is known as "sir, yes sir!"
Once--without anything being in it for him--he volunteered to look up a
female Army reservist in some other part of the war zone who happened to
come from Chi-Town and belong to some troubadour's local running club. He
found her, she was awestruck, and has looked up to him ever since. That
troubadour, however, she could still give a rip less about.
When he's stateside, if ever there was a soldier qualified to brag at Ft.
Bragg, it would be him; but mostly he just runs or inspires, whichever comes
He has led blind runners to finish lines, electrolyte-depleted runners back
into fluid motion, and totally dead runners back to life.
Around his Army base, he is known as "Sweet Cheeses, the Risen Crust."
He is faster than a speeding convoy, more powerful than the cook in the mess
hall, and is able to leap rhetorical gaps of logic in a single well-formed
But so far, he has somehow exhibited the incomprehensible wisdom necessary
to avoid The Barkley.
He is The Most Interesting Man in the World.
"I don't always bump my head when I run; but when I do, forests are felled.
Stay tall, my friends."
( 00 )
See (and hear) some originals:
["That 800-year-old lute plucker from France"]
Yankee Folly of the Day:
If ever there was a more optimistic man with a nickname like "Doom," we have
yet to meet him. We also know a "Lazarus"--and so does Doom--but whereas
Doom succeeds in resurrecting runners, Lazarus is only capable of sending
them (on loop 2 or 3 or 5) to their deaths, which is why he plays "Taps" so
well on his bugle.