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Dec. 27

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  • russophile2002
    +PAX Prayers, please, for the health of Barbara s brother-in-law and for his wife and family. God s will is best. All is mercy and grace. Thanks so much. JL
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 27, 2003
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      +PAX

      Prayers, please, for the health of Barbara's brother-in-law and for
      his wife and family. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace.
      Thanks so much. JL

      April 27, August 27, December 27
      Chapter 69: That the Monks Presume Not to Defend One Another

      Care must be taken that no monk presume on any ground
      to defend another monk in the monastery,
      or as it were to take him under his protection,
      even though they be united by some tie of blood-relationship.
      Let not the monks dare to do this in any way whatsoever,
      because it may give rise to most serious scandals.
      But if anyone breaks this rule,
      let him be severely punished.

      REFLECTION

      We are all supposed to bear one another's burdens. That should be
      more than enough help for anyone, if we actually keep that principle.

      A big problem with becoming the protector of another, self-appointed
      or otherwise, is that it destroys one's peace needlessly. When I was
      a novice, there was one other novice I really did not want to lose.
      He was not the brightest bulb on the tree and I went out of my way to
      protect him from himself. In time, he came to resent this and I was
      so busy worrying about covering or preventing his foibles all the
      time that I spent little time focusing on my own novitiate. Of
      course, he left. He was supposed to leave. I, however, could not see
      that at the time.

      This isn't just about monasteries, it's about any human group. Taking
      someone under our wing can result in all sorts of false assumptions.
      It can fool us into thinking we can really control events more than
      we can. It can lead us, a la Mother Hen, to seek to control the one
      under wing in very unnecessary and unhealthy ways. Its most common
      error is also one of its most dangerous ones: it leads us to think in
      terms of "us-and-them." There is no "them" in a healthy monastery or
      family or Christian community, only an "us".

      As usual, what the Holy Rule insists we avoid is an extreme. This
      chapter is NOT saying we should not look out for one another, just
      that no one should presume that the job is hers alone. Good families
      protect all their members, but it is a corporate activity, something
      in which all participate. Destroy that balance and the others will
      notice quickly. It upsets the inner peace, both of the individual and
      the group.

      Part of any monastic's struggle, in cloister or in the world, is the
      painful facing up to ourselves, that confrontation with our own
      flaws. This difficult self-knowledge is essential to the monastic
      way. Trying to protect someone from this process is counter to the
      very reason they came. It not only harms them, it harms us, by
      keeping us so busy with another's affairs that we can avoid looking
      within at our own failings.

      Merton once told his junior monk students that there is an
      existential place of loneliness in every monk that no one can touch,
      and that this is the way it's supposed to be, that no one should try
      to reach it. That's where the struggle goes on, that's where there is
      only God and the self. That's the arena in which the action happens.

      Every person, every employee, every spouse and child has a similar
      place: it is the place of potential learning and growth. Our deep
      respect for one another must stand away from that space. Becoming
      self-appointed guardians of another violates that space.

      Love and prayers,
      Jerome, OSB
      http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
      jeromeleo@...
      Petersham, MA
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