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Holy Rule for Dec. 26

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  • Br. Jerome Leo
    +PAX Prayers for William, intestinal mass and treatment not yet decided on. Prayers for Rev. Victoria and her Church. Her Church was burglarized badly just
    Message 1 of 59 , Dec 25, 2012

      Prayers for William, intestinal mass and treatment not yet decided on.

      Prayers for Rev. Victoria and her Church. Her Church was burglarized badly just before Christmas.

      Prayers for the eternal rest of Oh Jang Kyun, who died after being in a coma for a month folwing a car accident. None of the family has any religious faith, apparently neither did Oh Jang.

      Why not this year make a new tradition: pray for your "Christmas list", that is
      all people with whom you exchanged Christmas greetings, all through
      Christmastide. It is a warm and loving custom.

      Prayers, please, for all who have lost someone dear over the holidays. It
      can be so awful for them and then the pain can recur year after year. Prayers,
      too, for all those addicts for whom this season of feasting in food and drink
      can be a particularly trying time of temptation. May God bless and strengthen
      them all. Lord, help us all as You know and will. God's will is best. All
      is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

      April 26, August 26, December 26
      Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things

      If it happens
      that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister,
      let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority
      with all meekness and obedience.
      But if she sees that the weight of the burden
      altogether exceeds the limit of her strength,
      let her submit the reasons for her inability
      to the one who is over her
      in a quiet way and at an opportune time,
      without pride, resistance, or contradiction.
      And if after these representations
      the Superior still persists in her decision and command,
      let the subject know that this is for her good,
      and let her obey out of love,
      trusting in the help of God.


      Buried in chapters whose names may throw us off there are usually
      gems, one just has to dig a bit more carefully. Granted, impossible
      tasks are rarely asked of anyone these days, much less Oblates who
      live outside the monastery, but there is a beautiful method given
      here which has the widest of applications.

      Most interpersonal conflict arises from one being or feeling wronged.
      Escalation often follows when one tries to express their displeasure
      to the offender. Even people who are truly wrong do not enjoy being
      humiliated or treated as if they were nothing. Upset by another's
      actions, it is easy to lose one's cool. When both parties blow up, a
      relentless cycle of discord is born.

      The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece
      of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in

      "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride,
      resistance, or contradiction."

      We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the
      world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every
      complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer
      Service," but what's in a name?)

      Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect
      for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-
      violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with
      disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's
      non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the
      opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers
      pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results,
      not for a temporary subjugation.

      Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go
      to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even
      that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can
      consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel
      justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the
      first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is
      all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I
      got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen
      to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that
      small and worthless in public.

      Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about
      how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in
      the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending
      conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move. Sometimes prima donnas
      of either gender are filled with angry self-hatred.

      Watch people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any
      slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin. Sigh...
      Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital
      offense, everybody does it at one time or another. People who
      demonstrate anything else by their actions damage their own standing
      in the group as well, and rightly so.

      Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at
      dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a
      child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing
      to do with you." But it does, it really does. A community in choir
      after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of
      mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-
      benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so
      very likely to achieve results.

      Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!

      Love and prayers,
      Jerome, OSB
      Petersham, MA

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Br. Jerome Leo
      +PAX Happy and blessed Thanksgiving Day to all in the US who are celebrating today. God be thanked for His many blessings to us all. Prayers for all and
      Message 59 of 59 , Nov 23, 2016



        Happy and blessed Thanksgiving Day to all in the US who are celebrating today. God be thanked for His many blessings to us all. Prayers for all and especially for the safety of those travelling.


        Prayers for Cas, who has gastrointestinal cancer. Prayers, too, for Bev, his wife, and Gabrielle, their daughter. Bev is a classmate of mine from Tampa Catholic High.


        Prayers for Fr. Benedict Nivakoff, OSB, newly appointed Prior of the Benedictine community at Norcia, Italy, and continued prayers for them as they recover from the catastrophic damage the earthquake did to their monastery and basilica.


        Prayers for Christopher, 13, in hospice care at home with brain cancer and thought to be very close to death. Prayers for his family, too, and for all who will mourn him.


        Prayers for Daniel, had an injection for knee pain, knee reduced to bone on bone and will eventually need a replacement.


        Prayers for the eternal rest of Greg, and for all his family and all who mourn him.

        Prayers for the eternal rest of Stella, 92, a Benedictine Oblate, and prayers for her family and all who mourn her.


        Prayers for B., for her return to the Faith.


        Lord, help us all as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and
        grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

        March 25, July 25, November 24
        Chapter 45: On Those Who Make Mistakes in the Oratory

        When anyone has made a mistake
        while reciting a Psalm, a responsory,
        an antiphon or a lesson,
        if he does not humble himself there before all
        by making a satisfaction,
        let him undergo a greater punishment
        because he would not correct by humility
        what he did wrong through carelessness.

        But boys for such faults shall be whipped.


        Calm down, we don't whip anybody anymore. It has too often been my
        experience that such lines push all the buttons of some readers these
        days and blind them to the rest of the good stuff there. We don't
        whip now, they did 1,500 years ago, everyone else did, too. Let's not
        get so mired in the sensitivities of our own time that we forget how
        terribly recent some of them are.

        As I have mentioned before, in our house we do kneel in the center
        when late for choir, then bow to the superior and go to our
        place. We also kneel when we make audible mistakes in Church. And
        yes, those things, as I pointed out, can be very useful.

        But most Oblates do not have a choir to kneel in, so
        what's here for the majority of us? There is the grace of humility,
        without which communal life on any level, in monastery, workplace, market or
        home would be unlivable.

        Every single human community or whatever sort is going to have its
        share of kinks, strays and crosses. Every one without fail
        will mirror in some sense the fallen brokenness of humanity. The
        gamut of human flaws exists in microcosm, in at least some mitigated form,
        in every human group.

        Even more annoyingly, most, if not all, pieces of our OWN broken
        humanity will be modeled, much to our distaste, by others around us. It is,
        alas, our own sins and faults in others that tend to annoy us most. Never
        forget to check for that. He or she may REALLY tick you off because
        of the great similarities between you!

        Our job is to see to it that we are part of the solution, not part
        of the problem. When, through whatever means, we become part of the problem,
        we must own up to it at once and smooth it over as best and as
        quickly as we can.

        If you can't say "I'm sorry," for heaven's sake- quite literally- start
        practicing alone in front of a mirror until the words can somehow
        tumble out in public. Until they can, try some useful (though not
        perfect,) substitutes, like "Excuse me," or "It was my fault." Work
        on words of forgiveness, too, like: "It doesn't matter," or "Oh,
        that's OK,".

        Strive to make light of things. There will never be any
        shortage whatever of people who will explode and magnify things out
        of all rational proportion, so don't duplicate services! Join the
        minority and try to prevent hurricanes in teacups, rather than
        produce them.

        Most outrage, most lack of apology, most tempests in teacups stem
        from a distorted an unhealthy view of the self. Humility corrects
        that imbalance. While you're in front of the mirror practicing
        apology, why not try a bit of self-interview?

        WHY do these things or persons upset you so? What do you have in
        common with those who annoy you most? Most important, just who the
        heck ARE you that your perceived slights are such a big deal? Try
        reminding yourself that He is God and you are not. Honest reflection on these
        points may be a big and promising start.

        Love and prayers,
        Jerome, OSB
        Petersham, MA




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