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Apr 30

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  • russophile2002
    +PAX Prayers, please, for Jane, dealing with her own chemo and with residual effects of her son, Jason, having done drugs in the past. Prayers for strength,
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 30, 2003

      Prayers, please, for Jane, dealing with her own chemo and with
      residual effects of her son, Jason, having done drugs in the past.
      Prayers for strength, grace, trust and blanace for both! God's will
      be done! Thanks so much! NRN JL

      April 30, August 30, December 30
      Chapter 72: On the Good Zeal Which They Ought to Have

      Just as there is an evil zeal of bitterness
      which separates from God and leads to hell,
      so there is a good zeal
      which separates from vices and leads to God
      and to life everlasting.
      This zeal, therefore, the sisters should practice
      with the most fervent love.
      Thus they should anticipate one another in honor (Rom. 12:10);
      most patiently endure one another's infirmities,
      whether of body or of character;
      vie in paying obedience one to another --
      no one following what she considers useful for herself,
      but rather what benefits another;
      tender the charity of sisterhood chastely;
      fear God in love;
      love their Abbess with a sincere and humble charity;
      prefer nothing whatever to Christ.
      And may He bring us all together to life everlasting!


      This chapter, full of self-evident and beautiful prose should serve
      as a short rule of life, a summary of all that has gone before it.
      Live this one, and you're all right: the details from the other
      chapters will take care of themselves. Little wonder then that its
      principal points are love, obedience and humility, practiced in the
      chastity of wholeness. (Chastity, it must be recalled, is proper to
      every state in life. It is the well-ordered, balanced and whole use
      of sexuality.) Even less wonder that, to call Scripture in to witness
      here, "the greatest of these is love." Merton's one-line Holy Rule
      summary also applies: "Love is the Rule."

      The beauty here is so great that we often do not spend enough time
      looking at its converse: "the evil zeal of bitterness." What a great
      turn of phrase! Like many of us, St. Benedict seems to have known
      some whose bitterness turned into an energetic zeal, a way of life, a
      broken power line in a windy world that could strike others or
      themselves without warning.

      And "zeal" is precisely the word! People can put such frighteningly
      zealous levels of effort into self-loathing bitterness. It becomes a
      full-time job, one which requires so much energy that it's a marvel
      that they continue. Bitter anger, self-hatred, unforgiving ill-will
      towards all or most, these are viciously involuted cycles. They turn
      on the self, malignantly. They injure and alienate others to make
      one's twisted world view remain correct. They never rest, the fist is
      always clenched, the hand never open.

      Someone years ago wrote a book about suicide titled "The Savage God."
      The premise was that the illness which caused suicide was like some
      pagan deity that destroyed its adherents, an apt enough assessment.
      But evil zeal is a savage god, too. Unlike suicide which leads to
      death, this one insists on a long and horrible end in prison.

      I have known two monks with this dreadful problem, both now long
      dead. Thank heavens, they both persevered to the end and one hopes
      that was enough, because, frankly, little else could be said for
      them. They both guaranteed that their own lives were hell and pretty
      much ensured smaller doses of hell for the rest of us living with
      them. (One was so mean- I am not making this up- that the Abbot asked
      his doctors NOT to discharge him from the hospital before Christmas,
      just to give the community a break. He had been in for a pacemaker,
      by the way, and it did extend his life. Now there's a REAL test of
      the Fifth Commandment! LOL!)

      When I was much younger and living with those embittered monks, it
      was hard to look at them with much pity or calm. It isn't, now, thank
      God, and I have spent considerable time praying for both of them, as
      well as for a few of their "runners-up"! While all things are
      possible with God, the terrible thing is that this self-hatred never
      gets fixed in some people. It is a life sentence. Then, prayer is the
      only answer.

      In any situation, but perhaps worse when the sufferer is one's spouse
      or parent or child, this bitterness is a terrible cross, for both the
      sufferer and those around her. It might seem cold comfort to say that
      it can make all involved saints, but it truly is not cold comfort at
      all. Being saints is the only thing, ultimately, that matters. I hope
      by now some of my crosses of the past are praying for me, protecting
      me, by their prayers, from what once ailed them!

      Love and prayers,
      Jerome, OSB
      jeromeleo@... St. Mary's Monastery
      Petersham, MA
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