Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Holy Rule for Dec. 26

Expand Messages
  • Jerry Lee
    +PAX Sorry to be so late today. Mea culpa! Prayers, please, for all who have lost someone dear over the holidays. It can be so awful for them and then the pain
    Message 1 of 4 , Dec 26, 2005
    • 0 Attachment
      +PAX

      Sorry to be so late today. Mea culpa!

      Prayers, please, for all who have lost someone dear over the holidays. It can be so awful for them and then the pain can recur year after year. Prayers, too, for all those addicts for whom this season of feasting in food and drink can be a particularly trying time of temptation. May God bless and strengthen them all. Lord, help them as You know and will. God's will is best. All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

      April 26, August 26, December 26
      Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things

      If it happens
      that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister,
      let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority
      with all meekness and obedience.
      But if she sees that the weight of the burden
      altogether exceeds the limit of her strength,
      let her submit the reasons for her inability
      to the one who is over her
      in a quiet way and at an opportune time,
      without pride, resistance, or contradiction.
      And if after these representations
      the Superior still persists in her decision and command,
      let the subject know that this is for her good,
      and let her obey out of love,
      trusting in the help of God.

      REFLECTION

      Buried in chapters whose names may throw us off there are usually
      gems, one just has to dig a bit more carefully. Granted, impossible
      tasks are rarely asked of anyone these days, much less Oblates who
      live outside the monastery, but there is a beautiful method given
      here which has the widest of applications.

      Most interpersonal conflict arises from one being or feeling wronged.
      Escalation often follows when one tries to express their displeasure
      to the offender. Even people who are truly wrong do not enjoy being
      humiliated or treated as if they were nothing. Upset by another's
      actions, it is easy to lose one's cool. When both parties blow up, a
      relentless cycle of discord is born.

      The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece
      of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in
      life:

      "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride,
      resistance, or contradiction."

      We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the
      world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every
      complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer
      Service," but what's in a name?)

      Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect
      for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-
      violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with
      disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's
      non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the
      opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers
      pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results,
      not for a temporary subjugation.

      Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go
      to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even
      that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can
      consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel
      justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the
      first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is
      all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I
      got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen
      to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that
      small and worthless in public.

      Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about
      how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in
      the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending
      conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move. Very often prima donnas
      of either gender are filled with angry self-hatred.

      Watch people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any
      slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin. Sigh...
      Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital
      offense, everybody does it at one time or another. People who
      demonstrate anything else by their actions damage their own standing
      in the group as well, and rightly so.

      Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at
      dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a
      child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing
      to do with you." But it does, it really does. A community in choir
      after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of
      mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-
      benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so
      very likely to achieve results.

      Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!

      Love and prayers,
      Jerome, OSB
      http:www.stmarysmonastery.org
      jeromeleo@...
      Petersham, MA

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Brjeromeleo@aol.com
      +PAX Prayers, please, for Jeff - he was on the list a couple of months ago when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he died on December 12 after a
      Message 2 of 4 , Dec 25, 2006
      • 0 Attachment
        +PAX

        Prayers, please, for Jeff - he was on the list a couple of months ago when
        he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he died on December 12 after a
        short, but very difficult course. However, in his illness one of his three
        daughters who had been estranged came back and provided him with much comfort
        and love. Please pray for her - she is having a difficult time with guilt over
        not seeing him for several years and also for her two sisters -they are all
        young - 20's and early 30's - in their sorrow and loss. Prayers for Mary, on
        retreat at her Abbey this week, graces in abundance.

        Prayers, please, for all who have lost someone dear over the holidays. It
        can be so awful for them and then the pain can recur year after year. Prayers,
        too, for all those addicts for whom this season of feasting in food and drink
        can be a particularly trying time of temptation. May God bless and strengthen
        them all. Lord, help us all as You know and will. God's will is best. All
        is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

        April 26, August 26, December 26
        Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things

        If it happens
        that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister,
        let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority
        with all meekness and obedience.
        But if she sees that the weight of the burden
        altogether exceeds the limit of her strength,
        let her submit the reasons for her inability
        to the one who is over her
        in a quiet way and at an opportune time,
        without pride, resistance, or contradiction.
        And if after these representations
        the Superior still persists in her decision and command,
        let the subject know that this is for her good,
        and let her obey out of love,
        trusting in the help of God.

        REFLECTION

        Buried in chapters whose names may throw us off there are usually
        gems, one just has to dig a bit more carefully. Granted, impossible
        tasks are rarely asked of anyone these days, much less Oblates who
        live outside the monastery, but there is a beautiful method given
        here which has the widest of applications.

        Most interpersonal conflict arises from one being or feeling wronged.
        Escalation often follows when one tries to express their displeasure
        to the offender. Even people who are truly wrong do not enjoy being
        humiliated or treated as if they were nothing. Upset by another's
        actions, it is easy to lose one's cool. When both parties blow up, a
        relentless cycle of discord is born.

        The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece
        of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in
        life:

        "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride,
        resistance, or contradiction."

        We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the
        world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every
        complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer
        Service," but what's in a name?)

        Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect
        for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-
        violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with
        disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's
        non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the
        opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers
        pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results,
        not for a temporary subjugation.

        Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go
        to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even
        that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can
        consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel
        justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the
        first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is
        all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I
        got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen
        to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that
        small and worthless in public.

        Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about
        how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in
        the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending
        conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move. Very often prima donnas
        of either gender are filled with angry self-hatred.

        Watch people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any
        slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin. Sigh...
        Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital
        offense, everybody does it at one time or another. People who
        demonstrate anything else by their actions damage their own standing
        in the group as well, and rightly so.

        Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at
        dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a
        child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing
        to do with you." But it does, it really does. A community in choir
        after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of
        mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-
        benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so
        very likely to achieve results.

        Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!

        Love and prayers,
        Jerome, OSB
        http:www.stmarysmonastery.org
        _brjeromeleo@..._ (mailto:brjeromeleo@...)
        Petersham, MA





        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Br. Jerome Leo
        +PAX Prayers, please, for all who have lost someone dear over the holidays. It can be so awful for them and then the pain can recur year after year. Prayers,
        Message 3 of 4 , Dec 25, 2007
        • 0 Attachment
          +PAX

          Prayers, please, for all who have lost someone dear over the holidays. It
          can be so awful for them and then the pain can recur year after year. Prayers,
          too, for all those addicts for whom this season of feasting in food and drink
          can be a particularly trying time of temptation. May God bless and strengthen
          them all. Lord, help us all as You know and will. God's will is best. All
          is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! Thanks so much. JL

          April 26, August 26, December 26
          Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things

          If it happens
          that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister,
          let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority
          with all meekness and obedience.
          But if she sees that the weight of the burden
          altogether exceeds the limit of her strength,
          let her submit the reasons for her inability
          to the one who is over her
          in a quiet way and at an opportune time,
          without pride, resistance, or contradiction.
          And if after these representations
          the Superior still persists in her decision and command,
          let the subject know that this is for her good,
          and let her obey out of love,
          trusting in the help of God.

          REFLECTION

          Buried in chapters whose names may throw us off there are usually
          gems, one just has to dig a bit more carefully. Granted, impossible
          tasks are rarely asked of anyone these days, much less Oblates who
          live outside the monastery, but there is a beautiful method given
          here which has the widest of applications.

          Most interpersonal conflict arises from one being or feeling wronged.
          Escalation often follows when one tries to express their displeasure
          to the offender. Even people who are truly wrong do not enjoy being
          humiliated or treated as if they were nothing. Upset by another's
          actions, it is easy to lose one's cool. When both parties blow up, a
          relentless cycle of discord is born.

          The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece
          of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in
          life:

          "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride,
          resistance, or contradiction."

          We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the
          world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every
          complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer
          Service," but what's in a name?)

          Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect
          for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-
          violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with
          disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's
          non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the
          opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers
          pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results,
          not for a temporary subjugation.

          Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go
          to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even
          that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can
          consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel
          justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the
          first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is
          all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I
          got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen
          to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that
          small and worthless in public.

          Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about
          how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in
          the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending
          conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move. Very often prima donnas
          of either gender are filled with angry self-hatred.

          Watch people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any
          slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin. Sigh...
          Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital
          offense, everybody does it at one time or another. People who
          demonstrate anything else by their actions damage their own standing
          in the group as well, and rightly so.

          Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at
          dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a
          child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing
          to do with you." But it does, it really does. A community in choir
          after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of
          mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-
          benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so
          very likely to achieve results.

          Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!

          Love and prayers,
          Jerome, OSB
          http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
          Petersham, MA

          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.