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9937Re: [Hammock Camping] Re: poetry

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  • Ralph Oborn
    Aug 3, 2005
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      I LIKE! it.

      Much better.


      Ralph

      On 8/2/05, quiltpatti <quiltbinder@...> wrote:
      > Hi, I'm new here, though I confess, I have been lurking a while.
      >
      > Ralph,
      > Your poem provides some good basic feelings about hammocking, and a
      > good structure to build on. I'm not coming up with anything
      > original, but did a little editing on yours. I loved the dust part
      > but couldn't make it work, especially in the 2nd stanza, which it
      > seemed should be just about hammocks.I also threw in a few more
      > sylables in each line.
      > Any way, Here's my go at your poem.
      > Patti
      >
      > Hangers
      >
      > Ground people sleep in tarp, leanto, or tent
      > Squandering their nights in restless torment.
      > Fighting the rocks, roots, sticks, and cones.
      > Moaning and groaning, Oh!, my aching bones!
      > Vis'ted by mice, snakes, skunks and slugs;
      > Nightmares in mud with ants, spiders, and bugs.
      >
      >
      > Tree people are suspended by strap and rope
      > Above the hard ground, mud, rocks, and slope.
      > Rocked by the breezes, our cares float away;
      > Tired muscles relax, as gently we sway.
      > Then off to dreamland we blissfully fly,
      > Cradled securely 'tween earth and sky
      >
      > Ralph Oborn (revised by Patti Binder)
      >
      >
      > --- In hammockcamping@yahoogroups.com, Ralph Oborn
      > <Ralph.oborn@g...> wrote:
      > > A while ago Ed challenged me about peotry. I think I've come up
      > with a
      > > new genre, hammock poetry.
      > >
      > > So here it is, Ed suggested: "why not post it on the List and
      > > challenge others to respond in kind? --could be interesting"....
      > >
      > > I'm still working on some of the phrasing, it sounds a little like
      > > Yoda in parts.
      > >
      > > So if you can come up with with prose about hammocks, lets hear it.
      > >
      > > (if you can clean up some of my phrasing or meter problems, I'd
      > like
      > > to hear that too)
      > >
      > > Ralph Oborn
      > >
      > >
      > > Hangers
      > >
      > > Ground people sleep in tarp and tent
      > > Wondering where all their sleep went.
      > > Fighting the rock, the root, the cone.
      > > Where is my sleep? Here all alone.
      > > Vis'ted by ants, snakes, skunks and slugs
      > > Down in the mud with all the bugs.
      > >
      > > By all accounts, we came from dust,
      > > It doesn't mean, sleep there we must.
      > > Tree people hang by strap and rope
      > > Over the ground, above the slope
      > > While in our dreams, we could then fly
      > > Hanging there 'neath earth and sky
      > >
      > > Ralph Oborn
      >
      >
      >
      >
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