13368Re: [Hammock Camping] heat ,light and chickens
- Apr 5, 2006ralph, ralph, ralph... how long did that person have to go to college to learn to make up stuff like that? i`m not going to be sucker enough to belive it :~} ...tim
Ralph Oborn <Ralph.oborn@...> wrote: like is light the absense of darkness or is darkness the absense of light.
Let's settle this dark thing once and for all..
THE THEORY OF DARK SUCKERS
*as presented by Paul Holmgren*
with additions and corrections by Holly Stowe
For years it was believed that light wes emitted from an electric bulb;
recent information has proven otherwise - dark is sucked into the bulb -
therefore, the bulb is a dark sucker.
There are many types and sizes of dark suckers. The largest manufacturers of
dark suckers are General Electric and Sylvania. Some modern dark suckers
utilize solid power to operate properly. Solid power units can be purchased
from Eveready, Exide, and Duracell.
The dark sucker theory proves the existance of dark suckers as well as
proving that dark is heaver than light. Some examples are as follows:
Electric bulbs: There is less dark near the electric bulb than at a distance
of 100 feet when it is operating; therefore, it is sucking dark and can be
classified as a dark sucker. The larger the dark sucker, the greater the
distance it can suck dark. The larger the dark sucker the greater its
capacity of dark. The dark sucking capabilities are evident when the dark
sucker has reached its capacity and will no longer suck dark. At that point
you may notice the dark area on the inside portion of the dark sucker. The
larger the dark sucker, the larger the area of dark found within. This type
of dark sucker can be made directional by placing a shield around a portion
of the unit or behind it. This will prevent dark from entering the dark
sucker from that side thereby extending the range of the dark sucker on the
Sometimes to promote big events they use a really large directional dark
sucker. You can see the dark sucked out of the sky in a long cylinder shape
from miles away.
Candles - primitive dark suckers: There is more dark 30 feet from a lit
candle then there is at a distance of 3 feet. Proof of it's dark sucking
capabilities is relatively simple. Examine a new unused candle, notice that
the center core is not dark. Ignite the center core. Allow the center core
to burn for about 5 minutes. Notice the lack of dark around the candle.
Extinguish the candle flame. Notice that the center core of the candle is
now dark. The center core is a dark sucker protected by a soft insulator to
extend it's life expectancy and maintain rigidity to verify that this
primitive dark sucker is operating properly. Ignite the center core and
allow it to burn for a minimum of 2 minutes. Pass a clean pencil over the
top of the flame, left to right, approximately 3 inches above the center
core. Notice that there is no dark on the pencil. Pass the pencil over the
center core now about 1/2 inch. Notice that the pencil now has a dark area.
The pencil blocked the path of the dark being sucked to the core of the dark
sucker. This type dark sucker is very primitive and does not suck dark any
great distance nor does it have a large capacity.
Dark sucker solid power units may be purchased locally at a variety of
outlets. Size does not determine the life expectancy of the dark sucker
solid power unit. These solid power units work with many modern dark
suckers, and absorb dark from the dark sucker. The absorbed dark is
converted to solid power within the unit.
An example of the conversion of dark into solid power in the automobile of
today. Notice an auto in use during dark hours. Two (possibly four) large
dark suckers are located on the front. On the rear there are two (or 3)
smaller dark suckers with red filters. You may also notice several dark
suckers with yellow filters. These filters are required to remove a
percentage of red and yellow from total dark so as to energize the solid
power unit. The solid power unit permits the auto to be utilized during
hours of no dark by the dark it has absorbed. The number of dark suckers
varies with the age of the automobile. Newer automobile solid power units
require a greater percentage of red filtered dark. Older units generally
require more non-filtered dark. The solid power unit of the automobile has a
dark interior. This can be proved by cutting the solid power unit in half.
Dark is heavier than light. Dark always settles to the bottom of a lake
and/or river. Submerge just below the surface of a lake and you will notice
an absence of dark. Lower yourself to 15 feet below the surface and you will
notice a degree of darkness even on a sunny, bright day. Lower yourself to
50 feet (or more) below the surface and you are in total dark. Ergo, the
dark has settled to the bottom; therefore, dark is heavier than light.
Modern technology has allowed us to utilize the dark that has settled to the
bottom of large rivers through the creation of turbines which push the dark
downriver to the ocean, which has a larger holding capacity for dark and is
a common safe storage location. As the dark is passed through the turbine, a
percentage of solid power is removed and transmitted to various short term
storage plants for many usages. Prior to turbines, it was much more
difficult to move the dark from rivers to storage areas such as deep lakes
or the ocean. The Indians would paddle their canoes very little and not very
deeply if they were going in the direction of flow of dark so as not to slow
it down. However, if they were traveling opposite the natural flow of dark,
they would dig their paddles very deep and rapidly to assist the flow of
dark to its ocean storage place.
Dark is faster than light. If you would open a drawer very slowly, you will
notice that the light goes into the drawer. (You can see this happen.) You
cannot see the dark leave the drawer. Continue to open the drawer and light
will continue to enter the drawer; however, you will not see any dark leave
the drawer. Therefore, dark is faster than light. Go into a closet, close
the door, and turn off the dark sucker. Have a friend open the door about 1
inch. Your friend will not see any dark leave the closet, nor will you. Have
your friend open the door until half the closet is dark and half is light.
Since 2 objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, and you do
not feel any change in pressure, by compressing the dark, it is logical to
assume that dark is faster than light.
One last proof.
What is a by-product of movement of dark? Heat. What is a by- product of
dark suckers? Heat, again.
The sun is probably the largest dark sucker and when the sun is out the dark
is gone but a lot of heat is generated. If you get in the way of the sun
sucking the dark for to long some of the reddish (weaker) dark may become
attached to your skin. This can be painful. Avoid this at all costs.
Therefore a dark sucker generates heat during its operation, sucking dark
from the surrounding area.
Around here we take a lot of our dark and ship it by wire to the bottom of a
big reservoir. If you dive down very deep guess what you see...... yup,
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