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Some Funny IRC Conversations

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  • Shlomi Fish
    Hi all! I m including here a few funny (or hopefully funny at least) IRC conversations that took place recently, and which I added to the bottom of
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 12, 2008
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      Hi all!

      I'm including here a few funny (or hopefully funny at least) IRC conversations
      that took place recently, and which I added to the bottom of
      http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/shlomif . I omitted two
      conversations:

      1. One that mentions a certain girl (not by name), along with some sex-talk. I
      don't think it's offensive but I'm not taking chances (search for "QBasic was
      the sh*t!").

      2. One in which we emulate some famous phrases about the Third Reich (but more
      universal in message). See "graphics I did in crayon" there.

      But here are the rest. Feel free to comment on them as they may start
      interesting conversations on Perl-IL and/or Hackers-IL.

      Regards,

      Shlomi Fish

      {{{{{{{
      --> spx2 has joined #soc-help
      <spx2> I want to FIGHT FOR PERL IN GSOC !
      <spx2> I feel the power of metal in my veins
      <spx2> perl is flowing in my blood !
      <spx2> What perl Armies can I join this YEAR ?
      <ambs> spx2: a lot :)
      <spx2> ambs: Hail BRETHREN !
      <spx2> where are the armies ???
      <spx2> I want to ENGAGE and start preparing my weapons !
      <spx2> ambs: what projects are this year ?
      <ambs> spx2: ideas at
      http://www.perlfoundation.org/perl5/index.cgi?gsoc2008_projects
      <spx2> I will fight this year in the PERL battle !
      <rindolf> spx2: Python is for the WEAK and TIMID!
      <spx2> rindolf: TOTALLY !
      * spx2 examines the war grounds

      }}}}}}}

      {{{{{{{
      <edeca> Hrm. More infernal questions, mainly because I am trying to
      make my perl prettier and contain less nasty if's. I have
      $foo and $bar which are obtained from split(/ /, 'kitten
      loving'). But I don't want undef if the split fails, I'd
      rather '' for $bar or both. What's the nicest way to do
      that?
      <Khisanth> ($foo, $bar) = map { $_ // "" } split / /, $str; # 5.10
      version :)
      <edeca> Noo 5.10! :)
      <Khisanth> ($foo, $bar) = map { defined $_ ? $_ : "" } split / /,
      $str; # probably some other shorter ways too
      <rindolf> edeca: [bad idea] you can also try using the
      conditional->inheritance refactoring.
      <rindolf> :-)
      * Khisanth pours boiling coffee on rindolf
      <rindolf> Khisanth: I hate coffee, but I guess I deserved it.
      <rindolf> That was a joke, of course.
      <Khisanth> you weren't really supposed to like having boiling anything
      poured on you but I guess you are into the kinkier stuff

      -- Freenode's #perl
      }}}}}}}

      {{{{{{{
      <rbastic> Juerd: eh in today's world of heavy JS on the clientside, i
      think it makes a little more sense to use the same lang.
      everywhere
      <Juerd> rbastic: JS on the client side is because often it's the
      only option the universe provides.
      <rbastic> Juerd: from a business perspective, you reduce the
      complexity and potential difficulties in finding new hires
      with the same skillset
      <rindolf> rbastic: have you heard of RJS?
      <Juerd> rbastic: On the server side, however, you have great
      freedom.
      <rbastic> rindolf: no, what's that?
      <Caelum> larry wants perl6 to run on javascript :)
      <rindolf> rbastic: "One Language; and One Sayings".
      <Juerd> rbastic: Exactly. I would never hire a server side
      programmer who knows *only* Javascript, and is too stupid to
      learn whatever we're using on the server side.
      <rindolf> rbastic: my translation to a sentence from the Tower of
      Babel myth.
      <rbastic> Juerd: i'll agree with that also. any real programmer knows
      or has at least coded in half a dozen languages before
      <Juerd> From a business perspective, you should avoid crap coders at
      all cost.
      <Juerd> Knows *or* has coded... Hmmm...!
      <rindolf> rbastic: though according to what most scholars believe it
      was not about using one language but rather thinking the
      same.
      <Juerd> I hope they haven't coded in half a dozen languages without
      knowing them.
      <Juerd> That'd be scary.
      <zshzn> Reality is scary, Juerd
      <talexb> Hmm, BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, assembler, C, more assembler, C,
      Pascal ... Perl!
      -- The Grand Unified Programming Language
      }}}}}}}

      {{{{{{{
      <rindolf> rbastic: now I'm working with C++.
      <rindolf> rbastic: I found out that my project compiles really
      quickly.
      <rindolf> rbastic: under 5 or 10 minutes on a P4-2.4GHz with 1 GB of
      RAM.
      <rindolf> rbastic: maybe KDE is making g++ look bad.
      <rbastic> rindolf: yeah, i'm not a big KDE fan
      <rindolf> rbastic: actually I'm using KDE-3.5.8 here.
      <rindolf> rbastic: I was talking about the compilation speed of KDE
      apps and KDE itself.
      <rindolf> rbastic: possibly because each file has half-a-gazillion
      headers.
      <rindolf> My C++ code is a server one, so we don't have too many deps.
      <rbastic> yeah, isn't there a way to cache header files? ie. in their
      "compiled" form?
      <rbastic> or is that something I'm remembering from some other
      programming language that purported to build on top of C?
      <rindolf> rbastic: MSVC has that.
      <rbastic> ahh, nods
      <rindolf> rbastic: no, Visual C++ has precompiled headers.
      <rindolf> rbastic: I remember that I kept deleting them.
      <rbastic> yeah, couldn't remember
      <rbastic> lol
      <rindolf> Pascal compiles very quickly.
      <rindolf> That's one of the things I enjoyed in Delphi.
      <rbastic> ugh, the app i'm been maintaining in Java was originally a
      fat client/server desktop app, written in Delphi
      <rindolf> rbastic: ah.
      <rbastic> i remember booting up the old app for the first time, and
      being amazed at how slow it was
      <rbastic> eventually, i had to duplicate a feature in the Java code
      and i wasn't sure how it was implemented before
      <rindolf> rbastic: you mean the Java app is faster? :S
      <rbastic> so being as i had no Delphi experience, and the newer Delphi
      environments made NO sense to me at all, i just opened up
      the SQL Server query analyzer
      <rbastic> rindolf: yes, but only b/c the Delphi programmer was an
      idiot, issuing queries over and over again needlessly
      <rbastic> rindolf: if you could've seen the MSSQL Performance Analyzer
      or whatever, it was basically just.. Query1, Query2, Query3,
      Query1, Query2, Query3, repeat.
      <rbastic> it was probably the worst ive ever seen in my life.. belongs
      on www.thedailywtf.com

      -- Can I haz a fast compiler on Freenode's #perl
      }}}}}}}

      {{{{{{{{{{
      <rindolf> scrottie: hi.
      <scrottie> hi rindolf!
      <rindolf> scrottie: are you the scrottie from use.perl.org?
      <scrottie> yeah.
      <rindolf> scrottie: ah, nice to meet you.
      <rindolf> Well, chat with you on IRC at least.
      * scrottie cowers from the swinging fist probably coming his
      way
      <rindolf> scrottie: I'm "Shlomi%20Fish"
      <scrottie> oh, heh, thanks
      <rindolf> It's a curse.
      <scrottie> hmm. i vaguely remember interesting stuff from you but
      can't honestly place what.
      <scrottie> I know I've seen you around here before too.
      <rindolf> Yeah, my use.perl.org blog is mostly technical and
      perl-related.
      <scrottie> I post on use.perl.org entirely too much.
      <rindolf> So it may be a bit boring.
      <rindolf> Sometimes it's a bit philosophical.
      <rindolf> scrottie: yes.
      <scrottie> heh. and mine is offensively off-topic.
      <rindolf> scrottie: I have other blogs.
      <scrottie> I've posted to livejournal twice!

      -- I think too much - therefore I blog too much on Freenode's #perl
      }}}}}}}}}}

      {{{{{{{{{{
      <rindolf> Can we add styles like <b>, <i>, etc.?
      <rindolf> Or colours?
      <rindolf> Or blink?
      <rindolf> Or images?
      <rindolf> Or flash applets?
      <scrottie> <banner>!
      <alanhaggai> rindolf: No I think. Google's Web Application does not
      allow them. It is just a <textarea>.

      -- How intrusive do you want your text to be?
      -- Freenode's #perl
      }}}}}}}}}}

      {{{{{{{{{{
      <rindolf> A lot of ise's [in Aspell's British Spelling checker] are false
      positivies.
      <rindolf> positives even.
      <rindolf> People who say $minor_spelling_correction even, are lam.
      <rindolf> lame even.
      <rindolf> I never get tired of these self-referential jokes.

      -- Freenode's #perl
      }}}}}}}}}}

      Regards,

      Shlomi Fish

      ---------------------------------------------------------------------
      Shlomi Fish shlomif@...
      Homepage: http://www.shlomifish.org/

      I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.
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