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Re: [hackers-il] Planning a _good_ Dating Site

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  • Nadav Har'El
    ... Maybe Paul Graham, like you, never actually tried to look at those dating sites? I suggest you do. I know for a fact that there are a number of them that
    Message 1 of 9 , May 12, 2005
      On Wed, May 11, 2005, Shlomi Fish wrote about "[hackers-il] Planning a _good_ Dating Site":
      > "I am a [male] seeking a [female] between [20]-[30]."
      >
      > Super. But what if I have any hair colour preference? Or area of residence? Or
      > wish to have some common interests? Or don't want her to like the Opera
      > because I find it so boring? Come on. Even Paul Graham said the state of the
      > art in dating services suck.

      Maybe Paul Graham, like you, never actually tried to look at those dating
      sites? I suggest you do.

      I know for a fact that there are a number of them that do provide every
      one of the features you ask for, and more. They let you search for other
      people that are "close" to you in their features, or even better: they let you
      specify which features to look for, and how important each feature is
      for you. So, regardless your own charactersitics, you might specify that
      you're looking for someone who's a non-smoker (saying that it's non-
      negotiable), tall (important), lives in your part of the country (important),
      BA or up (minor importance), don't care about hair color, and so on.
      But at the same time, the girls also have these search profiles set up,
      so while a certain girl might fit your search, you don't fit hers (say,
      because your hair is not blonde), so she doesn't come up in your search
      results.

      This is basically exactly what you asked for.

      Just remember, don't just ask for "preferred hair colors" and stuff -
      also give the option "I don't care about hair color". Some of us don't
      think that love depends on trivialities like specific hair colors or
      height.

      > 5. Deploying on a larger scale for an international audience - instaneous.

      Forget about it. If you're interested in Israel, make sure everything on
      your site is 100% Hebrew. And remember that Israelis will not want to date
      people from Sweden - think local.

      > Success percent: ?

      Your biggest problem will be to start building the user base. Nobody
      will like to add themselves to an empty database. To convince people
      to enter, you'll need to ensure them privacy (which means the software
      may be free, but you mustn't share the data unless under strict guidelines!),
      and a very good interface.

      A good selling point will also to ensure people that the site will remain
      100% free forever. Many people feel "cheap" if they need to pay for finding
      a date, but using a free service which you feel is only a search infrastructure
      and you do the searching yourself, is in some ways less embarrasing.


      --
      Nadav Har'El | Thursday, May 12 2005, 3 Iyyar 5765
      nyh@... |-----------------------------------------
      Phone +972-523-790466, ICQ 13349191 |We could wipe out world hunger if we knew
      http://nadav.harel.org.il |how to make AOL's Free CD's edible!
    • Nadav Har'El
      ... This is all really silly. How many married couples you know have very similar musical tastes, or similar blog feeds? Heck, in most married couples I know,
      Message 2 of 9 , May 12, 2005
        On Wed, May 11, 2005, cyphunk wrote about "Re: [hackers-il] Planning a _good_ Dating Site":
        > While on the topic, perhaps try making a dating site that connects
        > people based on any of the following:
        > * Similarity in musical taste using audio scrobbler rss feeds:
        > http://audioscrobbler.com/user/cyphunk
        > rss feed: http://ws.audioscrobbler.com/rdf/history/cyphunk
        > * Similarity in general blog feeds.
        > For this the user would export an OPML file from their favorite blog

        This is all really silly. How many married couples you know have very similar
        musical tastes, or similar blog feeds? Heck, in most married couples I know,
        only one of them is computer savvy, and the other would not have a blog at
        all.

        So this is a really bad way to match people up, unless you insist to be
        matched up with only someone who's nearly identical to yourself... This
        is perhaps a good way to find friends to talk computer programming with,
        but probably not the best way to find a spouse.


        --
        Nadav Har'El | Thursday, May 12 2005, 3 Iyyar 5765
        nyh@... |-----------------------------------------
        Phone +972-523-790466, ICQ 13349191 |A smart man always covers his ass. A wise
        http://nadav.harel.org.il |man just keeps his pants on.
      • Shlomi Fish
        ... Hmmm... this is good. ... Right. You can always specify I don t care. In any case, I should note that one site I encountered (actually for matching
        Message 3 of 9 , May 12, 2005
          On Thursday 12 May 2005 11:22, Nadav Har'El wrote:
          > On Wed, May 11, 2005, Shlomi Fish wrote about "[hackers-il] Planning a
          _good_ Dating Site":
          > > "I am a [male] seeking a [female] between [20]-[30]."
          > >
          > > Super. But what if I have any hair colour preference? Or area of
          > > residence? Or wish to have some common interests? Or don't want her to
          > > like the Opera because I find it so boring? Come on. Even Paul Graham
          > > said the state of the art in dating services suck.
          >
          > Maybe Paul Graham, like you, never actually tried to look at those dating
          > sites? I suggest you do.
          >
          > I know for a fact that there are a number of them that do provide every
          > one of the features you ask for, and more. They let you search for other
          > people that are "close" to you in their features, or even better: they let
          > you specify which features to look for, and how important each feature is
          > for you. So, regardless your own charactersitics, you might specify that
          > you're looking for someone who's a non-smoker (saying that it's non-
          > negotiable), tall (important), lives in your part of the country
          > (important), BA or up (minor importance), don't care about hair color, and
          > so on. But at the same time, the girls also have these search profiles set
          > up, so while a certain girl might fit your search, you don't fit hers (say,
          > because your hair is not blonde), so she doesn't come up in your search
          > results.
          >

          Hmmm... this is good.

          > This is basically exactly what you asked for.
          >


          > Just remember, don't just ask for "preferred hair colors" and stuff -
          > also give the option "I don't care about hair color". Some of us don't
          > think that love depends on trivialities like specific hair colors or
          > height.
          >

          Right. You can always specify "I don't care." In any case, I should note that
          one site I encountered (actually for matching electronic pen-pals) was pretty
          bad. All it did was offer a long list of the people who registered, with no
          way to search on except for age or gender... %-) Now, naturally I'd like to
          correspond with someone who shares some of my common interests.

          After putting myself there, I received exactly one E-mail from someone who
          wanted to correspond with it. I did not reply to it because I had suspicion
          for spam.

          > > 5. Deploying on a larger scale for an international audience -
          > > instaneous.
          >
          > Forget about it. If you're interested in Israel, make sure everything on
          > your site is 100% Hebrew. And remember that Israelis will not want to date
          > people from Sweden - think local.
          >

          As I told a correspondant, you need to have a specific site for each country
          or region of countries. The differences in culture, tastes, and other facts,
          are too great to be able to create one site for each culture.

          > > Success percent: ?
          >
          > Your biggest problem will be to start building the user base. Nobody
          > will like to add themselves to an empty database. To convince people
          > to enter, you'll need to ensure them privacy (which means the software
          > may be free, but you mustn't share the data unless under strict
          > guidelines!), and a very good interface.
          >
          > A good selling point will also to ensure people that the site will remain
          > 100% free forever. Many people feel "cheap" if they need to pay for finding
          > a date, but using a free service which you feel is only a search
          > infrastructure and you do the searching yourself, is in some ways less
          > embarrasing.

          Well, I should note that this is just an idea I had, and have no intention of
          implementing it myself. Also note that a person may not necessarily have to
          search for people with interests similar to his or her own. He can search for
          anything he pleases.

          Regards,

          Shlomi Fish (who is now looking for a girlfriend).

          ---------------------------------------------------------------------
          Shlomi Fish shlomif@...
          Homepage: http://www.shlomifish.org/

          Tcl is LISP on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures
          is Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of
          paragraphs.
        • cyphunk
          I guess the MIT s project which connects people based on their common hang out spots and routines (using Serendipity http://www.mobule.com/) is also useless:
          Message 4 of 9 , May 12, 2005
            I guess the MIT's project which connects people based on their common
            hang out spots and routines (using Serendipity http://www.mobule.com/)
            is also useless:
            http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2004-03/ns-tdg031704.php

            While you might be right that it wont make a happy match, it is
            generally what many people look for initially in whomever they meet or
            date (that is, similarities that they can relate to). The first
            question I ask of any potential friend is what type of music they listen
            to. I'm not saying I am the majority, but it *can* work, I would believe.

            Nadav Har'El wrote:

            >On Wed, May 11, 2005, cyphunk wrote about "Re: [hackers-il] Planning a _good_ Dating Site":
            >
            >
            >>While on the topic, perhaps try making a dating site that connects
            >>people based on any of the following:
            >>* Similarity in musical taste using audio scrobbler rss feeds:
            >> http://audioscrobbler.com/user/cyphunk
            >> rss feed: http://ws.audioscrobbler.com/rdf/history/cyphunk
            >>* Similarity in general blog feeds.
            >> For this the user would export an OPML file from their favorite blog
            >>
            >>
            >
            >This is all really silly. How many married couples you know have very similar
            >musical tastes, or similar blog feeds? Heck, in most married couples I know,
            >only one of them is computer savvy, and the other would not have a blog at
            >all.
            >
            >So this is a really bad way to match people up, unless you insist to be
            >matched up with only someone who's nearly identical to yourself... This
            >is perhaps a good way to find friends to talk computer programming with,
            >but probably not the best way to find a spouse.
            >
            >
            >
            >
          • cyphunk
            Also, the features I listed could be used for exclusion instead of inclusion. For instance, I d like to search for [inclusions criteria] but please exclude
            Message 5 of 9 , May 12, 2005
              Also, the features I listed could be used for exclusion instead of
              inclusion. For instance, I'd like to search for [inclusions criteria]
              but please exclude anyone from my list that frequents a7.org.il, listens
              to Britney spears, etc.

              cyphunk wrote:

              > I guess the MIT's project which connects people based on their common
              > hang out spots and routines (using Serendipity http://www.mobule.com/)
              > is also useless:
              > http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2004-03/ns-tdg031704.php
              >
              > While you might be right that it wont make a happy match, it is
              > generally what many people look for initially in whomever they meet or
              > date (that is, similarities that they can relate to). The first
              > question I ask of any potential friend is what type of music they
              > listen to. I'm not saying I am the majority, but it *can* work, I
              > would believe.
              >
              > Nadav Har'El wrote:
              >
              >> On Wed, May 11, 2005, cyphunk wrote about "Re: [hackers-il] Planning
              >> a _good_ Dating Site":
              >>
              >>
              >>> While on the topic, perhaps try making a dating site that connects
              >>> people based on any of the following:
              >>> * Similarity in musical taste using audio scrobbler rss feeds:
              >>> http://audioscrobbler.com/user/cyphunk
              >>> rss feed: http://ws.audioscrobbler.com/rdf/history/cyphunk
              >>> * Similarity in general blog feeds.
              >>> For this the user would export an OPML file from their favorite
              >>> blog
              >>
              >>
              >> This is all really silly. How many married couples you know have very
              >> similar
              >> musical tastes, or similar blog feeds? Heck, in most married couples
              >> I know,
              >> only one of them is computer savvy, and the other would not have a
              >> blog at
              >> all.
              >>
              >> So this is a really bad way to match people up, unless you insist to be
              >> matched up with only someone who's nearly identical to yourself... This
              >> is perhaps a good way to find friends to talk computer programming with,
              >> but probably not the best way to find a spouse.
              >>
              >>
              >>
              >>
              >
              >
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