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9175Re: [Gnosticism2] Re: the reasons for Reason

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  • Gavin Riggott
    Feb 8, 2004
      > Thank you SO much, dear Mike, for responding and understanding!
      > (To tell you the truth: I immediately regretted to have mentioned
      > this)...

      Don't regret it, Jach, sometimes it's good to get these things off your
      chest or out in the open. I have a neurological condition called FRDA that
      is slowly eating away at my nervous system. This causes me many problems,
      the main one being an almost total loss of balance, but also chronic reflux
      disease. Imagine heart-burn so bad it makes you vomit (and when you do,
      it's black due to slight internal bleeding where stomach acid has escaped).
      The only way to stop this was to eat - if there was food into my stomach to
      digest, the problem was lessened. This caused me to put on weight, and that
      is one of the things that potentially makes reflux worse. It was a viscous
      circle. I tried various medications, but at best they only made it possible
      to sleep; I was still in regular pain. Although not depressed as such, it
      did make life bleak and I frequently questioned the point of continuing to
      live in this body. Fortunately, just recently a new medication has been
      developed that has almost totally cured the problem. Almost, but not
      quite - I still have be very careful with what and when I eat, but my food
      intake is now both stable and healthy (now if only I can summon the
      motivation to do some sort of exercise... ).

      However, I now consider my suffering a blessing... in a sense. In the wider
      sense, it's suffering and therefore a curse, but in the narrower sense, it
      has caused me to question my axioms about the universe. My suffering keeps
      me grounded. I talk with Taoism and Zen inclined friends who often take the
      common stance that our "fall" into the physical world is simply a natural
      part of the human situation and not really a problem. I occasionally find
      myself drifting towards this view, but then I come face-to-face with
      suffering, in my oppinion the greatest mystery of all, and find the
      "natural" view lacking in credibility. If I hadn't have got this desease,
      where would I be now? Would I be a Taoist? Or even a non-religious
      materialist? I don't know, but I find it hard to see how I would have come
      to Gnosticism without it. So in that respect, there is at least something
      to be greatful for, a small piece of light in the darkness. I wouldn't dare
      to presume to understand your situation, but perhaps your experiences have
      some something in common?

      Gavin Riggott
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