Sparky Girl biography
- This was the slightly exaggerated biography of my last girlfriend; we
wrote it for her job where some personal profiles were required for a
little guidebook to the employees. She has an art degree, makes
jewelry at her job, and is sparky at least in the mechanical sense:
"Nancy G. was born on a dark and stormy night, with a pen in hand, and
has been doing art ever since, even while evading pursuing werewolves
in the Black Forest. She slew the one that almost got her by impaling
him on a soldering iron covered with molten silver solder, making her
escape to the avant-garde art centers of Europe, where she studied
under the modern masters and taught them how to draw in realistic style
so they could get into art school.
"Basing her jewelry designs on items spirited away from a smoking hole
in the ground at Roswell New Mexico, she is currently teaching an
intensive short course on techniques of sculpture using non-Euclidean
geometries for the unifying themes and meteoric iron for the matrix
material. She has recently been awarded a genius grant for her
advanced concept study of using actual physical materials to provide
the illusion of negative space in sculptures.
Her latest ambition is to grow a prehensile tail and develop a new
electronic musical instrument, which allows her to use it as an extra
limb to operate some of the controls hands-free.
"In her spare time when not working on art, Nancy' hobbies also include
music and Mongolian History. She is currently attempting to transcribe
The Ulan Bator Tabernacle Choir's "Greatest Throatsinging Hits Vols. I
through VIII...." into Bach - style contrapuntal formats for 18th
"Her other accomplishments include the arsenal of Free AOL membership
disks she is accumulating and machining into Ninja throwing stars.
As well as her attempt to duplicate every "trick arrow" found in Green
Arrow comics over the years. She is also attempting to clone female
human children from the genetic material found in sugar, spice and
"Other parts of her history we cannot discuss here, such as her period
as an SR-71 Blackbird mission planner.
"When not enslaving men to her will, she likes walks in the park,
sunsets, and kittens."
- Brooks A. Rowlett