Re: Re: [giftoflovingkindness] Re: Back to Judy re the Flow and Life is Hard
amazing to hear you both.
On Sun, 28 Sep 2008 Alice wrote :
>Dear Judy & Carmalene,
>Gee Whiz! i love the honesty of both of you talking about your lives so much...just a little note to say that i appreciate them very much.
>Kudos to all of you, members here too, for sharing your lives with us.
>Namaste and Metta To One and All,
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Judy L. Simon
> To: email@example.com
> Sent: Monday, July 28, 2008 1:49 AM
> Subject: [giftoflovingkindness] Re: Back to Judy re the Flow and Life is Hard
> Hi Carmelene - you're right, everything is in the flow...the bad
> stuff, too. I can swim right over to the bad stuff and live over
> there, too, and sometimes I do. I don't think your finding the
> concrete twenty dollar bill in the flow is so weird. I love the way
> you describe the flow. Its right on the mark.Maybe we'll share a room
> at the looney bin, but I have experienced the concreteness of the
> flow, too.
> Not to go into a reverse ego trip, but I was a bad drug addict for
> about ten years. One morning about thirty years ago, I came to,
> laying in the dirt in a hedge row between a busy street and a park.
> My car was parked under a tree with all the doors open. I had no idea
> how I got there or what occured in my car. I laid there in the hedges
> watching the freshly showered, nicely dressed people driving their
> cars to work and I was completly baffled. I could not figure out how
> those people could do that and I wished I knew how. A couple of years
> later, I was going to AA meetings, my first brush with the spiritual
> side of life. I had a little apartment, two pairs of black jeans,
> some flip flops, one shirt I had bought in a liquor store in Juarez,
> Mexico and a little bible I found in the back of one the the kitchen
> cabinets. Another AA member had given me a twin size mattress, a lamp
> and a couple of pots and pans.
> I got a job working in the mail room of this big building and was
> trying with all my heart to change my life. I am five foot nine but I
> weighed a hundred pounds - scarecrowish. It was vital to me to stay
> clean, eat right and go to work. The most important thing to me at
> the time was going to the grocery store on pay day and getting good
> food to eat. One pay day morning I went out and my car wouldn't
> start. I FREAKED. I got a ride to and from work, but it was pay day
> and it was my grocery night. I was crying because I didn't think I
> was going to be able to go to the store, but something came over me
> and told me to go to my car and drive to the store. The car started,
> I went to the store and got my most precious food, and drove home. My
> car never started again until I had saved the money to have it fixed.
> I know my car starting that night was part of the flow I was in. It
> was tangible proof to me that I was on my way to a better life. I
> knew it was concrete flow and at that moment I knew I would be okay.
> Since then, I've been to college, photography school, I've worked in
> great jobs and have owned two houses and I've had some bad time, too.
> I have friends and a life. Right now I'm halfway between bad times
> headed to good times. And I know its the flow. I can close my eyes
> and see the molecules. This may be more info than you ever wanted,
> but there you go...lol...I enjoy talking to you and I love this
> --- In firstname.lastname@example.org, carmelenesiani@... wrote:
> > Judy -- Loved your image of "the flow." For me it's not esoteric
> only --
> > it's concrete as well. It manifests in form. In synchronicity.
> In the things
> > people say to me. In the so-called random happenstances of my
> life. In
> > somehing as "mundane" as finding a twenty dollar bill on the
> ground. See? I'm
> > crazy enough to belive that energy can shape and even move matter.
> So -- I guess
> > that makes me a candidate for the loony bin myself !!!
> > I also want to add however, that "being in the flow" doesn't mean
> we don't
> > suffer. There's lots of suffering in the flow. There's ALL of
> life in the
> > flow. But I find that a commitment to finding the flow and living
> with it --
> > keeps me in relationship to the divine all the while. I''ve had a
> beautiful life.
> > I've never really and truly "suffered." Things have never been
> all that
> > hard for me. (Well, I guess I should say -- I used to think of
> them as having
> > been terrible, actually -- but I don't anymore) (smile). I think
> of people who
> > have had truly difficult lives. Horrible suffering. Unspeakable
> > And I wonder about my arrogance. It's easy for me to sit here in
> my living
> > room, the fan blowing on me, blything typing about "the flow." On
> the other
> > hand -- I've never been pushed into a cattle car headed for god-
> knows-where nor
> > watch any members oof my family shot before my eyes nor even had a
> man raise
> > his hand to me. Sometimes -- I am ashamed of myself for my high
> > ideas about how to live. Nevertheless -- my struggle is to accept
> what was given
> > ME. The path that I was placed upon. The life that I was born
> into. We are
> > all one. And being all one -- some of us are burdened with
> suffering for the
> > sake of others -- some of us are burdened with the responsibility
> of pointing
> > to higher ground. It's all part of the flow.
> > Carmelene
> > Carmelene
> > **************Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign up
> > FanHouse Fantasy Football today.
> > (http://www.fanhouse.com/fantasyaffair?ncid=aolspr00050000000020)
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