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Re: [genpcncfir] cousin marriages

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  • Carol Singh
    Dear Paula, Thanks. I will. She was an inspiring example to us. Even when we were barely out of toddlerhood, if a question arose among us about what to do and
    Message 1 of 6 , Jun 3, 2003
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      Dear Paula, Thanks. I will. She was an inspiring
      example to us. Even when we were barely out of
      toddlerhood, if a question arose among us about what
      to do and Mama was not there, one of us would always
      ask, "What do you think Mama would do?" What we did
      was determined by our deciding how Mama would think.
      Every one of us also grew up protecting Mama from
      anything we thought would upset her or hurt her
      feelings. If one of the young ones had a problem at
      school or had done something he should not have done,
      the rest of us would talk about it and put everything
      to rights without Mama's ever knowing the difference.
      By the time my younger brother was in 7th grade, the
      school principal never even called Mama about him.
      Instead, she had him bring home a note to me, and the
      principal and I made the decision. At Christmas, the
      four of us looked through the Sears' catalogue and
      decided that each of us would choose no more than four
      gifts and that for the rest, we would ask for books
      and clothes--which Mama would be getting for us
      anyway. This was even before we moved to Virginia. I
      was the only one who knew about Santa Claus, and I had
      told the rest of them that Santa Claus could not
      possibly give every child the same number of gifts, so
      wouldn't it be nice, if each of us gave up something
      so that some poor child could have a good Christmas. I
      was grown before I learned that Mama had overheard our
      Christmas gift discussions and had been really touched
      by our thoughtfulness, even though she had had enough
      money for our gifts. By the time I was in college,
      though, Mama's medical bills took money that we could
      have used for other things. That's when I (looking
      younger than my age) would dress in grungy blue jeans
      and grab my little sister and go through the streets
      in our neighborhood in Richmond's West End with a toe
      sack and collect the drink bottles that people had
      dropped in the alleys and tossed into the grass by the
      sidewalks. We'd collect enough each weekend to earn
      ourselves three or four dollars at the store a couple
      of blocks from the house. Some of the money we used to
      buy Mama a pound of coffe and a pack of cigarettes.
      The rest of the money we took home to her. All of us
      drank coffee. Here Mama made up for all the years her
      own mother had deprived her of the joy of coffee
      drinking because Grandma thought coffee bad for
      children. We drank like fiends from the time we were
      out of diapers. Each week the six of us went though
      seven pounds of coffee! The cigarettes were Mama's
      own. She told us she took up smoking when she was
      twenty-two and should never have started the habit.
      Try as she might, she couldn't quit. It seemed that
      whenever she tried to quit, her mastoiditis flared up
      so that she was actually distraught to the point of
      shifting her weight constantly from her left foot to
      her right and scratching the inside of her ear itching
      ear with a q-tip. If she were out of cigarettes and
      her ear had flared up, we'd race each other to the
      store to buy her cigarettes. Maybe nicotine is good
      for something. Maybe it decreases itching or at least
      numbs the itch signals. After a few puffs, she always
      felt remarkably better. Another good that may have
      come from seeing her need for cigarettes is that none
      of us smokes. For me, what makes geneology so
      rewarding is that we keep our families in our memories
      and that through our memories they continue to
      influence other lives. Later, Carol
      --- Paula Baker <paulabaker69@...> wrote:
      > That was an awesome account of your mom. Please
      > include it in her genealogy
      > so others can read it down the road. A great
      > characterization, Carol.
      > Heartwarming.
      >
      >
      >
      > Paula Anne Baker
      > paulabaker69@...
      > Researching BAKER, MANNING, TYSON, STOCKS AND OTHERS
      > in Pitt County NC and
      > Greene County NC
      > and COLE, NORMAN, WHITE, SUTTON AND OTHERS in SC,
      > GA, and LA
      >
      >
      > That was an
      >
      >
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    • Paula Baker
      Please include the second one in her genealogy too. You are one of those natural writers who probably doesn t realize it. I taught gifted children for 13
      Message 2 of 6 , Jun 3, 2003
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        Please include the second one in her genealogy too. You are one of those
        natural writers who probably doesn't realize it. I taught gifted children
        for 13 years. You need to write the story of your mother and publish it.



        Paula Anne Baker
        paulabaker69@...
        Researching BAKER, MANNING, TYSON, STOCKS AND OTHERS in Pitt County NC and
        Greene County NC
        and COLE, NORMAN, WHITE, SUTTON AND OTHERS in SC, GA, and LA

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      • Carol Singh
        Dear Paula, Thank you so very much for taking time to compliment me on my writing about Mama. She was so inspiring to us that it s more as if she comes through
        Message 3 of 6 , Jun 3, 2003
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          Dear Paula, Thank you so very much for taking time to
          compliment me on my writing about Mama. She was so
          inspiring to us that it's more as if she comes through
          the words by the force of her character. She truly
          left her mark on the four of us. Mama had a life-long
          love of history and had hoped some day to write a
          history of Pitt County. Without being sentimental
          about it, she loved Pitt County as much as anyone who
          proclaimed that love, but she preferred to show it by
          her actions rather than through telling people.
          Initially, I hated history because everybody else
          could read the book and come up with the very same
          answers I had. Somehow, too, my school history texts
          always left me wanting to know more than I was told.
          That's when I started reading biographies and began
          really to experience the lives about which I was
          reading. I had the same experience reading the old
          Eastern Reflectors and Daily Reflectors at the
          rootsweb site. That's when it came to me that what was
          missing was the day-by-day happenings behind the
          scenes that shaped the characters of the people who
          made history and that probably inspired those writers
          behind the pages of my history books. Genealogy was a
          natural outgrowth of my search for the people behind
          the history. For example, it was maddening to me to
          read a statement like "Texas seceded from the Union."
          I wanted to jump up and shout, "No, it didn't either.
          Texans seceded from the Union." Biographies gave me
          back the people. A second reason for my becoming
          interested in genealogy was the section of genetics in
          my high school biology book. I was intrigued by the
          musical Mozart family and began to wonder who I might
          be like in my own family and who other people were
          like and how could I find out. Whatever else, I guess
          I am more like the character (a fiction, of course)
          from The Wonder Years. I seem to ask questions that
          others rarely ask and to wonder about things where
          others hardly bat an eye. I used to think I must be
          naive! If I were not, then why do I always ask
          questions or misunderstand a word someone is using.
          For example, when I graduated from high school, and
          Mama was so sick from chemotherapy and asked if I
          would take a "permanent" job for a year until my
          stepfather got established in his medical practice, I
          was inwardly devastated while readily agreeing to her
          request. I thought that applying for a "permanent" job
          meant that I was committing myself for life even
          though Mama had said I could resign whenever I wished.
          I felt that to do so would be getting a job by telling
          a lie. I remember walking the streets alone as I went
          from job interview to job interview and feeling so sad
          and terribly betrayed at finding the world a far
          different place than I had always thought--thinking
          that I could never trust grown-ups because what they
          said was not what they meant. If it's not "permanent,"
          then why call it permanent. There must be a catch
          somewhere, and I was desperately afraid that it would
          catch up with me. It was like signing my life away,
          every dream I'd ever had, but I knew that Mama was
          very sick and might not live, and I could do no less
          for her and my younger brothers and sister than to
          make sure they were cared for. Though later than I had
          planned, I did get to go to college, but those years
          between high school and college made me appreciate the
          chance I got and determined to make the most of my
          wonderful opportunity. Later, Carol
          --- Paula Baker <paulabaker69@...> wrote:
          > Please include the second one in her genealogy too.
          > You are one of those
          > natural writers who probably doesn't realize it. I
          > taught gifted children
          > for 13 years. You need to write the story of your
          > mother and publish it.
          >
          >
          >
          > Paula Anne Baker
          > paulabaker69@...
          > Researching BAKER, MANNING, TYSON, STOCKS AND OTHERS
          > in Pitt County NC and
          > Greene County NC
          > and COLE, NORMAN, WHITE, SUTTON AND OTHERS in SC,
          > GA, and LA
          >
          >
          _________________________________________________________________
          > Add photos to your e-mail with MSN 8. Get 2 months
          > FREE*.
          > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail
          >
          >


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