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  • Debbie Petrides
    Genealogy Research Club - A forum for genealogy information exchange!Things are moving so quickly it s hard to keep up. And I learned a lesson today, even
    Message 1 of 6 , Jun 3, 2008
      Genealogy Research Club - A forum for genealogy information exchange!Things are moving so quickly it's hard to keep up.
      And I learned a lesson today, even though you think you've got a family figured out, the second you get complacent about them, something comes up to bite you.
      Today, I went to the courthouse in Athens to pick up the 7 family wills I had ordered. In that stack was the will of my 3rd great-grandfather's brother Mr. Casanova.
      Now, I was hoping in there he mentioned his mother's name but no such luck. However, there was something in there that blew me away and taught me, never never never assume. About 2 years ago, I had pretty much completed Ioannis line. I had even met his grandson (who happens to be 2nd cousins w/ my great-grandma just much younger). Everything in my mind was proven. Well, the will mentioned his heirs. His wife, no surprise but his son (who we were aware of) was adopted!!
      Isn't that just like murphy's law? The deceased's grandson was so very excited and truly showed no awareness all this time about the fact that his father was adopted. And today (before I actually read the will) when I spoke to his wife she couldn't wait to read it. And now, I absolutely do not want to spring this on them.
      If it comes down to it, I'll just tell them the old Greek in cursive script was just to difficult for me to read. I'll make them a copy if they ask and play dumb and lay low I guess. What a mess eh?

      but as I said to my friend, it's nice to trim down the tree sometimes especially after such an unlikely and lucky discovery
      (the man in the will lived from 1846-1927)

      Good Luck all!
      Deb

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Diane S
      Deb - You wouldn t lie to them would you? Every man and/or woman has a right to know their heritage even if they were adopted. My two oldest children grew up
      Message 2 of 6 , Jun 4, 2008
        Deb -
        You wouldn't lie to them would you? Every man and/or woman has a right to know their heritage even if they were adopted. My two oldest children grew up knowing they were adopted - that their father, a handsome Airborne Ranger 1st Lt. had died a terribly tragic death not long after our daughter was born. I told them stories and kept his memories alive in them! And now I am doing their genealogy - they need to know for health reasons... and they need to pass it down... Knowing they were adopted by my 2nd husband by now means diminishes the love they feel for him, and his parents... but I have to keep the love alive for their father since they really did not remember him - and he was well worth remembering. I show them photos of him feeding or changing or holding them when they were babies. I tell them how their father rode home from the hospital with tiny fingers wrapped around his thumb. Yes, they must know this young man, my beloved and devoted husband, who died too young.
        It is only fair.
        Diane S

        Genealogy Research Club - A forum for genealogy information exchange!Things are moving so quickly it's hard to keep up.
        And I learned a lesson today, even though you think you've got a family figured out, the second you get complacent about them, something comes up to bite you.
        Today, I went to the courthouse in Athens to pick up the 7 family wills I had ordered. In that stack was the will of my 3rd great-grandfather's brother Mr. Casanova.
        Now, I was hoping in there he mentioned his mother's name but no such luck. However, there was something in there that blew me away and taught me, never never never assume. About 2 years ago, I had pretty much completed Ioannis line. I had even met his grandson (who happens to be 2nd cousins w/ my great-grandma just much younger). Everything in my mind was proven. Well, the will mentioned his heirs. His wife, no surprise but his son (who we were aware of) was adopted!!
        Isn't that just like murphy's law? The deceased's grandson was so very excited and truly showed no awareness all this time about the fact that his father was adopted. And today (before I actually read the will) when I spoke to his wife she couldn't wait to read it. And now, I absolutely do not want to spring this on them.
        If it comes down to it, I'll just tell them the old Greek in cursive script was just to difficult for me to read. I'll make them a copy if they ask and play dumb and lay low I guess. What a mess eh?

        but as I said to my friend, it's nice to trim down the tree sometimes especially after such an unlikely and lucky discovery
        (the man in the will lived from 1846-1927)

        Good Luck all!
        Deb

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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      • pinidion
        Am feeling it s not my place to be the one to tell them as I don t know what their reaction will be. It s one of those issues that I was told could come up in
        Message 3 of 6 , Jun 4, 2008
          Am feeling it's not my place to be the one to tell them as I don't know
          what their reaction will be. It's one of those issues that I was told
          could come up in genealogy but have never experienced. Now, if they
          were lifelong friends and not just recent family I met, it would be
          alot easier. My parents told me to just be honest (which is half true)
          and say that I couldn't read any of it and mail them a photocopy so
          they can read it themselves. Wonder what dear Abby would say.
          Needless to say, I'm upset. Not from the genealogy standpoint, nor
          from the knowledge of this, but because I imagine they may be upset and
          I hate to be responsible for this.
        • Tina Stedman
          I had a similar thing happen to my family. I was researching my grandfather s family. He was put in an orphanage along with 3 of his 4 siblings. As I
          Message 4 of 6 , Jun 4, 2008
            I had a similar thing happen to my family. I was researching my
            grandfather's family. He was put in an orphanage along with 3 of his
            4 siblings. As I started researching the family, I found a prior wife
            and 3 more children. When I asked my grandfather about it and showed
            him, he was upset and that he did not have any other sisters. I never
            discussed that with him again but have told the rest of the family.

            Your relatives may not react this way but may be curious as to where
            they did come from. I would tell them that you have found some
            interesting information and here it is. Then send them a copy for
            them to see and review. If they do not wish to know more then leave
            it at that and continue a friendship without that part. You can
            always research and not tell them. Some day, they or their children
            may ask if you have discovered more about it.

            Good Luck.

            Tina
          • Chris sparks
            I have a similar thing that happened to me. I found a cenus record showing my gggrandfather as being adopted. I told my aunt and we looking into it. Thing is a
            Message 5 of 6 , Jun 4, 2008
              I have a similar thing that happened to me. I found a cenus record showing my gggrandfather as being adopted. I told my aunt and we looking into it. Thing is a Taylor lady married a Taylor. We think she was married to a Taylor then married another Taylor and he adopted the son. We may still be Taylors but a different branch.




              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • Laura
              Have also been there & done that. When I first started researching, I sent away for my maternal Grandfather s birth cert from Scotland. I received a letter
              Message 6 of 6 , Jun 5, 2008
                Have also been there & done that.

                When I first started researching, I sent away for my maternal
                Grandfather's birth cert from Scotland. I received a letter stating
                that they could find no such person.

                Turned out the person, my mother thought was her 'aunt' all her
                life, had actually been her Grandmother. And the person she thought
                was her Grandmother was actually her GGrandmother.

                Whew, not what I expected and I was very nervous about telling her.
                (My mother is 80 yrs old)

                --- In genealogyresearchclub@yahoogroups.com, "Debbie Petrides"
                <petrides@...> wrote:
                >
                > Genealogy Research Club - A forum for genealogy information
                exchange!Things are moving so quickly it's hard to keep up.
                > And I learned a lesson today, even though you think you've got a
                family figured out, the second you get complacent about them,
                something comes up to bite you.
                > Today, I went to the courthouse in Athens to pick up the 7 family
                wills I had ordered. In that stack was the will of my 3rd great-
                grandfather's brother Mr. Casanova.
                > Now, I was hoping in there he mentioned his mother's name but no
                such luck. However, there was something in there that blew me away
                and taught me, never never never assume. About 2 years ago, I had
                pretty much completed Ioannis line. I had even met his grandson (who
                happens to be 2nd cousins w/ my great-grandma just much younger).
                Everything in my mind was proven. Well, the will mentioned his
                heirs. His wife, no surprise but his son (who we were aware of) was
                adopted!!
                > Isn't that just like murphy's law? The deceased's grandson was so
                very excited and truly showed no awareness all this time about the
                fact that his father was adopted. And today (before I actually read
                the will) when I spoke to his wife she couldn't wait to read it.
                And now, I absolutely do not want to spring this on them.
                > If it comes down to it, I'll just tell them the old Greek in
                cursive script was just to difficult for me to read. I'll make them
                a copy if they ask and play dumb and lay low I guess. What a mess
                eh?
                >
                > but as I said to my friend, it's nice to trim down the tree
                sometimes especially after such an unlikely and lucky discovery
                > (the man in the will lived from 1846-1927)
                >
                > Good Luck all!
                > Deb
                >
                > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                >
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