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Another Year ... Another Resolution ...

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  • ridgeet roy
    I washed my cum off my tummy and waited for the sticky skin to dry. As I lay there waiting, thoughts rushed across my mind... Should I leave now? Should I
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 30, 2005
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      I washed my cum off my tummy and waited for the sticky skin to dry. As I lay there waiting, thoughts rushed across my mind... Should I leave now? Should I stay? I did agree to stay, but ...
       
      As I turned around to face him, I noticed his hairy, well curved chest was pulsating with his every breath... he was breathing heavily ... and was in a far-away land ...
       
      No. No Aerosmith song played in my mind. Just that age old dilemna... that hurry to sneak out... and leave it all behind...
       
      After all, it was just meant to be like this... one time... no matter how insisting he is to meet every night ... Come on... you cannot believe everything at the heights of passion... they just dont mean anything ...
       
      And it didnt mean anything this time either...
       
      And so I dressed carefully and sneaked out... The door had to be banged shut.. I just stood there with a clenched face... hoping he wouldnt wake up ... and then realised the front gate was locked... well... jump the wall ...
       
      As I walked back on the lonely, cold roads of Koramangala in Bangalore (India), I kept thinking whether I did the right thing ... I had done it before ... I had promised myself to spend one night ... whole night ... with someone like these guys .. but have still failed ... And I walked back to my hostel...
       
      My heart just didnt listen ... so i left him an sms ... and then a fog surrounded me ... and I felt the sound of a bike behind me ... and I turned around .. and there was him ...
       
      And as I turned around ... I saw the dusty roads of the 4th block... and another failed search ...
       
      ....
       
      This has been a fantastic year ... I started with a bleeding heart ... again making the mistake of falling in love with a classmate who was in love with my rival...
       
      and then there was growing up ... learning to build a life outside college .. and meeting new people .. making a carreer .. learning so much ...
       
      and then one night... in a moment where loneliness just wouldnt be beared ... came out "2 Guys Dating" ... and 42 other articles later, I find myself back to the start ... that same emptiness that drove me to start writing ...
       
      But then I realise that there is more to worry about .. and so work and more work ... and write .. every thought .. every moment .. every feeling ... and read and hope that one day ...
       
      And now another year comes to an end ... Still debating whether to leave for Mumbai tomorrow .. that would mean not attending the party at Aura ... well, not that it was something to look for .. but still ... it was something that I did wanted to look for.... but then life doesnt always agree ... right !
       
      So its time .... another resolution ... only I dont know what it would be ... cause they seem so meaningless ... I had no idea I would be in bed with this guy just 2 hours back .. and yet ...
       
      And yet the heart overpowers to make resolutions ... so ...
       
      Wishing you all a very happy 2006... let this year bring you a lot more Joy and Success ... for those who look for fun ...and for those who also look for fun... and the other ones ... for all...
       
      Lots of love ...
       
      Rij
       


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