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Father and Son

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  • ridgeet roy
    Does you being gay question your father s manliness? ... Very recently I came across this disturbing question on of the groups I have recently been advised to
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 4, 2005
      Does you being gay question your father's manliness?
      Very recently I came across this disturbing question on of the groups I have recently been advised to become a member (though I realised I created a mistake by joining one of them as my One Sky Series didnt comply with the theme of the group, anyway...), and I was amazed to listen to this guy babbling about men gene X, gene Y and traits, and some other complicated explanation I just could not follow. What left me worried after the whole conversation was - does it have any social implication.
      From time immortal men are known as Momma's boy. Not always true I tell you, but its a natural tendency; call it a Freudian theory, that men are more favoured towards their moms, while women to their dads. But then does one being gay or lesbian question our parentage in any way? And if it does, isnt it baseless.
      I dont know genetic explanation, but just think about it - how can my sexual preferences, though probably derived from my line of blood or childhood experiences, have a direct connection to my dad? Though somebody did argue that the trait needs to be present in atleast one of the family members, maybe this would explain to some people who had reacted negatively to my article on child abuse. But whatever it is, isnt it still a matter of my own choice, genetic combination, god's grace (whatever you tend to believe).
      And if it is what society tends to believe, its sad to feel what a parent might go through the first few moments. Can this be a hindering factor for a father to accept that his son is gay. After all, men have lots of egos to satisfy (right!), and for some reason, a straight men would definitely have issues about it, unless he is a liberal. But thats so rare. Would you, as a gay parent, then prepare openly to have a gay child?
      For those who are coming out, remember that living in a closet is suffocating. But please dont classify your parents hesitation, protests, anger while this process as unrealistic, cold or otherwise. As it is hard for you, so it is difficult for them. After all, when their hopes and dreams for you change all of a sudden, they themselve would need some time to adjust too.
      But the good part is - with your help, they can dream again. And this time in the right direction.

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