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One Sky - Chapter 3 : Between Love and Lust

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  • ridgeet roy
    Between Love and Lust “It was easy in the beginning you see. There was an appeal. I just dunno why but I don’t seem to feel the same way. I know I sound
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 3, 2005

      Between Love and Lust


      “It was easy in the beginning you see. There was an appeal. I just dunno why but I don’t seem to feel the same way. I know I sound like a jerk but that’s what it is.”


      “Have you tried something else? I mean like a romantic getaway, or a different approach to making love.”


      An awkward pause followed. I wondered if I had struck an offensive chord. Urmi began to count as I patiently waited for a response from my distressed caller or for her to signal me to move on to the next one. Dead air on FM is just not wanted.


      “Well I guess we have lost our friend there. If you are still listening or anyone else having the same problem, my advice would be to hang in there. It is quite natural to feel stagnated after a while in your marital life. I suggest some kind of a change. Try a vacation, or a candlelight dinner, or visit those places that used to spice up things when you two first met… places that will bring back memories, at times that helps. And then you can always heat up your sex life by following …”




      “All I am saying is that it was ok till the romantic getaway part. You could have omitted the reference to sex.”


      Jai was trying to explain me the grievances of having a open air discussion about someone’s sex life. Apparently my reference to sex toys and role plays had generated some sort of unrest. I am yet to know how and where, and I sat in my producer’s office, determined to fight my case to the end.


      “This is ridiculous. Of course the main problem in the guy’s life is sex. It was evident. There was no action, especially after the second child. And it is a common problem in many marital situations. And obviously I have to refer to the same. And it is so childish if people are frowning to the reference of role plays and sex toys…”


      “This is not US. It’s India. Do you know what can be the implications if we continue like this? I believe this must have already started a discussion everywhere. I have already received calls from BT and DH.”


      “So what do you want me to do Jai? I am a counselor. I did what I thought was right.”


      Firoza had told me that the pink rose plant that was kept near the window in Jai’s cabin was an anniversary gift from his wife Krittika. Jai had his back towards me but I could make out that his eyes were fixed on the plant. There was no rose in it now. What was he thinking?


      “Please remember that we are being heard by people. And by that I mean the entire English knowing educated crowd of Bangalore. We have just begun. This kind of publicity can be a boon…” he paused,” or a bane.”




      Jai turned and faced me. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable. Jai had his eyes fixed on me. His face was expressionless. But his sharp gaze just seemed to pierce my very heart. What was he trying to gauge?


      Suddenly he moved back to his seat. Instead of sitting down he picked up his phone and dialed some numbers. I waited for a response. But he stood quietly with the receiver in his hand. Now what the hell was wrong?


      “Go ahead.”




      Jai smiled at me.


      “Sorry for what I had said. I just became a bit paranoid, I guess. You were right. Absolutely right. You are a counselor. You did what you had to do.”


      “What about the public opinion?”


      Jai gave a mischievous grin. It just made him look cuter. No! Stop Thinking! Stop Thinking Now!


      “Well publicity is what we need.”


      “I thought you said this kind of publicity could be dangerous.”


      “Ya! But I know how to handle it. You trust me don’t you?”


      Sometimes in life you are faced with situations that seem so ironic. You wait for something and then you get it, but you know you are still far from getting it. Its so …


      “You are the boss. You know best.” Was all I could say.


      “That’s my boy.” Jai went back to his phone.


      Taking that as my cue to leave, I turned around and headed for the door. I was about to step out when suddenly Jai asked me, “You really meant what you had said, right?”


      I faced him, quite surprised by this strange question.


      “What are you referring to?”


      Jai was looking at his papers kept neatly on his desk.


      “There is no alternative to love. One can find ways to spend time in a different way with their partner, but that’s just a way of rekindling lust. Love is already there.That is the reason why one strives to make their partner happy. If you are wondering whether you satisfy your partner, it’s only because you love her. Unless of course you are afraid of her talking about it to her friends; but that would be just another human insecurity. You are scared because you love her so much that you do not wish to fall from her fascination. The fact that you are calling me and asking for advice shows how much you still care for her.”


      I wondered why he quoted my words from this morning.


      Jai smiled at me and said,”I think that was a really wonderful thing you said. There is no alternative to love”


      “I know.”




      As I walked towards the bus stand I wondered what I had said. I did mean it. I looked around trying to figure out what everyone around me felt. No body seems to be bothered. I wondered how many of them had even heard my advice this morning.


      As I stood waiting for the bus I thought what the guy was doing. Did I offend him? Did I embarrass him? What if his friends and family were also listening? What if his wife was also listening? How they must have felt when they heard that he was feeling that he was loosing the love for her. I shuddered at the thought. I did something wrong! Maybe this whole idea of radio counseling is just absurd.


      “Excuse me!”


      I turned at the voice. A young man was standing next to me.


      “Are you by any chance Dr. Sajan Grewal, from Radio City


      Ok. What does he want? I just nervously looked at him. All of a sudden I was not so sure of things.




      “I thought so. I mean I had gone to your office to meet you but they said you left. From the description I could make you out.”


      “Are you from some newspaper?”


      “No! No!” The man laughed. “I just wanted you to know that I felt you did a great job this morning.”




      “Ya! I had to thank you.”




      The man hesitated for a second. Then he smiled.


      “I too had a similar problem. My wif e and I have been married for 5 years now. We love each other from college. But somehow things have not been so great lately. Your words this morning just made me think. Even she heard the same. So we both happened to agree to follow your advice. I just thought I should thank you and congratulate you for being so bold.”


      “Thank you. I am glad I could help. Best of luck.”


      “Thank you! Please take care.”


      As I watched him heading towards a parked car, I wondered if it was just a dream. Was he the same guy? I would never know.


      This was so strange. Here I was wondering whether I was doing the right thing, and there he was, suddenly bringing hope. Hope that love still exists. Two souls who had once fallen in love at college and had decided to spend the rest of their lives together, loosing the passion that had once ruled their heart over the course of time, coming back to give each other another try. It has to be love. Lust can only be a mean, a way. It can express love, or it can be used to hurt too. Lust can satisfy our desires, bring satisfaction to our carnal appetite. But eventually it has to be love that brings the sense of fulfillment.


      I guess we are all caught between this web of love and lust. We complicate our lives by failing to understand the difference between the two; in giving them their correct position. But we are only human after all.






      “Hi Jai! What happened?”


      “Nothing! Just wanted to check if you would be free for lunch today.”


      “All of a sudden! Is it some sort of a celebration? Hey is it regarding your new counseling show. Giving a party, is it?”


      “No. It’s just for you, Krit. Just for you and me.”



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