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Feb. 27, 2009
Even animal lovers will admit that animals can be a real
pain sometimes. Like a flower that has taken over the garden, an animal in the
wrong place must often be removed. In this letter I hope to acquaint you with
some of the latest research and experiments that I have been discovering.
Several years ago,
I told a customer of mine to play rap music or heavy metal through an old
radio, in his attic, to get rid of some squirrels. There wasn’t much point in
me trapping the squirrels in there with hardware cloth and carpentry repairs,
as they would just chew their way out again. He tried it. It worked, and I still can’t remember if I read it somewhere
, or just thunk it up. I believe that this will also work for raccoons .
Did you know that
my kids don’t like it when I call Rap and Metal, “squirrel chaser” music? It’s
funny, but true, and they won’t admit that it works (poor babies).
really amazing animals. They deserve all of the criticism they normally get for
being generally squirrely and foolish, yet they outwit us! It made me feel a
bit foolish when it was squirrels four, and Michael 0 there for a while. They
were able to get around, or jump over, or jump up to, every obstruction that I
put between them and the bird feeder (they can eat so much that one soon tires
of filling the feeder).
My wife swears that
she saw one squirrel hanging by its hind feet from a branch, while holding the
hind feet of another squirrel. Squirrel two was buisy shoving seeds out of the
bird feeder, so they could both jump down and eat. With acrobatic power like
that, I feel that I made a real accomplishment when I was able to finally and
completely keep them off my bird feeder. In fact, I spent lots of time watching
these amazing creatures and how they accomplished their acts of thievery. They
are really so cute.
After trying out
various obstructions mounted on the wire that suspends my bird feeder, I found
that a one gallon clear plastic water jug is just the right size to prevent
these villainous creatures from over-arming it upside-down, inching on out the
wire. It is just too big for them to get around. They were just jumping over it
for a while there (from a running start off my porch roof). But when I moved
the jug farther out, that was it, no more squirrel problems.
I searched the web,
and only found putting small soda bottles on the wire (which they admitted
didn’t work too well). Also I found a variety of nifty devices costing $40 on
up, but nothing simple like I figured out (“You are a genius Gump!”).
All of my deer
researches have led me to believe that you need a nine foot tall fence to keep
them out (or a dog!). Dogs chase deer, and they really don’t like that.
I know of a group
garden with a four foot high fence and no deer, because they have their dogs in
there all the time, and the deer can smell it.
You can get away
with a six foot fence, if a wire 18 inches high, is placed out from the fence
about two feet. This prevents a running jump. Tall plantings inside the fence
will keep them from seeing what’s inside, and also where they will land
(perhaps making it seem too dangerous to them).
Lion manure, dog
manure, human urine, certain herbs, etc., will repel deer, but need to get
replenished, and don’t always work. Supposedly deer proof plants are constantly
being added to the deer menu. Many die hard gardeners have just given up.
In the northern
states, they overgraze, and die of starvation. The animal rights people raise a
holy rucus about shooting them, and then provide no solutions! Deer are far
more dangerous that rats (also a mammal). Lyme disease, scary as it seems, is
very common, and when is the last time you heard of the plague? A deer can also
devastate a garden, they cause untold economic damage. They are a pest (and
tasty, too, more nutritious than beef, also a mammal).
By building a
fence, feeding the deer there, and gradually putting in a one -way gate, many
could be trapped, easily, to feed the hungry. Trapping is always more effective
deer could be left in the custody of the animal rights people to be cared for.
Lots of people around the world raise them as pets and for food.
All of the stray
animals in America should be shipped to China, where cats and dogs are
appreciated even more than they are here. In fact, rats can be trapped in the
cities, and sent to any country that eats them.
In the same light,
the kudzu that ate the south could be harvested by Chinamen, and sent back
home. They eat the roots, and digging up the roots is practically the only way
to stop kudzu.
While still on the
subject of Chinamen, the water hyacinths that clog the waterways of the south
could be harvested, and turned into bio-gas, as the Chinese do, then you also
get a compost (only good for ornamentals, as hyacinths extract heavy metals
from the water).
As a last word on
deer proofing a garden, I intend to set up a radio that will play Rap or Metal
for them at feeding time, or maybe the sound of a dog barking.
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