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Re: deer

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  • Michael Meredith
    ________________________________ Animal Control By Michael Meredith All rights reserved Feb. 27, 2009 Even animal lovers will admit that animals can be a real
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 27, 2009

      Animal Control

      By Michael
      All rights reserved
      Feb. 27, 2009

      Even animal lovers will admit that animals can be a real
      pain sometimes. Like a flower that has taken over the garden, an animal in the
      wrong place must often be removed. In this letter I hope to acquaint you with
      some of the latest research and experiments that I have been discovering.

      Several years ago,
      I told a customer of mine to play rap music or heavy metal through an old
      radio, in his attic, to get rid of some squirrels. There wasn’t much point in
      me trapping the squirrels in there with hardware cloth and carpentry repairs,
      as they would just chew their way out again. He tried it. It worked, and I still can’t remember if I read it somewhere
      , or just thunk it up. I believe that this will also work for raccoons .
      Did you know that
      my kids don’t like it when I call Rap and Metal, “squirrel chaser” music? It’s
      funny, but true, and they won’t admit that it works (poor babies).

      Squirrels are
      really amazing animals. They deserve all of the criticism they normally get for
      being generally squirrely and foolish, yet they outwit us! It made me feel a
      bit foolish when it was squirrels four, and Michael 0 there for a while. They
      were able to get around, or jump over, or jump up to, every obstruction that I
      put between them and the bird feeder (they can eat so much that one soon tires
      of filling the feeder).
      My wife swears that
      she saw one squirrel hanging by its hind feet from a branch, while holding the
      hind feet of another squirrel. Squirrel two was buisy shoving seeds out of the
      bird feeder, so they could both jump down and eat. With acrobatic power like
      that, I feel that I made a real accomplishment when I was able to finally and
      completely keep them off my bird feeder. In fact, I spent lots of time watching
      these amazing creatures and how they accomplished their acts of thievery. They
      are really so cute.
      After trying out
      various obstructions mounted on the wire that suspends my bird feeder, I found
      that a one gallon clear plastic water jug is just the right size to prevent
      these villainous creatures from over-arming it upside-down, inching on out the
      wire. It is just too big for them to get around. They were just jumping over it
      for a while there (from a running start off my porch roof). But when I moved
      the jug farther out, that was it, no more squirrel problems.

      I searched the web,
      and only found putting small soda bottles on the wire (which they admitted
      didn’t work too well). Also I found a variety of nifty devices costing $40 on
      up, but nothing simple like I figured out (“You are a genius Gump!”).

      All of my deer
      researches have led me to believe that you need a nine foot tall fence to keep
      them out (or a dog!). Dogs chase deer, and they really don’t like that.
      I know of a group
      garden with a four foot high fence and no deer, because they have their dogs in
      there all the time, and the deer can smell it.
      You can get away
      with a six foot fence, if a wire 18 inches high, is placed out from the fence
      about two feet. This prevents a running jump. Tall plantings inside the fence
      will keep them from seeing what’s inside, and also where they will land
      (perhaps making it seem too dangerous to them).
      Lion manure, dog
      manure, human urine, certain herbs, etc., will repel deer, but need to get
      replenished, and don’t always work. Supposedly deer proof plants are constantly
      being added to the deer menu. Many die hard gardeners have just given up.
      In the northern
      states, they overgraze, and die of starvation. The animal rights people raise a
      holy rucus about shooting them, and then provide no solutions! Deer are far
      more dangerous that rats (also a mammal). Lyme disease, scary as it seems, is
      very common, and when is the last time you heard of the plague? A deer can also
      devastate a garden, they cause untold economic damage. They are a pest (and
      tasty, too, more nutritious than beef, also a mammal).
      By building a
      fence, feeding the deer there, and gradually putting in a one -way gate, many
      could be trapped, easily, to feed the hungry. Trapping is always more effective
      than hunting.
      Alternatively, the
      deer could be left in the custody of the animal rights people to be cared for.
      Lots of people around the world raise them as pets and for food.

      All of the stray
      animals in America should be shipped to China, where cats and dogs are
      appreciated even more than they are here. In fact, rats can be trapped in the
      cities, and sent to any country that eats them.
      In the same light,
      the kudzu that ate the south could be harvested by Chinamen, and sent back
      home. They eat the roots, and digging up the roots is practically the only way
      to stop kudzu.

      While still on the
      subject of Chinamen, the water hyacinths that clog the waterways of the south
      could be harvested, and turned into bio-gas, as the Chinese do, then you also
      get a compost (only good for ornamentals, as hyacinths extract heavy metals
      from the water).

      As a last word on
      deer proofing a garden, I intend to set up a radio that will play Rap or Metal
      for them at feeding time, or maybe the sound of a dog barking.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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