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Re: Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008

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  • Jeff
    A couple more Bartering you have 2 cows you hack a leg off to get some hay for your cows you have one cow, too much hay, and a bunch of meet that will go bad
    Message 1 of 3 , Jan 23, 2008
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      A couple more

      Bartering
      you have 2 cows
      you hack a leg off to get some hay for your cows
      you have one cow, too much hay, and a bunch of meet that will go bad
      quickly

      Vegetarianism
      you have one cow, you fight it for the alfalfa
      and steal its milk


      A small scale (american) dairy
      you have 2 cows,
      the USDA orders you to get more so they can license you
      you still have 2 cows and you can't sell your milk

      A small scale cattle operation (american)
      you have 2 cows,
      they live forever because you can't kill them on your farm

      A small European dairy
      you have 2 cows, some goats and maybe a sheep
      you sell specialty products that taste better than anything the
      americans can produce, and you get to charge three times and much and
      people gladly pay the difference, your Trademark/brand name is
      protected based on where you live, not because you patented it

      a western american cattle operation
      you have 100,000 cattle, you lose %5, you blame the wolves
      you lease 1,000,000 public land acres for half the cost you could
      graze your own, the tax payers pick up the tab for new fences, you
      overgraze creating a sagebrush desert, and open a prarie dog hunt
      operation, you sell you cattle at record highs, you sell your land to
      hollywood actors and you retire rich, then hire yourself out as a
      consultant on how to feed and ride horses.

      African herdsman
      you have two cows,
      the bull you bleed once every two weeks for a nutritious drink
      the cow you milk daily,
      you are eaten by a lion while drinking your concoction by the only
      watering hole for miles

      Innuit
      you have two cows, they are actually whales

      Japenese cattle (Kobe)
      you have two cows
      you treat them better than you treat most people






      --- In fukuoka_farming@yahoogroups.com, Robert Monie <bobm20001@...>
      wrote:
      >
      > Good job, but you forgot one.
      >
      > VEGANISM
      >
      > You have no cows.
      > You drink soy or almond milk.
      >
      >
      > Bob Monie
      > New Orleans, LA
      >
      > parmbir <parm1245@...> wrote:
      > Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008
      >
      > SOCIALISM
      > You have 2 cows.
      > You give one to your neighbour.
      >
      > COMMUNISM
      > You have 2 cows.
      > The State takes both and gives you some milk.
      >
      > FASCISM
      > You have 2 cows.
      > The State takes both and sells you some milk.
      >
      > NAZISM
      > You have 2 cows.
      > The State takes both and shoots you.
      >
      > BUREAUCRATISM
      > You have 2 cows.
      > The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
      > the milk away.
      >
      > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
      > You have two cows.
      > You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy
      > grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
      >
      > SURREALISM
      > You have two giraffes.
      > The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
      >
      > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
      > Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
      >
      > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
      > You have two cows.
      > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
      > letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
      > execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
      > you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The
      > milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
      > Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
      > sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
      > The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option n
      > one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
      > States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with
      > the release. The public then buys your bull.
      >
      > THE ANDERSEN MODEL
      > You have two cows.
      > You shred them.
      >
      > A FRENCH CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
      > want three cows.
      >
      > A JAPANESE CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
      > and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow
      > cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
      >
      > A GERMAN CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
      > and milk themselves.
      >
      > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
      > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
      > You decide to have lunch.
      >
      > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You count them and learn you have five cows.
      > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
      > again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open
      > another bottle of vodka.
      >
      > A SWISS CORPORATION
      > You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
      > You charge the owners for storing them.
      >
      > A CHINESE CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full
      > employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who
      > reported the real situation.
      >
      > AN INDIAN CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > You worship them.
      >
      > A BRITISH CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > Both are mad.
      >
      > AN IRAQI CORPORATION
      > Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
      > You tell them that you have none.
      > No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade our
      > country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
      > Democracy.
      >
      > A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few
      > beers to celebrate.
      >
      > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
      > You have two cows.
      > The one on the left looks kinda cute.
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      >
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