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650Miriam [fruitabuparents] Re: I need help please

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  • sunflowercurlz
    Apr 30, 2008
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      --- In fruitabuparents@yahoogroups.com, "MeLaNeY group"
      <melaneygroups@...> wrote:
      >
      > Hi all,
      >
      > Thank you for replying to my email ... *smile*
      >
      > Miriam, thank you for replying and helping. I have to give a bit
      more
      > background on this issue .... I recently broke up with my extremely
      abusive
      > partner and father of my little one.
      >
      > I am a 47 year old mum and raised 3 other children, son 25,
      daughter 22, son
      > 17.
      >
      > He never had any trouble with the way she looked, and yes she is
      taller than
      > most her age, but I am tall 1.73 m and he is over 6ft. Neither of
      us are
      > very skinny. I had to get a restraining order out against him in
      January
      > because of the emotional/verbal abuse my kids and I suffered.
      >
      > So last week at the 2nd part of the restraining order, my lawyer
      told me he
      > said to his lawyer that he is oh so concerned about my 3 year old's
      > weight!!!! urghhh, he hasnt seen her in 4 months ... and she is NOT
      that
      > overweight... not like the kids we see on tv.
      >
      > I know where this is going to ... he is an alcoholic and denies
      it ... goes
      > thru 14 cans every single day, weekends more ... I have never had
      even a
      > glass of wine in my life nor any drugs, so I suppose this is what
      he is
      > going to throw at me when it goes to Family Court one day.
      >
      > Also, he called her on Sunday eve, she was having dinner, and he
      asked her
      > what she was eating, she said chicken, he then asked her if we did
      go and
      > get it so she said NO! mommy made it ... and I did ....!!! I had
      the speaker
      > phone on, so I knew why he asked that question.
      >
      > Bear in mind that I don't have money for take aways and stuff .....
      maybe
      > once in 2 months my son will ask for a treat and if we have some
      cash we
      > will get something.
      >
      > When the ex and I lived together he was always on about how tight I
      was with
      > money and take away foods.
      >
      > urghhhh
      >
      > Now I worry myself sick about these rediculous childish accusations
      he tries
      > to thro at me.
      >
      > xxxxxx
      >
      >
      >
      > > Hi All from Melbourne, Australia
      > >
      > > I have a 3 and a half year old beautiful little girl. I almost
      hate
      > to type the word, but she is overweight. Nowadays it's like she
      wants
      > to eat all the time - never getting enough. I dont bake cakes or
      > cookies or even buy lollies anymore - She is allergic to something
      in
      > chocolates so we never give her any of that. The occassional jelly
      > lollie. She doesn't want to drink water anymore only cordials. She
      > loves bananas and broccoli, chicken, lettuce. I don't know actually
      > why she is overweight because she is busy little thingy, runs around
      > and always on the go.
      > >
      > > sigh
      > >
      > Hi 'from Melbourne', how are u ?
      > The first question to ask is what makes u think your daughter is
      > overweight? The height/ weight/ age guide is just that, a guide! We
      > are not cookie cutter people! We are all indivduals!
      >
      > Most toddlers have a belly on them! My niece has a pot belly and a
      > bit fatter legs than most girls her age but she is also taller than
      > most girls her age! And I've never heard her say 'no' when offered
      > food! (she's 4.5 and as tall as my 7 y/o nephew).
      >
      > If she's not having much 'treat/ processed/ sugary/ fatty 'foods
      then
      > I wonder where the KJs are coming from?
      > Perhaps she has an intollerance to a certain kind of food/s and
      can't
      > digest them properly?
      >
      > My sister gives the kids 1/2 juice, 1/2 water, milk or watery
      > cordial, to drink. Ice cubes are a fun way to present water to kids,
      > also maybe putting a squeeze of lemon or orange or some mint leaves
      > in the water may help.
      >
      > You may think your daughter gets enough exercise or you may want to
      > include some 'formal but fun' exercise such as dance classes,
      > rollerskating/ rollerblading, kindy gym or such.
      >
      > The one thing I would impress on you, is too be very careful how you
      > deal with her weight issue as I am a surviver of having a mother
      with
      > a 'fat fobia' and being on a diet for as long as I can remember and
      > not my choice! I'm not and never will be a size 10. I don't
      subscribe
      > to the 'thin is beautiful' controlling agent! And weight mental
      > issues start from toddlerhood!
      >
      > Dr's may be a help but just remember that they're not god, even
      > thought they will act like they are!
      >
      > Hope this helps, Miriam
      >
      >
      > ------------------------------------
      >
      > Find out more about our organic fruit snacks at
      > http://www.FruitaBu.comYahoo! Groups Links
      >
      Hi ya, now I understand a bit better! I don't have a lot of legal
      knowledge, so it's best to ask your solicitor about this but my way
      of thinking is that if your daughter isn't eating unhealthy food,and
      exercising then you can't be blamed for this ( sorry my wording isn't
      the best!)> It sounds like he's going for the 'how can I hurt my ex'
      points! Which is painful for you and your kids get hurt too but u
      never know, perhaps his excessive alcohol consumption will come to
      light and be identified as a problem and he'll be ordered to get help.

      It's a difficult road your on but take heart! You've been very brave
      to seperate and get an AVO on him too! If u have msn messenger , u
      can add me on lee_miriam@... (I'm an Aussie too, so on after
      tea, usually). Miriam
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