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648Re: Miriam [fruitabuparents] Re: I need help please

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  • MeLaNeY group
    Apr 29, 2008
      Hi all,

      Thank you for replying to my email ... *smile*

      Miriam, thank you for replying and helping. I have to give a bit more
      background on this issue .... I recently broke up with my extremely abusive
      partner and father of my little one.

      I am a 47 year old mum and raised 3 other children, son 25, daughter 22, son

      He never had any trouble with the way she looked, and yes she is taller than
      most her age, but I am tall 1.73 m and he is over 6ft. Neither of us are
      very skinny. I had to get a restraining order out against him in January
      because of the emotional/verbal abuse my kids and I suffered.

      So last week at the 2nd part of the restraining order, my lawyer told me he
      said to his lawyer that he is oh so concerned about my 3 year old's
      weight!!!! urghhh, he hasnt seen her in 4 months ... and she is NOT that
      overweight... not like the kids we see on tv.

      I know where this is going to ... he is an alcoholic and denies it ... goes
      thru 14 cans every single day, weekends more ... I have never had even a
      glass of wine in my life nor any drugs, so I suppose this is what he is
      going to throw at me when it goes to Family Court one day.

      Also, he called her on Sunday eve, she was having dinner, and he asked her
      what she was eating, she said chicken, he then asked her if we did go and
      get it so she said NO! mommy made it ... and I did ....!!! I had the speaker
      phone on, so I knew why he asked that question.

      Bear in mind that I don't have money for take aways and stuff ..... maybe
      once in 2 months my son will ask for a treat and if we have some cash we
      will get something.

      When the ex and I lived together he was always on about how tight I was with
      money and take away foods.


      Now I worry myself sick about these rediculous childish accusations he tries
      to thro at me.


      > Hi All from Melbourne, Australia
      > I have a 3 and a half year old beautiful little girl. I almost hate
      to type the word, but she is overweight. Nowadays it's like she wants
      to eat all the time - never getting enough. I dont bake cakes or
      cookies or even buy lollies anymore - She is allergic to something in
      chocolates so we never give her any of that. The occassional jelly
      lollie. She doesn't want to drink water anymore only cordials. She
      loves bananas and broccoli, chicken, lettuce. I don't know actually
      why she is overweight because she is busy little thingy, runs around
      and always on the go.
      > sigh
      Hi 'from Melbourne', how are u ?
      The first question to ask is what makes u think your daughter is
      overweight? The height/ weight/ age guide is just that, a guide! We
      are not cookie cutter people! We are all indivduals!

      Most toddlers have a belly on them! My niece has a pot belly and a
      bit fatter legs than most girls her age but she is also taller than
      most girls her age! And I've never heard her say 'no' when offered
      food! (she's 4.5 and as tall as my 7 y/o nephew).

      If she's not having much 'treat/ processed/ sugary/ fatty 'foods then
      I wonder where the KJs are coming from?
      Perhaps she has an intollerance to a certain kind of food/s and can't
      digest them properly?

      My sister gives the kids 1/2 juice, 1/2 water, milk or watery
      cordial, to drink. Ice cubes are a fun way to present water to kids,
      also maybe putting a squeeze of lemon or orange or some mint leaves
      in the water may help.

      You may think your daughter gets enough exercise or you may want to
      include some 'formal but fun' exercise such as dance classes,
      rollerskating/ rollerblading, kindy gym or such.

      The one thing I would impress on you, is too be very careful how you
      deal with her weight issue as I am a surviver of having a mother with
      a 'fat fobia' and being on a diet for as long as I can remember and
      not my choice! I'm not and never will be a size 10. I don't subscribe
      to the 'thin is beautiful' controlling agent! And weight mental
      issues start from toddlerhood!

      Dr's may be a help but just remember that they're not god, even
      thought they will act like they are!

      Hope this helps, Miriam


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