Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

interfaith marriage

Expand Messages
  • jambolyajones
    I am a long time and devout Christian who is engaged to a Muslim. I have received so much hostility to this relationship from Christians that it disheartens
    Message 1 of 3 , Aug 15, 2003
    • 0 Attachment
      I am a long time and devout Christian who is engaged to a Muslim. I
      have received so much hostility to this relationship from Christians
      that it disheartens me about the Church. I think we need more love
      and interaction toward people of other faiths. If we are moving
      into a postmodern church, why can't the church embrace couples who
      don't fit into their traditional understanding? I try to explain to
      my fiancee that Christians don't have laws about who you can and
      can't marry, like Islam does. Yet, all she sees are close-minded
      Christians who want to break up our relationship, or convert her
      brefore marriage. I would like to hear anyone's thoughts about this
      situation.
    • Daniel Elwell
      I agree with you that we need more love and interaction toward people of other faiths and Islam is certainly one of those faiths that we need to better
      Message 2 of 3 , Aug 15, 2003
      • 0 Attachment
        I agree with you that "we need more love and interaction toward people of other faiths" and Islam is certainly one of those faiths that we need to better understand and dialog with, if only for the reason that so much of world's population is Muslim.

        That being said, can a marriage between a Christian and a Muslim person work. For that manner, can a marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian in general work? In my observation, it can, but not without a lot of work.

        Marriage is a lot of things. On one level, it is a legal arrangement, and on that basis it really doesn't matter what the couple's religious persuasion is. {As an aside, it is on this basis that most of the arguements in favor of homesexual marriage rest, but that's another topic not germane here.} But Christians (as well as followers of other religions traditions) believe that marriage is far more that a legal contract, but is rather a true spiritual union. The problem is that a mixed faith couple is going to experience the spiritual dimension of the relationship in radically different ways.

        Even in the most successful mixed-faith couples this creates a lot of stress. To deal with this, most couples do one of two things (a) they maintain a separation from each other with respect to their spiritual lives -- resulting in an intentionally more superficial relationship or (b) they demphasize the spiritual dimensions of their own lives in to keep it from being an issue.

        For most Christian communities, neither of these results is particularly satisfactory, which is probably why you are feeling their disapproval.

        I would hope that you would not mistake their lack of approval with an unloving heart, however. I would be encouraged by the fact that they want to share their faith with your fiancee. They may not be going about it in the best way, but that's another issue entirely.

        Best of luck,
        -Dan

        jambolyajones <jeffblythe@...> wrote:
        I am a long time and devout Christian who is engaged to a Muslim. I
        have received so much hostility to this relationship from Christians
        that it disheartens me about the Church. I think we need more love
        and interaction toward people of other faiths. If we are moving
        into a postmodern church, why can't the church embrace couples who
        don't fit into their traditional understanding? I try to explain to
        my fiancee that Christians don't have laws about who you can and
        can't marry, like Islam does. Yet, all she sees are close-minded
        Christians who want to break up our relationship, or convert her
        brefore marriage. I would like to hear anyone's thoughts about this
        situation.




        Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT

        You can visit the Finding Faith Yahoo groups web site to modify your
        delivery settings and review former messages @

        http://groups.yahoo.com/group/findingfaith

        Delivery Options: individual emails, 1 digest email a day, or no email (all emails avail @ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/findingfaith)

        Want to unsubscribe? Just send a blank note to findingfaith-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

        Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.




        Daniel W. Elwell

        Email: dwelwell@...


        ---------------------------------
        Do you Yahoo!?
        Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Benjamin Seaman
        I would add that it seems to me that in any relationship we always need to ask How God is glorified with that relationship - how is HIS name being praised
        Message 3 of 3 , Aug 15, 2003
        • 0 Attachment
          I would add that it seems to me that in any relationship we always need to ask How God is glorified with that relationship - how is HIS name being praised because of what you are entering into? I think that a lot of the problems many relationships face are based on the selfish way we interact in the relationship. Rather than asking what's in this relationship for me we need to ask "What's in this relationship for GOD?" The perspective shifts from me or us to GOD - where, I think it should be.
          I also think that marriage is a couple who is struggling redemptive-ly. What are you willing to sacrifice for each other (keeping in mind your faith in God)?

          I wish you discernment, wisdom, wise and gentle words and I wish you the best in your relationship.
          Ben
          ----- Original Message -----
          From: Daniel Elwell
          To: findingfaith@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Friday, August 15, 2003 1:40 PM
          Subject: Re: [findingfaith] interfaith marriage


          I agree with you that "we need more love and interaction toward people of other faiths" and Islam is certainly one of those faiths that we need to better understand and dialog with, if only for the reason that so much of world's population is Muslim.

          That being said, can a marriage between a Christian and a Muslim person work. For that manner, can a marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian in general work? In my observation, it can, but not without a lot of work.

          Marriage is a lot of things. On one level, it is a legal arrangement, and on that basis it really doesn't matter what the couple's religious persuasion is. {As an aside, it is on this basis that most of the arguements in favor of homesexual marriage rest, but that's another topic not germane here.} But Christians (as well as followers of other religions traditions) believe that marriage is far more that a legal contract, but is rather a true spiritual union. The problem is that a mixed faith couple is going to experience the spiritual dimension of the relationship in radically different ways.

          Even in the most successful mixed-faith couples this creates a lot of stress. To deal with this, most couples do one of two things (a) they maintain a separation from each other with respect to their spiritual lives -- resulting in an intentionally more superficial relationship or (b) they demphasize the spiritual dimensions of their own lives in to keep it from being an issue.

          For most Christian communities, neither of these results is particularly satisfactory, which is probably why you are feeling their disapproval.

          I would hope that you would not mistake their lack of approval with an unloving heart, however. I would be encouraged by the fact that they want to share their faith with your fiancee. They may not be going about it in the best way, but that's another issue entirely.

          Best of luck,
          -Dan

          jambolyajones <jeffblythe@...> wrote:
          I am a long time and devout Christian who is engaged to a Muslim. I
          have received so much hostility to this relationship from Christians
          that it disheartens me about the Church. I think we need more love
          and interaction toward people of other faiths. If we are moving
          into a postmodern church, why can't the church embrace couples who
          don't fit into their traditional understanding? I try to explain to
          my fiancee that Christians don't have laws about who you can and
          can't marry, like Islam does. Yet, all she sees are close-minded
          Christians who want to break up our relationship, or convert her
          brefore marriage. I would like to hear anyone's thoughts about this
          situation.




          Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT

          You can visit the Finding Faith Yahoo groups web site to modify your
          delivery settings and review former messages @

          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/findingfaith

          Delivery Options: individual emails, 1 digest email a day, or no email (all emails avail @ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/findingfaith)

          Want to unsubscribe? Just send a blank note to findingfaith-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

          Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.




          Daniel W. Elwell

          Email: dwelwell@...


          ---------------------------------
          Do you Yahoo!?
          Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software

          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



          You can visit the Finding Faith Yahoo groups web site to modify your
          delivery settings and review former messages @

          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/findingfaith

          Delivery Options: individual emails, 1 digest email a day, or no email (all emails avail @ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/findingfaith)

          Want to unsubscribe? Just send a blank note to findingfaith-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

          Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/




          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.