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Re: [FH] Wolfy, my Angel

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  • Lisa/kat
    Oh Carrie, I am in tears reading your post. You have my deepest, most heartfelt sympathy. He loved you unconditionally, and knew that you loved him the same
    Message 1 of 2 , Nov 1, 2002
      Oh Carrie, I am in tears reading your post. You have my deepest, most
      heartfelt sympathy. He loved you unconditionally, and knew that you loved
      him the same way. You did everything you could for him, I know it is
      difficult to see that right now (as I am still struggling over that one with
      Smoky), and he knows that and loves you more for it. Please don't beat
      yourself up over this; there is NOTHING to forgive, you did all you could
      for him and more, and you made the right decision for his sake. He gave you
      the gift of allowing you to hold him, and you gave him the gift of release
      from his pain. You are right that it is very difficult to accept, even
      though we are making the best possible decision for them; it is part of
      being a responsible, loving pet owner, and it is the most selfless gesture
      of love we can offer them. We, unfortunately, must decide for them when the
      time is right; and knowing when that time is is not always obvious.

      I'm writing through my tears (and around a cat) right now, I keep thinking
      there is more I can tell you to help ease your pain but I just cannot find
      the right words right now. Wolfy loved you so much, the two of you had a
      special bond of love; and love transcends death. In your love and your
      memories, he will live on. He is no longer suffering, he is happy and
      healthy once again, and is able to run and play without pain or suffering;
      he will be there at the Bridge to greet you when you arrive. I will include
      Wolfy, as well as Lynnie's Freckles, on Sunday when we have Smoky's memorial
      service at his grave. I have found quite a few poems and prayers which I
      plan to read; at the memorial, I will pick out and read one just for Wolfy,
      and I plan to do the same for Freckles; and I will let you know which one I
      used. I know it is very hard to see past the pain right now, but in a day
      or two, you may want to re-read this and the other messages you'll receive,
      and at that point you may be able to see past the pain and begin to come to
      terms with his death. The pain will be with you for a long time, but over
      the course of time the love you two shared will overtake it and you will
      find peace within yourself. Try and get some rest tonight, and know that if
      you ever need or want to talk I am here for you. You have my deepest
      sympathy Carrie.


      -------Original Message-------

      From: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Friday, November 01, 2002 11:58:19 PM
      To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: [FH] Wolfy, my Angel

      Dear List,

      My darling little Wolfy is now sleeping with the Angels.

      This is hard to write since I still have not really accepted what has
      happened, but I wanted to let you all know, and maybe I will feel better if
      I let it out.

      Last nite, Wolfy seemed to be getting much worse as the nite went on. I sat
      by him all day for the past two days and nites, watching, praying, looking
      for signs...anything. As I watched him yesterday and last nite, he seemed
      to withdraw, he did not really sleep, but layed and stared blankly. He did
      not seem very alert. His breathing was getting worse, and to me it looked
      like the little dazzling spark in his eyes was gone.

      I struggled for hours with trying to make a decision. I petted him and
      kissed him and cried over him...I told him how much I love him, how much he
      has meant to me and how special he is, how his strength has helped ME so
      much. I begged him for forgiveness if I have let him down or made the wrong
      choice. My mom and my brother were here, and they are both animal lovers
      and love Wolfy very much, and they both felt that Wolfy was ready to go on
      his next journey and that we would have to help him. I had a hard time with
      this, as I wanted so much for him to go on his own, but he is such a
      fighter, and I think he was struggling, just as I was.

      I sat alone with him and whispered to him, and for the first time, I picked
      him up and held him against my chest. I have never been able to hold Wolfy,
      as the pressure of being picked up is not good for him, but I very gently
      lifted him and I layed on the floor and layed him on my chest, and stroked
      and kissed him. I was shocked at how thin he had become, so quickly, his
      little spine actually hurt my hands as I held him, and now I understand why
      he was so uncomfortable. His little body must have hurt. Wolfy has always
      been a small cat, but over the past 2 days his weight diminished amazingly
      quickly. He was only about 4lbs, if that.

      My brother and my mom drove us to the vets, I spoke to Wolfy during the
      drive, and by the time we got there, he was much worse. He did not even
      seem to know that we were not home anymore. His breathing become worse and
      his little legs started to kick, and he let out a small cry that broke my

      Everyone had told me that putting a cat to sleep is easy and quick and
      peaceful, but I really didn't feel like that. My poor baby went into a
      seizure and I began to cry uncontrollably. I turned away for a few moments
      and my brother held him as Wolfy slipped away, and then I went to him and
      petted him and told him how much I love him. I hate to sound grim, but this
      was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my entire life and I am
      having a very hard time accepting it. I keep trying to tell myself that I
      did the right thing, that it was his time, he was too weak and frail to
      recover. But a part of me also feels terrible, like I let him down.

      I would do anything to bring him back, to kiss him one more time, to see
      those little eyes looking at me. I miss him so much already, I can barely
      think straight or sleep. Wolfy was a huge part of my life. I have other
      pets that I love and they are terrific, but there is an emptiness here now.
      Wolfy was really the only thing in my life that I ever did right. I fell in
      love with him the moment I saw him and that love just grew every day. I
      feel lost without him.

      I am so sorry to go on and on. I am just so upset over this and I dont know
      how to deal with it. Thank you all so much for your care and support, it is
      nice to know that people care and understand.

      I love my little Wolfy so much, and I hope that he can forgive me and that
      he knows how very much I love him, with all of my heartbeats. Sleep with
      the angels, little one, I hope you are free now and able to play and sleep
      and breathe peacefully.

      Please hug all of your furbabies, and keep Wolfy in your thoughts.


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    • vandalin1
      Carrie, I know that helping Wolfy cross had to be the most difficult thing you have ever done. As I sit here crying for you and Wolfy, I hope that time will
      Message 2 of 2 , Nov 2, 2002

        I know that helping Wolfy cross had to be the most difficult thing you have ever done. As I sit here crying for you and Wolfy, I hope that time will help you accept your loss. My thoughts are with you.

        Anne V
        Warner Robins, GA

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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