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Re: What could I have done?

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  • shelleysbuttons
    Cyndi- I am so very sorry that you lost sweet Murray. After Gloria was diagnosed I found out that most kitties aren t diagnosed until they have died from heart
    Message 1 of 25 , Apr 2, 2002
      Cyndi-

      I am so very sorry that you lost sweet Murray. After Gloria was
      diagnosed I found out that most kitties aren't diagnosed until they
      have died from heart disease. The only readon my Gloria is still here
      is that her littermate had HCM and one of the vets who owned him
      thought Gloria should have an ultrasound prior to surgery. As it
      turned out the surgery would have killed her because she was given a
      50-50 chance of making it thru the weekend (with previously
      undiagnosed HCM). I was one of the lucky ones.

      You did nothing wrong, only loved your beloved Murray. You will be in
      my thoughts.

      Shelley-- In feline-heart@y..., "reagansmomma" <cyndy@s...> wrote:
      > I got up this morning around 5:00 am to pee and my cat Frank came
      in,
      > as he does every morning, to sit by me as I pee. I hear my other
      cat
      > Murray wildly scratching on the stairs below the bathroom. I think,
      > wow he's full of piss and vinegar this morning. I walk out and his
      > back legs are splayed out behind him and he is panting as he tries
      to
      > drag his limp body up the stairs to me. I wisk him up and take him
      > to the animal hospital thinking he has broken a leg in the night
      > sometime. He had severe heart disease (I didn't know that) and
      > threw a blood clot to his lower spine during the night and his back
      > legs died. I just had to hold him while they put him down. He was
      > my first baby in this world and I loved him like crazy. He was so
      > good to Reagan...let her drag him around...purring the whole time.
      > Dammit. I can't beleive this. Should I have seen something before
      > this happened? I just can't beleive it...he was only 3 years old.
      >
      >
      > ~Cyndy
    • diane
      I m glad you re feeling better about your decision! Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I really do believe you did what was right. ... Tiger did specifically,
      Message 2 of 25 , Apr 2, 2002
        I'm glad you're feeling better about your decision! Hindsight is a
        wonderful thing, but I really do believe you did what was right.



        >
        >Diane, did your kittens ever come to you in your dreams to let you
        >know they were alright? I asked for mUrray to come to me last
        >night...and he didn't.



        Tiger did specifically, and said she was fine. She died from a
        botched operation.

        Frisky, believe or not, I can't remember! I think he did, but even if
        he didn't I was at peace with his death.

        Kearra, well, I keep saying she didn't, but then I found a post from
        a few weeks after she died. I had a dream I was in the kitchen doing
        what I do (probably cleaning the counter the grows junk!) and looked
        down at the cats. And realized she was sitting next to me! I swooped
        down and picked her up.

        And that's all I remember. :(

        From Kearra, I still need more, even after all this time. I think it
        would help me with closure, even though I have gotten on with my life
        without her. I need to know from her that she was too far gone, she
        was in more pain than us mere humans can imagine (cats have a high
        threshold for pain, my vet says. At the vet that day, Kearra was
        gnawing on my hand a lot. The vet said it was probably pain that was
        causing her to do that. I could tell she wasn't mad or angry, just
        agitated and I guess hurting.

        Cats being cats, they do tend not to listen. Perhaps we should ignore
        them and see if they come. <smile>


        Diane
      • Christine Paulsen
        My thoughts and prayers are with you also. I too had the misfortune of having to put a pet down and there is no pain like that. My little Rosie was a
        Message 3 of 25 , Apr 5, 2002
          My thoughts and prayers are with you also. I too had the misfortune of having to put a pet down and there is no pain like that. My little Rosie was a long-haired calico that was the most affectionate, sweet baby. She was one year old. I found her curled up in a ball one day with a purple nose. She was hardly breathing. My 2 children and myself ran her to the vet-expecting to get an antibiotic for her and bring her home. Instead the vet took x-rays and fount a tumor the size of nerf football that was crushing her lungs. Surgery was 20% chance. I held her little body in my arms as I gave the vet the "go ahead" to gently put her out of misery. Her eyes stared at me as she slowly faded. This has been 8 yrs and I shutter when I revisit that day, but I know It was the best thing to do. She was in obvious pain and suffering and no person or animal should have to suffer if there is nothing that can be done to help.
          I wrapped her up in her blanket and brought her home and my husband made her a very special box and she was buried with her toys and blanket. I painted a large rock with her name and birth date and put paw prints on it. It has a beautiful cross and flowers. Some people thought I was totally nuts, but my kids and myself needed it to be proper to be final and peaceful. I even buried a fish, bird and chipmunk next to her when they were found dead. I thought she would like to have them around!!! I am a very sensitive person when it comes to pain and death. I am a nurse and deal with it quite often and it never gets easy. I think you did the right thing. It was going to happen and you just made it more humane. Some times we have to make difficult decisions for the ones we love. Some day someone may have to make it for us. Hopefully they will be just as compasionate as we are!!
          God Bless you and all the prayers to you and your family. Sorry to hear about your mom. Hang in there. Time DOES heal!!!! Spoo and Blossoms mom, Chris.
          reagansmomma <cyndy@...> wrote: Thank you everyone for your support. It helped me very much to hear
          about the unlikeliness of Murray recovering and leading a normal
          life. It kills me to know that I cut his beautiful, loving life
          short for evey one minute but I couldn't have allowed such a
          trusting, kind little cat to suffer like he was for no reason. I
          held my mother in September while she took her last breath, too...so
          this feels like a double whammy to me....like bigs chucks of my heart
          are gone. Frank is starting to look for Murray (his littermate) and
          it is breaking my heart all over. They were together from the start
          (they were rescues) through all kinds of hardships...and came
          together to be my first babies. Frank is so nervous and paces around
          the house, looking around corners...looking for his brother. I will
          definately do a memorial for Murray...in the garden, by the tree and
          in my heart. Thank you all again for the information and the support.

          ~Cyndy
          --- In feline-heart@y..., KJensClark@a... wrote:
          > Really, you did EVERYTHING you should have done and your feelings
          of guilt
          > are very normal. It is worse when we don't get a chance to say
          goodbye and
          > these things happen with no warning.
          >
          > Just a few days ago my cat Garfield was in respiratory distress and
          if I had
          > not been home with a sick child, he would have died before I came
          home from
          > work. He ate breakfast that morning and gave me no indication he
          was about
          > to become ill and on the verge of death before noontime. He also
          gave no
          > warning signs, and if I had not gotten him right to the vet, well,
          they said
          > he would not have made it. I am grateful I was able to save him
          the pain of
          > dying alone. He is still not out of the woods yet, but he is home
          and being
          > made comfortable while we see if he rebounds or not. At the least,
          I have a
          > little time to say goodbye and prepare.
          >
          > You made absolutely the right decision. Based on all the research
          I have
          > done in the last few days, you saved your beloved cat from further
          suffering,
          > confusion, pain, fright. You held him as he passed, and he knew
          you were
          > there for him. Cats are so good at hiding their problems, and the
          kindest
          > gift we can give them is euthanasia at the end. There are many
          people in
          > this world who are ready to go, health-wise, and we cannot do the
          same for
          > them, legally. I think we humans would be more humane if we
          treated each
          > other like we treat our pets.
          >
          > My other cat, Macavity, had to be put down two years ago, after her
          diagnosis
          > of cancer. It spread so fast, and I tried everything, spent
          thousands of
          > dollars, and she wasted before my eyes. Looking back, knowing what
          I know
          > now, I wish I had put her down sooner. That is why I am struggling
          with
          > Garfield's after-care-diagnosis .... the lessons I learned from
          that and
          > about quality of life.
          >
          > What may help is for you to make some sort of memorial to your
          kitty. I was
          > allowed by my vet to bring Macavity's body home. (Not all places
          will let
          > you.) After she "laid in state" for a day in a more upgraded box
          than the
          > vet gave me, I tucked a poem by T.S. Eliot and some of her toys in
          with her,
          > then picked her favorite spot in the backyard garden to bury her.
          Later, I
          > went to a craft store and purchased a stepping stone kit, and made
          a one foot
          > square out of cement and made her a personalized memorial marker to
          go in
          > "Macavity's Garden". Garfield even donated his paw for a second to
          make a
          > kitty paw print in it. It may sound silly, but I have gone out to
          her spot
          > and talked to her about Garfield and what to do these last few
          days. Perhaps
          > doing something like this, will help. It is important to recognize
          your
          > grief and to do things, though they may make you sad, to help you
          remember
          > the good times. Nothing is inappropriate if it helps you.
          >
          > My heart goes out to you and I am very sorry for your loss.
          >
          > Karen and Garfield
          >
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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        • Mike & Linda Irrgang
          oh chris, thank you so much for your wonderful story of pain, death and healing....it touched my heart and i know what you mean about it never getting
          Message 4 of 25 , Apr 7, 2002
            oh chris, thank you so much for your wonderful story of pain, death and
            healing....it touched my heart and i know what you mean about it never
            getting easy.....god bless you and yours for being such wonderful caring
            folks....

            linda and the boys

            -----Original Message-----
            From: Christine Paulsen [mailto:Chris_catqueen@...]
            Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 9:03 PM
            To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
            Subject: Re: [FH] What could I have done?



            My thoughts and prayers are with you also. I too had the misfortune of
            having to put a pet down and there is no pain like that. My little Rosie
            was a long-haired calico that was the most affectionate, sweet baby. She
            was one year old. I found her curled up in a ball one day with a purple
            nose. She was hardly breathing. My 2 children and myself ran her to the
            vet-expecting to get an antibiotic for her and bring her home. Instead the
            vet took x-rays and fount a tumor the size of nerf football that was
            crushing her lungs. Surgery was 20% chance. I held her little body in my
            arms as I gave the vet the "go ahead" to gently put her out of misery. Her
            eyes stared at me as she slowly faded. This has been 8 yrs and I shutter
            when I revisit that day, but I know It was the best thing to do. She was in
            obvious pain and suffering and no person or animal should have to suffer if
            there is nothing that can be done to help.
            I wrapped her up in her blanket and brought her home and my husband made her
            a very special box and she was buried with her toys and blanket. I painted
            a large rock with her name and birth date and put paw prints on it. It has
            a beautiful cross and flowers. Some people thought I was totally nuts, but
            my kids and myself needed it to be proper to be final and peaceful. I even
            buried a fish, bird and chipmunk next to her when they were found dead. I
            thought she would like to have them around!!! I am a very sensitive person
            when it comes to pain and death. I am a nurse and deal with it quite often
            and it never gets easy. I think you did the right thing. It was going to
            happen and you just made it more humane. Some times we have to make
            difficult decisions for the ones we love. Some day someone may have to make
            it for us. Hopefully they will be just as compasionate as we are!!
            God Bless you and all the prayers to you and your family. Sorry to hear
            about your mom. Hang in there. Time DOES heal!!!! Spoo and Blossoms mom,
            Chris.
            reagansmomma <cyndy@...> wrote: Thank you everyone for your
            support. It helped me very much to hear
            about the unlikeliness of Murray recovering and leading a normal
            life. It kills me to know that I cut his beautiful, loving life
            short for evey one minute but I couldn't have allowed such a
            trusting, kind little cat to suffer like he was for no reason. I
            held my mother in September while she took her last breath, too...so
            this feels like a double whammy to me....like bigs chucks of my heart
            are gone. Frank is starting to look for Murray (his littermate) and
            it is breaking my heart all over. They were together from the start
            (they were rescues) through all kinds of hardships...and came
            together to be my first babies. Frank is so nervous and paces around
            the house, looking around corners...looking for his brother. I will
            definately do a memorial for Murray...in the garden, by the tree and
            in my heart. Thank you all again for the information and the support.

            ~Cyndy
            --- In feline-heart@y..., KJensClark@a... wrote:
            > Really, you did EVERYTHING you should have done and your feelings
            of guilt
            > are very normal. It is worse when we don't get a chance to say
            goodbye and
            > these things happen with no warning.
            >
            > Just a few days ago my cat Garfield was in respiratory distress and
            if I had
            > not been home with a sick child, he would have died before I came
            home from
            > work. He ate breakfast that morning and gave me no indication he
            was about
            > to become ill and on the verge of death before noontime. He also
            gave no
            > warning signs, and if I had not gotten him right to the vet, well,
            they said
            > he would not have made it. I am grateful I was able to save him
            the pain of
            > dying alone. He is still not out of the woods yet, but he is home
            and being
            > made comfortable while we see if he rebounds or not. At the least,
            I have a
            > little time to say goodbye and prepare.
            >
            > You made absolutely the right decision. Based on all the research
            I have
            > done in the last few days, you saved your beloved cat from further
            suffering,
            > confusion, pain, fright. You held him as he passed, and he knew
            you were
            > there for him. Cats are so good at hiding their problems, and the
            kindest
            > gift we can give them is euthanasia at the end. There are many
            people in
            > this world who are ready to go, health-wise, and we cannot do the
            same for
            > them, legally. I think we humans would be more humane if we
            treated each
            > other like we treat our pets.
            >
            > My other cat, Macavity, had to be put down two years ago, after her
            diagnosis
            > of cancer. It spread so fast, and I tried everything, spent
            thousands of
            > dollars, and she wasted before my eyes. Looking back, knowing what
            I know
            > now, I wish I had put her down sooner. That is why I am struggling
            with
            > Garfield's after-care-diagnosis .... the lessons I learned from
            that and
            > about quality of life.
            >
            > What may help is for you to make some sort of memorial to your
            kitty. I was
            > allowed by my vet to bring Macavity's body home. (Not all places
            will let
            > you.) After she "laid in state" for a day in a more upgraded box
            than the
            > vet gave me, I tucked a poem by T.S. Eliot and some of her toys in
            with her,
            > then picked her favorite spot in the backyard garden to bury her.
            Later, I
            > went to a craft store and purchased a stepping stone kit, and made
            a one foot
            > square out of cement and made her a personalized memorial marker to
            go in
            > "Macavity's Garden". Garfield even donated his paw for a second to
            make a
            > kitty paw print in it. It may sound silly, but I have gone out to
            her spot
            > and talked to her about Garfield and what to do these last few
            days. Perhaps
            > doing something like this, will help. It is important to recognize
            your
            > grief and to do things, though they may make you sad, to help you
            remember
            > the good times. Nothing is inappropriate if it helps you.
            >
            > My heart goes out to you and I am very sorry for your loss.
            >
            > Karen and Garfield
            >
            >
            > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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          • Christine Paulsen
            Linda, There is nothing worse than the loss of a two legged or four legged loved one. I had a hard week at work and when I read your story I wanted you to
            Message 5 of 25 , Apr 9, 2002
              Linda,
              There is nothing worse than the loss of a two legged or four legged loved one. I had a hard week at work and when I read your story I wanted you to know you are not alone in the world of a heavy heart. I work at Dr. Office and this week we lost a patient in our waiting room. In the past 8 months my family has had to deal with a death of a loved one, attempted suicide, and my sweet heart Spoo almost died. I thought for sure when Spoo threw the "Big" one I was going to have to put her to sleep like I had to my precious Rosie. Thankfully she has bounced back, but I know I would never let her suffer in any way. I will try some medical treatments, but would never prolong it if it would not help her. It is hard, but as a human I wish we had more choices our selves in the event of a painful-terminal illness.
              I just wanted you to know there are so many people out here in e-mail land that feels your pain and hope you too will bounce back and feel the relief your sweet baby now feels. God Bless and be safe.
              Chris, Spoo, Blossom, Rosie and Disney


              Mike & Linda Irrgang <irrgang@...> wrote: oh chris, thank you so much for your wonderful story of pain, death and
              healing....it touched my heart and i know what you mean about it never
              getting easy.....god bless you and yours for being such wonderful caring
              folks....

              linda and the boys

              -----Original Message-----
              From: Christine Paulsen [mailto:Chris_catqueen@...]
              Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 9:03 PM
              To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
              Subject: Re: [FH] What could I have done?



              My thoughts and prayers are with you also. I too had the misfortune of
              having to put a pet down and there is no pain like that. My little Rosie
              was a long-haired calico that was the most affectionate, sweet baby. She
              was one year old. I found her curled up in a ball one day with a purple
              nose. She was hardly breathing. My 2 children and myself ran her to the
              vet-expecting to get an antibiotic for her and bring her home. Instead the
              vet took x-rays and fount a tumor the size of nerf football that was
              crushing her lungs. Surgery was 20% chance. I held her little body in my
              arms as I gave the vet the "go ahead" to gently put her out of misery. Her
              eyes stared at me as she slowly faded. This has been 8 yrs and I shutter
              when I revisit that day, but I know It was the best thing to do. She was in
              obvious pain and suffering and no person or animal should have to suffer if
              there is nothing that can be done to help.
              I wrapped her up in her blanket and brought her home and my husband made her
              a very special box and she was buried with her toys and blanket. I painted
              a large rock with her name and birth date and put paw prints on it. It has
              a beautiful cross and flowers. Some people thought I was totally nuts, but
              my kids and myself needed it to be proper to be final and peaceful. I even
              buried a fish, bird and chipmunk next to her when they were found dead. I
              thought she would like to have them around!!! I am a very sensitive person
              when it comes to pain and death. I am a nurse and deal with it quite often
              and it never gets easy. I think you did the right thing. It was going to
              happen and you just made it more humane. Some times we have to make
              difficult decisions for the ones we love. Some day someone may have to make
              it for us. Hopefully they will be just as compasionate as we are!!
              God Bless you and all the prayers to you and your family. Sorry to hear
              about your mom. Hang in there. Time DOES heal!!!! Spoo and Blossoms mom,
              Chris.
              reagansmomma <cyndy@...> wrote: Thank you everyone for your
              support. It helped me very much to hear
              about the unlikeliness of Murray recovering and leading a normal
              life. It kills me to know that I cut his beautiful, loving life
              short for evey one minute but I couldn't have allowed such a
              trusting, kind little cat to suffer like he was for no reason. I
              held my mother in September while she took her last breath, too...so
              this feels like a double whammy to me....like bigs chucks of my heart
              are gone. Frank is starting to look for Murray (his littermate) and
              it is breaking my heart all over. They were together from the start
              (they were rescues) through all kinds of hardships...and came
              together to be my first babies. Frank is so nervous and paces around
              the house, looking around corners...looking for his brother. I will
              definately do a memorial for Murray...in the garden, by the tree and
              in my heart. Thank you all again for the information and the support.

              ~Cyndy
              --- In feline-heart@y..., KJensClark@a... wrote:
              > Really, you did EVERYTHING you should have done and your feelings
              of guilt
              > are very normal. It is worse when we don't get a chance to say
              goodbye and
              > these things happen with no warning.
              >
              > Just a few days ago my cat Garfield was in respiratory distress and
              if I had
              > not been home with a sick child, he would have died before I came
              home from
              > work. He ate breakfast that morning and gave me no indication he
              was about
              > to become ill and on the verge of death before noontime. He also
              gave no
              > warning signs, and if I had not gotten him right to the vet, well,
              they said
              > he would not have made it. I am grateful I was able to save him
              the pain of
              > dying alone. He is still not out of the woods yet, but he is home
              and being
              > made comfortable while we see if he rebounds or not. At the least,
              I have a
              > little time to say goodbye and prepare.
              >
              > You made absolutely the right decision. Based on all the research
              I have
              > done in the last few days, you saved your beloved cat from further
              suffering,
              > confusion, pain, fright. You held him as he passed, and he knew
              you were
              > there for him. Cats are so good at hiding their problems, and the
              kindest
              > gift we can give them is euthanasia at the end. There are many
              people in
              > this world who are ready to go, health-wise, and we cannot do the
              same for
              > them, legally. I think we humans would be more humane if we
              treated each
              > other like we treat our pets.
              >
              > My other cat, Macavity, had to be put down two years ago, after her
              diagnosis
              > of cancer. It spread so fast, and I tried everything, spent
              thousands of
              > dollars, and she wasted before my eyes. Looking back, knowing what
              I know
              > now, I wish I had put her down sooner. That is why I am struggling
              with
              > Garfield's after-care-diagnosis .... the lessons I learned from
              that and
              > about quality of life.
              >
              > What may help is for you to make some sort of memorial to your
              kitty. I was
              > allowed by my vet to bring Macavity's body home. (Not all places
              will let
              > you.) After she "laid in state" for a day in a more upgraded box
              than the
              > vet gave me, I tucked a poem by T.S. Eliot and some of her toys in
              with her,
              > then picked her favorite spot in the backyard garden to bury her.
              Later, I
              > went to a craft store and purchased a stepping stone kit, and made
              a one foot
              > square out of cement and made her a personalized memorial marker to
              go in
              > "Macavity's Garden". Garfield even donated his paw for a second to
              make a
              > kitty paw print in it. It may sound silly, but I have gone out to
              her spot
              > and talked to her about Garfield and what to do these last few
              days. Perhaps
              > doing something like this, will help. It is important to recognize
              your
              > grief and to do things, though they may make you sad, to help you
              remember
              > the good times. Nothing is inappropriate if it helps you.
              >
              > My heart goes out to you and I am very sorry for your loss.
              >
              > Karen and Garfield
              >
              >
              > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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