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My Lilli's life is finished.

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  • gran_patti
    This morning I woke up and the first thing I thought of was Lilli. As it had been, I would check her heart, breathing and color and then start her days
    Message 1 of 3 , Jul 9, 2000
      This morning I woke up and the first thing I thought of was Lilli. As it had been, I would check her heart, breathing and color and then start her days medicine. Then I realized that Lilli had passed away yesterday at the vets and she would not be snuggled up somewhere, on my bed, her favorite chair the top of the cat tree by the window and perking her ears up and looking at me and giving a sleepy morning yawn. I can't believe she isn't here. Just yesterday she was alive, warm, moving and now today her life is finished. I brought her home and put her in one of her favorite beds so the other cats could say good bye. Ladyhawke seemed the most aware. She sniffed her a bit and then washed her head, the middle of it and then sat down by her for about 20 minutes not moving eyes almost closed and kept looking at Lilli. Today Ladyhawke is clearly "looking" "testing the air" going to all the likely spots where Lilli would have been hanging out. I am not sure whether she has the connection between Lilli's quite body and her absence. Maybe she does and she is just visiting all the places where she remembers Lilli and trying to extract her growing ever fainter scent from the rooms. Baxter is just sad. He is sticking to me like glue and almost whimpered. He too chose to lie beside her for over an hour. He sniffed her a lot but didn't wash her. When she was sick and having a bad day, he used to lie down beside her, she had the shakes bad from some medicine she was trying and he put his arm over her and snuggled against her as if to warm her. They must be feeling her loss. I will try to give them a lot of attention, it helps me to hold them tool I can't believe this ache and sadness. I already have a lot of pictures of her taken over the years, but I arranged her in her bed and took some last photos and then I took her out on the porch and put her on the wicker couch where she and I had been spending the last 3 days. I would be reading and she sleeping beside me to wake up and hed but, snuzzle, roll over and show tummy for scratches, and vocalize to me. It was a particularly close experience I had with her those 3 days. She was extraordinarily affectionate and endearing. I wonder if she sensed a change coming and if she did was she telling me how much she loved me so I would be sure to know it an remember it aas this pain tightens like a vice around me, squeezing the very air out of my lungs, the tears from my eyes. I can't believe it seems like a bad dream, knowing that it was inevitable someday but never expecting it to happen. Somehow I believed she was indestructible. She had surprised vets, and had a happy, comfy, normal kitty life. She had pulled out of several serious things before and gone on to normal life I guess I half expected her to surmount this assault on her body. Actually she did, in the biggest sense of it all. She did her best to live, drank her water, took her meds. She gave me the most unconditional love I have ever experienced. We were a pair, really intertwined. She appointed herself my guard when I was taking a bath or showering. She would turn up at the bathroom door and just watch me to make sure those bath monsters didn't get me frightened or upset (like they did her)(she didn't like to be bathed) and to make sure I emerged unscathed and alright from their midst. I won't be looking for her to just keep checking on her and her breathing, calling her Lilli--- Lilli-Lo------Loowie----Lil-Lil----my god my heart is breaking. She had the most incredible whiskers, as long on each side as the space bar on the computer keyboard, dead white (a few black) and they stuck straight out for the most part a few of them had ends which drooped a tiny curl on the very end. Such stupid things are setting me off, I won't be dicing up deli turkey and putting it in a little dish so she could sit beside me on the couch and eat while I ate a sandwich. Now I will be eating the sandwich and her place beside me will be empty. But I still feel her spirit warm across my chest and I don't think it has left yet. I still feel her sweet presence. You know what? I hope I always will I really do. I should try and get moving, dressed or something. It is so comforting to come to the computer nd pour out my heart to you all knowing that you all care and understand and know what I am going through. It is so hard to start this first day without her sweet perky physical visual presence. I can't watch her walk down the kitchen with her very distinctive rolling gait but I can picture her and hold her dear, safe and protect her still in my heart. Thanks for listening Patti and ---now I am having to say it too---Angel---- Angel, dearest Angel Lilli the mighty Lilli


      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Jonathan Rosenberg
      Patti, Your writings about Lilli are so incredibly touching. I haven t cried this hard since we lost our boy Tabby last year. It s been a while since I have
      Message 2 of 3 , Jul 9, 2000
        Patti,

        Your writings about Lilli are so incredibly touching. I haven't cried this
        hard since we lost our boy Tabby last year. It's been a while since I have
        really felt how incredibly painful such a loss is.

        I am so sorry for your loss & I wish there were something I could do to take
        the pain away. But even if there were, it wouldn't be right ... certainly
        the loss of a loved one like Lilli almsot demands that a heart-rending ache
        be felt by many.

        > -----Original Message-----
        > From: gran_patti [mailto:gran_patti@...]
        > Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2000 10:20 AM
        > To: feline-heart@egroups.com
        > Subject: [feline-heart] My Lilli's life is finished.
        >
        >
        > This morning I woke up and the first thing I thought of was
        > Lilli. As it had been, I would check her heart, breathing and
        > color and then start her days medicine. Then I realized that
        > Lilli had passed away yesterday at the vets and she would not be
        > snuggled up somewhere, on my bed, her favorite chair the top of
        > the cat tree by the window and perking her ears up and looking at
        > me and giving a sleepy morning yawn. I can't believe she isn't
        > here. Just yesterday she was alive, warm, moving and now today
        > her life is finished. I brought her home and put her in one of
        > her favorite beds so the other cats could say good bye.
        > Ladyhawke seemed the most aware. She sniffed her a bit and then
        > washed her head, the middle of it and then sat down by her for
        > about 20 minutes not moving eyes almost closed and kept looking
        > at Lilli. Today Ladyhawke is clearly "looking" "testing the air"
        > going to all the likely spots where Lilli would have been hanging
        > out. I am not sure whether she has the connection between
        > Lilli's quite body and her absence. Maybe she does and she is
        > just visiting all the places where she remembers Lilli and trying
        > to extract her growing ever fainter scent from the rooms. Baxter
        > is just sad. He is sticking to me like glue and almost
        > whimpered. He too chose to lie beside her for over an hour. He
        > sniffed her a lot but didn't wash her. When she was sick and
        > having a bad day, he used to lie down beside her, she had the
        > shakes bad from some medicine she was trying and he put his arm
        > over her and snuggled against her as if to warm her. They must
        > be feeling her loss. I will try to give them a lot of attention,
        > it helps me to hold them tool I can't believe this ache and
        > sadness. I already have a lot of pictures of her taken over the
        > years, but I arranged her in her bed and took some last photos
        > and then I took her out on the porch and put her on the wicker
        > couch where she and I had been spending the last 3 days. I would
        > be reading and she sleeping beside me to wake up and hed but,
        > snuzzle, roll over and show tummy for scratches, and vocalize to
        > me. It was a particularly close experience I had with her those
        > 3 days. She was extraordinarily affectionate and endearing. I
        > wonder if she sensed a change coming and if she did was she
        > telling me how much she loved me so I would be sure to know it an
        > remember it aas this pain tightens like a vice around me,
        > squeezing the very air out of my lungs, the tears from my eyes.
        > I can't believe it seems like a bad dream, knowing that it was
        > inevitable someday but never expecting it to happen. Somehow I
        > believed she was indestructible. She had surprised vets, and
        > had a happy, comfy, normal kitty life. She had pulled out of
        > several serious things before and gone on to normal life I guess
        > I half expected her to surmount this assault on her body.
        > Actually she did, in the biggest sense of it all. She did her
        > best to live, drank her water, took her meds. She gave me the
        > most unconditional love I have ever experienced. We were a pair,
        > really intertwined. She appointed herself my guard when I was
        > taking a bath or showering. She would turn up at the bathroom
        > door and just watch me to make sure those bath monsters didn't
        > get me frightened or upset (like they did her)(she didn't like to
        > be bathed) and to make sure I emerged unscathed and alright from
        > their midst. I won't be looking for her to just keep checking on
        > her and her breathing, calling her Lilli---
        > Lilli-Lo------Loowie----Lil-Lil----my god my heart is breaking.
        > She had the most incredible whiskers, as long on each side as the
        > space bar on the computer keyboard, dead white (a few black) and
        > they stuck straight out for the most part a few of them had ends
        > which drooped a tiny curl on the very end. Such stupid things
        > are setting me off, I won't be dicing up deli turkey and putting
        > it in a little dish so she could sit beside me on the couch and
        > eat while I ate a sandwich. Now I will be eating the sandwich
        > and her place beside me will be empty. But I still feel her
        > spirit warm across my chest and I don't think it has left yet. I
        > still feel her sweet presence. You know what? I hope I always
        > will I really do. I should try and get moving, dressed or
        > something. It is so comforting to come to the computer nd pour
        > out my heart to you all knowing that you all care and understand
        > and know what I am going through. It is so hard to start this
        > first day without her sweet perky physical visual presence. I
        > can't watch her walk down the kitchen with her very distinctive
        > rolling gait but I can picture her and hold her dear, safe and
        > protect her still in my heart. Thanks for listening Patti and
        > ---now I am having to say it too---Angel---- Angel, dearest Angel
        > Lilli the mighty Lilli
        >
        >
        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        >
        >
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      • Miguel &Linda Irrgang
        I am so sorry for your loss but remember that we are here for you and Lilli has joined all of our friends and I m sure if busy even now bringing and happiness
        Message 3 of 3 , Jul 14, 2000
          I am so sorry for your loss but remember that we are here for you and Lilli has joined all of our friends and I'm sure if busy even now bringing and happiness to all of those who have moved forward to painfree lives of the purest existence. Hold on to your memories and your thoughts I believe they are Lilli reaching out for comfort in her time of transition and she needs you still to support her in that time. I know that Bigger and Sillie are there with her and they;ll be great friends in no time so be courageous and hold on to your dear little ones who still need you here.

          Loves to Lilli and yours,
          Linda max and pum

          gran_patti wrote:

          > This morning I woke up and the first thing I thought of was Lilli. As it had been, I would check her heart, breathing and color and then start her days medicine. Then I realized that Lilli had passed away yesterday at the vets and she would not be snuggled up somewhere, on my bed, her favorite chair the top of the cat tree by the window and perking her ears up and looking at me and giving a sleepy morning yawn. I can't believe she isn't here. Just yesterday she was alive, warm, moving and now today her life is finished. I brought her home and put her in one of her favorite beds so the other cats could say good bye. Ladyhawke seemed the most aware. She sniffed her a bit and then washed her head, the middle of it and then sat down by her for about 20 minutes not moving eyes almost closed and kept looking at Lilli. Today Ladyhawke is clearly "looking" "testing the air" going to all the likely spots where Lilli would have been hanging out. I am not sure whether she has the
          > connection between Lilli's quite body and her absence. Maybe she does and she is just visiting all the places where she remembers Lilli and trying to extract her growing ever fainter scent from the rooms. Baxter is just sad. He is sticking to me like glue and almost whimpered. He too chose to lie beside her for over an hour. He sniffed her a lot but didn't wash her. When she was sick and having a bad day, he used to lie down beside her, she had the shakes bad from some medicine she was trying and he put his arm over her and snuggled against her as if to warm her. They must be feeling her loss. I will try to give them a lot of attention, it helps me to hold them tool I can't believe this ache and sadness. I already have a lot of pictures of her taken over the years, but I arranged her in her bed and took some last photos and then I took her out on the porch and put her on the wicker couch where she and I had been spending the last 3 days. I would be reading and she sleeping
          > beside me to wake up and hed but, snuzzle, roll over and show tummy for scratches, and vocalize to me. It was a particularly close experience I had with her those 3 days. She was extraordinarily affectionate and endearing. I wonder if she sensed a change coming and if she did was she telling me how much she loved me so I would be sure to know it an remember it aas this pain tightens like a vice around me, squeezing the very air out of my lungs, the tears from my eyes. I can't believe it seems like a bad dream, knowing that it was inevitable someday but never expecting it to happen. Somehow I believed she was indestructible. She had surprised vets, and had a happy, comfy, normal kitty life. She had pulled out of several serious things before and gone on to normal life I guess I half expected her to surmount this assault on her body. Actually she did, in the biggest sense of it all. She did her best to live, drank her water, took her meds. She gave me the most
          > unconditional love I have ever experienced. We were a pair, really intertwined. She appointed herself my guard when I was taking a bath or showering. She would turn up at the bathroom door and just watch me to make sure those bath monsters didn't get me frightened or upset (like they did her)(she didn't like to be bathed) and to make sure I emerged unscathed and alright from their midst. I won't be looking for her to just keep checking on her and her breathing, calling her Lilli--- Lilli-Lo------Loowie----Lil-Lil----my god my heart is breaking. She had the most incredible whiskers, as long on each side as the space bar on the computer keyboard, dead white (a few black) and they stuck straight out for the most part a few of them had ends which drooped a tiny curl on the very end. Such stupid things are setting me off, I won't be dicing up deli turkey and putting it in a little dish so she could sit beside me on the couch and eat while I ate a sandwich. Now I will be eating
          > the sandwich and her place beside me will be empty. But I still feel her spirit warm across my chest and I don't think it has left yet. I still feel her sweet presence. You know what? I hope I always will I really do. I should try and get moving, dressed or something. It is so comforting to come to the computer nd pour out my heart to you all knowing that you all care and understand and know what I am going through. It is so hard to start this first day without her sweet perky physical visual presence. I can't watch her walk down the kitchen with her very distinctive rolling gait but I can picture her and hold her dear, safe and protect her still in my heart. Thanks for listening Patti and ---now I am having to say it too---Angel---- Angel, dearest Angel Lilli the mighty Lilli
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
          > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
          > Need some home improvement repairs done?
          > Win A Handyman and make him do it!
          > http://click.egroups.com/1/6305/6/_/892589/_/963152417/
          > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
          >
          > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
          > feline-heart-unsubscribe@onelist.com
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