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my dearest Lilli

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  • gran_patti
    to all you wonderful and understanding and caring friends. I wasn t going to post anything until I had felt I had composed a fitting description but I can t
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 8, 2000
      to all you wonderful and understanding and caring friends. I wasn't going to post anything until I had felt I had composed a fitting description but I can't sleep, and I am aching so much and I thought if I could just relieve some of my sorrow I could find someppeace.Theprecious, sweetest , dearest little Lilli, left me behind about 5 hours ago. I can feel her spirit, warm across my chest from shoulder to shoulder. Her quiet little body is here for her cat family to say goodbye to and tomorrow I will prepare her for her cremation. I loved her so much. and Love her still. We are now 5 but will always be a family of 6, Lilli will always be a part of this family I just know that .Iwas by her side every step of the way of her life and when this morning came and I saw she couldn't be on room oxygen and rook her to the vet and she was made comforrtable on pure oxygen. We were there from 12.30 to to 5;00 She died at 5:00. She didn't appear to be experienceing any sense of smothering or strangling, her comfort was insured by the flow of oxygen. I was by her side,encouraging, soothing, singing,loveing, hoping and reasurring her, the vet was right there in case she showed signs of pain or fear or horrible struggles, but she was able to die on her own. On her own timetable, and I believe that she died in trust and security. The vet said it was a peaceful passing. She died a true Lady, coping, accepting and giving it her best. I have thought since then, maybe she struggled to live so long because she knew how much I loved and needed her. She was a valiant spirit and a mighty force. Then I think she lived so long because she loved me and loved our life and didn't want to leave it. I had 8 and a half wonderful years with this dear soul, whose sense of innocence and wonder purified my view of things so very often. She was a trusting and loving force, she has left her mark on me and on so many people who knew her. At three weeks old the vet said she should be pts because her heart problem would finish her. That was only one of the many times folks would say she had only days to live. She lived 8 and a half trouble,symptom free years. Her life has come to mean something, stand for something, she has left a mark. I don't know what I can say tonight in fitting tribute to her I will try and do that and tell you how it all occured this last and fast and sorrowful day. Right now I cannot finish typing, The pressure across my heart, chest, neck is so great I can hardly breath and I cry, and cry and cry , thinking of the images I have of her. I will never see her walking down the hall again, with her own rollingait tailheld high, eyes so full of interest in her worldl, I will have those memories only and so grateful for that. So many other precious images are flooding me that I know will never get to be replayed or expanded on in this world and I can hardly breath. Thank you for all th help you have sent to us in these past three months. She knew and felt your love and I got so much help. I can't write anymore now, I can hardly sit up over this keyboard. I will try and write a fitting tribute and update on how things went at the end, but right now I am unable to continue. I hope you will hold and love on your warm and alive furbabies for us tonight. Each moment is so precious For those beloved kitties who have reached the bridge ahead of her to whom she and I sent our love and condolences, Here come Lilli, help her, love her and protect her and assure her that her mom is okay and will be okay and someday we will all meet at the bridge and be able to be together more than we are now, because we are still together in the greatest sense and will always be together. I love you Lilli-lo You are ----- She is---- I dont quite know how I am going to get through this night. Please send your beacons of light and love to her so she can be sure of finding her way. In thanks and love Patti and the now Angel Lilli

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