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RE: [FH] when is it the end?

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  • Judi Levens
    The timing of this must have been just for us too...it s a question which is heavily on my mind right now. I cannot bear the thought of losing our boy, but he
    Message 1 of 9 , Feb 9, 2011
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      The timing of this must have been just for us too...it's a question which is heavily on my mind right now. I cannot bear the thought of losing our boy, but he doesn't seem to be getting better. I think we will put a timeframe on it and make a decision that way. He's eating very little, we are assist-feeding him also. He's lethargic most of the day, sleeping lots. He's stopped coming to bed with us a couple of months ago, but he sleeps right in close visual contact and close to us. In the mornings he seems to feel a little better...he's wanted to go "downstairs" to the Bed & Breakfast the last couple of days where he likes to explore. Right now, he's just calmly sitting there, and I am carrying him up and down the stairs, but I'm encouraged that he's interested...he went twice today...a loud meow and insistently sitting by the door till we take him. We are still trying to get him nausea meds and maybe that will make a difference. We started him on Pepcid AC yesterday and I see a little improvement, but only slight. He doesn't seem to be in pain, but he does seem to be tired...so much syringing of meds and food into him (and all over him) and he's never liked to take meds. Thank you for all of your thoughtful advice on this blog about knowing when the time is right...it's greatly appreciated...hugs from both of us...Judi and Max

      To: katemalo@...; feline-heart@yahoogroups.com; westgold@...
      From: catherama@...
      Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2011 15:32:48 -0800
      Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?

      It's the hardest thing we have to do when we love animals.. I just had to make the decision just 2 months ago with my Winston. My experience was similar to Michelle's. Winston stopped eating and stopped interacting with me. He slept with me every night -- even when he came home from the hospital and was not supposed to sleep on my bed, he insisted on it. He was very interactive and... I knew it was bad when not only did he not eat hardly anything for 2 days, but he woudl not stay on my bed and remained huddled up in the corner under the kitchen table.

      Winston ended up having what appeared to be a tumor behind his eye which was unrelated to his HCM. I agree with what they said about treating the fluid. You don't want him to go that way - drowning in fluids within his chest. I woudl pay close attention to his eating and daily behavior. Sometimes you can kick start the eating. Winston's eating was kick started when he first came home from the hospital and lived for a year and a half after that.

      It depends on so many things... but.. I know the look in Winston's eyes at the end... he was sooo not himself and it was heartbreaking to see. As hard as it was/is for me, I am so glad that he did not suffer for very long. I think he probaby was in pain that last day or two but he was himself before that and enjoying his life. There is a book my mother read called something like "Live Long, Die Fast"...Winston enjoyed his life pretty much until the last 48-72 hours. Having him go down hilll so fast was awful for me, but I know it was better for him.

      It's funny I"m getting this email today. I unsubbed to the list yesterday but I haven't been unsubbed yet. It's too painful to read most of the time.. I don't have a cat anymore but.. maybe it was meant to be that I read your email today.

      I'm sending lots of love for you and your loved one,

      At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

      --- On Wed, 2/9/11, Westgold <westgold@...> wrote:

      From: Westgold <westgold@...>
      Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?
      To: "etakolam" <katemalo@...>, "feline-heart" <feline-heart@yahoogroups.com>
      Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 6:08 PM

      Oh, we all feel for you. This has happened to all of us already, or could happen for us any day now.

      If his main problem seems to be fluid build-up, that can usually be relieved quite easily, don't stop treating that. If you don't remove the fluid he will drown, and that is terrifying for them. If it's a general decline in all areas, then it comes down to a matter of quality of life. If he eats and purrs and interacts with you, then he still has a life. You can get meds to stimulate his appetite, they work great. You can also just feed him wet food off your finger every hour, that will help keep his strength up.

      Once he starts hiding and not coming to you at all, that's when he knows the end is near. Look deep into his eyes, and he will tell you. My Pooh didn't sleep with me that one night, and even when I went and got him and brought him to bed, he left right away. The next morning he looked like hell. I looked into his eyes and he said so clearly, please let me go. So we went to the vet's immediately. (He had a brain tumor, not heart disease.) As hard as it is for us, it's the final act of love that we can give them, for all the years they gave all their love to us.

      There often are mixed signals, so communicate with him closely, regularly, look deep into his eyes -- I believe he will tell you when it's time. He's hanging on now because he loves you so much and doesn't want to leave you. But the time will come when he has to let go. But I know we will see our little ones again, this is not the end.

      take care -- Michelle & Tigger Too in Toronto

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: etakolam
      To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 5:44 PM
      Subject: [FH] when is it the end?

      It's the inevitable difficult question: when will I know it's time to let him go?

      I know he is very sick. The vet and I decided to forego anymore invasive procedures about a month ago after x-raying his lungs and seeing the fluid build up. He is eating less and less, but he is eating. Yet when I spend time with him, he purrs (as always), connects with me as always and sleeps most of the day away. I thought that by now he'd be hiding in the closet; he doesn't. It's so confusing to me. I know finding the exact moment to take him for the final vet trip doesn't exist and there is a time frame for it instead. But I am so confused because I feel like there are mixed signals. Any advice on this difficult topic would really help me at this point.

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    • elfinmyst@aol.com
      Hi This is a difficult call. I feel it is when the quality of life is unpleasant or if there is pain or fear which can t be resolved. If a cat can eat, drink,
      Message 2 of 9 , Feb 10, 2011
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        This is a difficult call. I feel it is when the quality of life is
        unpleasant or if there is pain or fear which can't be resolved. If a cat can eat,
        drink, visit the litter tray, purr and sit in the sunshine and the fluid on
        the lungs is under control I would say it is not time. Every case is
        different, it's hard for us to make that decision but if a pet is suffering and
        there is no cure it is time for the last act of kindness.

        That is my opinion only. CUddle him and make a fuss. Have you tried
        different diuretics? Also diuretics can affect potassium levels which can cause
        problems. All this I would take into consideration.



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