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Re: [FH] when is it the end?

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  • Westgold
    Please get another cat Cathy -- it will help heal your heart to have a new little boy to love. I can t tell you how much Tigger Too helped me heal after I
    Message 1 of 9 , Feb 9, 2011
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      Please get another cat Cathy -- it will help heal your heart to have a new little boy to love. I can't tell you how much Tigger Too helped me heal after I lost my soul-kitty Pooh. I don't know how I would have made it without him. Somewhere out there is a precious little boy just praying for someone as loving as you to find him and scoop him up and take him home. Please do it -- now
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: cathy coleman
      To: etakolam ; feline-heart ; Westgold
      Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 6:32 PM
      Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?


      It's the hardest thing we have to do when we love animals.. I just had to make the decision just 2 months ago with my Winston. My experience was similar to Michelle's. Winston stopped eating and stopped interacting with me. He slept with me every night -- even when he came home from the hospital and was not supposed to sleep on my bed, he insisted on it. He was very interactive and... I knew it was bad when not only did he not eat hardly anything for 2 days, but he woudl not stay on my bed and remained huddled up in the corner under the kitchen table.

      Winston ended up having what appeared to be a tumor behind his eye which was unrelated to his HCM. I agree with what they said about treating the fluid. You don't want him to go that way - drowning in fluids within his chest. I woudl pay close attention to his eating and daily behavior. Sometimes you can kick start the eating. Winston's eating was kick started when he first came home from the hospital and lived for a year and a half after that.

      It depends on so many things... but.. I know the look in Winston's eyes at the end... he was sooo not himself and it was heartbreaking to see. As hard as it was/is for me, I am so glad that he did not suffer for very long. I think he probaby was in pain that last day or two but he was himself before that and enjoying his life. There is a book my mother read called something like "Live Long, Die Fast"...Winston enjoyed his life pretty much until the last 48-72 hours. Having him go down hilll so fast was awful for me, but I know it was better for him.

      It's funny I"m getting this email today. I unsubbed to the list yesterday but I haven't been unsubbed yet. It's too painful to read most of the time.. I don't have a cat anymore but.. maybe it was meant to be that I read your email today.

      I'm sending lots of love for you and your loved one,
      Cathy


      At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston


      --- On Wed, 2/9/11, Westgold <westgold@...> wrote:


      From: Westgold <westgold@...>
      Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?
      To: "etakolam" <katemalo@...>, "feline-heart" <feline-heart@yahoogroups.com>
      Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 6:08 PM



      Oh, we all feel for you. This has happened to all of us already, or could happen for us any day now.

      If his main problem seems to be fluid build-up, that can usually be relieved quite easily, don't stop treating that. If you don't remove the fluid he will drown, and that is terrifying for them. If it's a general decline in all areas, then it comes down to a matter of quality of life. If he eats and purrs and interacts with you, then he still has a life. You can get meds to stimulate his appetite, they work great. You can also just feed him wet food off your finger every hour, that will help keep his strength up.

      Once he starts hiding and not coming to you at all, that's when he knows the end is near. Look deep into his eyes, and he will tell you. My Pooh didn't sleep with me that one night, and even when I went and got him and brought him to bed, he left right away. The next morning he looked like hell. I looked into his eyes and he said so clearly, please let me go. So we went to the vet's immediately. (He had a brain tumor, not heart disease.) As hard as it is for us, it's the final act of love that we can give them, for all the years they gave all their love to us.

      There often are mixed signals, so communicate with him closely, regularly, look deep into his eyes -- I believe he will tell you when it's time. He's hanging on now because he loves you so much and doesn't want to leave you. But the time will come when he has to let go. But I know we will see our little ones again, this is not the end.

      take care -- Michelle & Tigger Too in Toronto

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: etakolam
      To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 5:44 PM
      Subject: [FH] when is it the end?

      It's the inevitable difficult question: when will I know it's time to let him go?

      I know he is very sick. The vet and I decided to forego anymore invasive procedures about a month ago after x-raying his lungs and seeing the fluid build up. He is eating less and less, but he is eating. Yet when I spend time with him, he purrs (as always), connects with me as always and sleeps most of the day away. I thought that by now he'd be hiding in the closet; he doesn't. It's so confusing to me. I know finding the exact moment to take him for the final vet trip doesn't exist and there is a time frame for it instead. But I am so confused because I feel like there are mixed signals. Any advice on this difficult topic would really help me at this point.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





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    • Karenborga@yahoo.com
      Kate, I am very sorry that your kitty is declining. As others have written there are many factors to consider when deciding when is the right time for
      Message 2 of 9 , Feb 9, 2011
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        Kate,
        I am very sorry that your kitty is declining.

        As others have written there are many factors to consider when deciding when is
        the right time for euthanasia.
        If a crisis can be avoided, rushing to an emergency vet who has no relationship
        with your or your vet can be avoided...I think that is good. Please remember
        your veterinarian's office hours or your own personal schedule.
        What will you do if your pet is suffering after hours?
        It is good to have emergency medicine on hand, possibly for pain relief, if your
        veterinarian has prescribed something for helping your pet get through the
        night.

        I have had to decide more than once on Sunday to bring my beloved pet in on a
        Monday, which is my day off.
        When we know there is no more hope, our baby is suffering then it is kindest for
        our pet and ourselves to pick a time and day and go in.

        Although, in our hearts, there is never really and truly a convenient time it is
        best to bring our pets in a day early rather than waiting too long.

        For me no hope means that my pet's pain or symptoms can not be controlled with
        medicine.
        My pet's quality of life is something he would not choose for himself. I also
        consider my pet's dignity. None of my pets wanted my help to the litter box.
        When I brought my 20 year old, wonderful cat Romeo into the vet, she quickly
        checked his temperature and it was too low. We knew right then I was doing the
        best I could for my boy.

        Planning for our pet's euthanasia can help to make our final gift to our best
        friend a loving memory rather than a time of chaos.

        The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement has moderated on line chat rooms
        for anticipatory bereavement and also for pet loss support.
        I am an assistant host on Friday nights, 8-10 pm eastern for pet loss and on the
        first Thursday of each month in the anticipatory chat.

        www.aplb.org

        The anticipatory chat is restricted to anyone with an ill pet while someone
        anticipating or having a loss is welcome in the pet loss chats.
        The next anticipatory chat is on Thursday, February 17th, 8-10 pm.

        (((( HUGS ))))
        Karen




        ----- Original Message -----
        From: etakolam
        To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
        Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 5:44 PM
        Subject: [FH] when is it the end?

        It's the inevitable difficult question: when will I know it's time to let him
        go?

        I know he is very sick. The vet and I decided to forego anymore invasive
        procedures about a month ago after x-raying his lungs and seeing the fluid
        build up. He is eating less and less, but he is eating. Yet when I spend time
        with him, he purrs (as always), connects with me as always and sleeps most of
        the day away. I thought that by now he'd be hiding in the closet; he doesn't.
        It's so confusing to me. I know finding the exact moment to take him for the
        final vet trip doesn't exist and there is a time frame for it instead. But I am
        so confused because I feel like there are mixed signals. Any advice on this
        difficult topic would really help me at this point.

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • cathy coleman
        You guys are the best! Thank you. I love the term soul-kitty. That is exactly how I felt w/ Winston.. which is why it s hard to think about another one just
        Message 3 of 9 , Feb 9, 2011
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          You guys are the best! Thank you. I love the term soul-kitty. That is exactly how I felt w/ Winston.. which is why it's hard to think about another one just yet, but... I know eventually.. I wont be able to resist.
           
          Cathy

          At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

          --- On Wed, 2/9/11, Westgold <westgold@...> wrote:


          From: Westgold <westgold@...>
          Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?
          To: "cathy coleman" <catherama@...>, "feline-heart" <feline-heart@yahoogroups.com>
          Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 6:38 PM


          
          Please get another cat Cathy -- it will help heal your heart to have a new little boy to love.  I can't tell you how much Tigger Too helped me heal after I lost my soul-kitty Pooh.  I don't know how I would have made it without him.  Somewhere out there is a precious little boy just praying for someone as loving as you to find him and scoop him up and take him home.  Please do it -- now

          ----- Original Message -----
          From: cathy coleman
          To: etakolam ; feline-heart ; Westgold
          Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 6:32 PM
          Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?






          It's the hardest thing we have to do when we love animals.. I just had to make the decision just 2 months ago with my Winston. My experience was similar to Michelle's. Winston stopped eating and stopped interacting with me. He slept with me every night -- even when he came home from the hospital and was not supposed to sleep on my bed, he insisted on it. He was very interactive and... I knew it was bad when not only did he not eat hardly anything for 2 days, but he woudl not stay on my bed and remained huddled up in the corner  under the kitchen table.
           
          Winston ended up having what appeared to be a tumor behind his eye which was unrelated to his HCM. I agree with what they said about treating the fluid. You don't want him to go that way - drowning in fluids within his chest. I woudl pay close attention to his eating and daily behavior. Sometimes you can kick start the eating. Winston's eating was kick started when he first came home from the hospital and lived for a year and a half after that.
           
           It depends on so many things... but.. I know the look in Winston's eyes at the end... he was sooo not himself and it was heartbreaking to see. As hard as it was/is for me, I am so glad that he did not suffer for very long. I think he probaby was in pain that last day or two but he was himself before that and enjoying his life. There is a book my mother read called something like "Live Long, Die Fast"...Winston enjoyed his life pretty much until the last 48-72 hours. Having him go down hilll so fast was awful for me, but I know it was better for him.
           
             It's funny I"m getting this email today. I unsubbed to the list yesterday but I haven't been unsubbed yet. It's too painful to read most of the time.. I don't have a cat anymore but.. maybe it was meant to be that I read your email today.
           
          I'm sending lots of love for you and your loved one,
          Cathy


          At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

          --- On Wed, 2/9/11, Westgold <westgold@...> wrote:


          From: Westgold <westgold@...>
          Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?
          To: "etakolam" <katemalo@...>, "feline-heart" <feline-heart@yahoogroups.com>
          Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 6:08 PM


           



          Oh, we all feel for you. This has happened to all of us already, or could happen for us any day now.

          If his main problem seems to be fluid build-up, that can usually be relieved quite easily, don't stop treating that. If you don't remove the fluid he will drown, and that is terrifying for them. If it's a general decline in all areas, then it comes down to a matter of quality of life. If he eats and purrs and interacts with you, then he still has a life. You can get meds to stimulate his appetite, they work great. You can also just feed him wet food off your finger every hour, that will help keep his strength up.

          Once he starts hiding and not coming to you at all, that's when he knows the end is near. Look deep into his eyes, and he will tell you. My Pooh didn't sleep with me that one night, and even when I went and got him and brought him to bed, he left right away. The next morning he looked like hell. I looked into his eyes and he said so clearly, please let me go. So we went to the vet's immediately. (He had a brain tumor, not heart disease.) As hard as it is for us, it's the final act of love that we can give them, for all the years they gave all their love to us.

          There often are mixed signals, so communicate with him closely, regularly, look deep into his eyes -- I believe he will tell you when it's time. He's hanging on now because he loves you so much and doesn't want to leave you. But the time will come when he has to let go. But I know we will see our little ones again, this is not the end.

          take care -- Michelle & Tigger Too in Toronto

          ----- Original Message -----
          From: etakolam
          To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 5:44 PM
          Subject: [FH] when is it the end?

          It's the inevitable difficult question: when will I know it's time to let him go?

          I know he is very sick. The vet and I decided to forego anymore invasive procedures about a month ago after x-raying his lungs and seeing the fluid build up. He is eating less and less, but he is eating. Yet when I spend time with him, he purrs (as always), connects with me as always and sleeps most of the day away. I thought that by now he'd be hiding in the closet; he doesn't. It's so confusing to me. I know finding the exact moment to take him for the final vet trip doesn't exist and there is a time frame for it instead. But I am so confused because I feel like there are mixed signals. Any advice on this difficult topic would really help me at this point.

          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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        • Judi Levens
          The timing of this must have been just for us too...it s a question which is heavily on my mind right now. I cannot bear the thought of losing our boy, but he
          Message 4 of 9 , Feb 9, 2011
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            The timing of this must have been just for us too...it's a question which is heavily on my mind right now. I cannot bear the thought of losing our boy, but he doesn't seem to be getting better. I think we will put a timeframe on it and make a decision that way. He's eating very little, we are assist-feeding him also. He's lethargic most of the day, sleeping lots. He's stopped coming to bed with us a couple of months ago, but he sleeps right in close visual contact and close to us. In the mornings he seems to feel a little better...he's wanted to go "downstairs" to the Bed & Breakfast the last couple of days where he likes to explore. Right now, he's just calmly sitting there, and I am carrying him up and down the stairs, but I'm encouraged that he's interested...he went twice today...a loud meow and insistently sitting by the door till we take him. We are still trying to get him nausea meds and maybe that will make a difference. We started him on Pepcid AC yesterday and I see a little improvement, but only slight. He doesn't seem to be in pain, but he does seem to be tired...so much syringing of meds and food into him (and all over him) and he's never liked to take meds. Thank you for all of your thoughtful advice on this blog about knowing when the time is right...it's greatly appreciated...hugs from both of us...Judi and Max









            To: katemalo@...; feline-heart@yahoogroups.com; westgold@...
            From: catherama@...
            Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2011 15:32:48 -0800
            Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?






            It's the hardest thing we have to do when we love animals.. I just had to make the decision just 2 months ago with my Winston. My experience was similar to Michelle's. Winston stopped eating and stopped interacting with me. He slept with me every night -- even when he came home from the hospital and was not supposed to sleep on my bed, he insisted on it. He was very interactive and... I knew it was bad when not only did he not eat hardly anything for 2 days, but he woudl not stay on my bed and remained huddled up in the corner under the kitchen table.

            Winston ended up having what appeared to be a tumor behind his eye which was unrelated to his HCM. I agree with what they said about treating the fluid. You don't want him to go that way - drowning in fluids within his chest. I woudl pay close attention to his eating and daily behavior. Sometimes you can kick start the eating. Winston's eating was kick started when he first came home from the hospital and lived for a year and a half after that.

            It depends on so many things... but.. I know the look in Winston's eyes at the end... he was sooo not himself and it was heartbreaking to see. As hard as it was/is for me, I am so glad that he did not suffer for very long. I think he probaby was in pain that last day or two but he was himself before that and enjoying his life. There is a book my mother read called something like "Live Long, Die Fast"...Winston enjoyed his life pretty much until the last 48-72 hours. Having him go down hilll so fast was awful for me, but I know it was better for him.

            It's funny I"m getting this email today. I unsubbed to the list yesterday but I haven't been unsubbed yet. It's too painful to read most of the time.. I don't have a cat anymore but.. maybe it was meant to be that I read your email today.

            I'm sending lots of love for you and your loved one,
            Cathy

            At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

            --- On Wed, 2/9/11, Westgold <westgold@...> wrote:

            From: Westgold <westgold@...>
            Subject: Re: [FH] when is it the end?
            To: "etakolam" <katemalo@...>, "feline-heart" <feline-heart@yahoogroups.com>
            Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 6:08 PM



            Oh, we all feel for you. This has happened to all of us already, or could happen for us any day now.

            If his main problem seems to be fluid build-up, that can usually be relieved quite easily, don't stop treating that. If you don't remove the fluid he will drown, and that is terrifying for them. If it's a general decline in all areas, then it comes down to a matter of quality of life. If he eats and purrs and interacts with you, then he still has a life. You can get meds to stimulate his appetite, they work great. You can also just feed him wet food off your finger every hour, that will help keep his strength up.

            Once he starts hiding and not coming to you at all, that's when he knows the end is near. Look deep into his eyes, and he will tell you. My Pooh didn't sleep with me that one night, and even when I went and got him and brought him to bed, he left right away. The next morning he looked like hell. I looked into his eyes and he said so clearly, please let me go. So we went to the vet's immediately. (He had a brain tumor, not heart disease.) As hard as it is for us, it's the final act of love that we can give them, for all the years they gave all their love to us.

            There often are mixed signals, so communicate with him closely, regularly, look deep into his eyes -- I believe he will tell you when it's time. He's hanging on now because he loves you so much and doesn't want to leave you. But the time will come when he has to let go. But I know we will see our little ones again, this is not the end.

            take care -- Michelle & Tigger Too in Toronto

            ----- Original Message -----
            From: etakolam
            To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
            Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 5:44 PM
            Subject: [FH] when is it the end?

            It's the inevitable difficult question: when will I know it's time to let him go?

            I know he is very sick. The vet and I decided to forego anymore invasive procedures about a month ago after x-raying his lungs and seeing the fluid build up. He is eating less and less, but he is eating. Yet when I spend time with him, he purrs (as always), connects with me as always and sleeps most of the day away. I thought that by now he'd be hiding in the closet; he doesn't. It's so confusing to me. I know finding the exact moment to take him for the final vet trip doesn't exist and there is a time frame for it instead. But I am so confused because I feel like there are mixed signals. Any advice on this difficult topic would really help me at this point.

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          • elfinmyst@aol.com
            Hi This is a difficult call. I feel it is when the quality of life is unpleasant or if there is pain or fear which can t be resolved. If a cat can eat, drink,
            Message 5 of 9 , Feb 10, 2011
            • 0 Attachment
              Hi

              This is a difficult call. I feel it is when the quality of life is
              unpleasant or if there is pain or fear which can't be resolved. If a cat can eat,
              drink, visit the litter tray, purr and sit in the sunshine and the fluid on
              the lungs is under control I would say it is not time. Every case is
              different, it's hard for us to make that decision but if a pet is suffering and
              there is no cure it is time for the last act of kindness.

              That is my opinion only. CUddle him and make a fuss. Have you tried
              different diuretics? Also diuretics can affect potassium levels which can cause
              problems. All this I would take into consideration.

              Hugs

              Lyn

              _www.myfurkids.co.uk_ (http://www.myfurkids.co.uk/)


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