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Re: [FH] Helmet - How to Deal with Guilty Feelings?

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  • cathy coleman
    Darlene,   I am so sorry to hear about Helmet s passing. My cat Winston (not the Winston mentioned in the post today) also has HCM and I m so afraid of losing
    Message 1 of 4 , Sep 29, 2009
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      Darlene,
        I am so sorry to hear about Helmet's passing. My cat Winston (not the Winston mentioned in the post today) also has HCM and I'm so afraid of losing him that way -- or really in any way, but.... we can't really choose how they go. We can only hope that they know how much we loved them and how much they meant to us. I believe that Helmet did. You loved him; you spent a lot of quality time together with him. You can't judge your whole relationship by the one hour you didnt have with him but by the many many hours you did have with him. I believe they do know that we've done our best.
       
       It's the hardest thing in the world to lose the ones we love (cats and people). I know what that's like and I know in this case, the guilt you feel is making it much harder to heal. I'm sending you healing energy and hope if it useful you'll continue to talk to us on the list as well as take advantage of the pet loss resources someone wrote about. I've found comfort there in the past and am a firm believer in talking things out with people who care.
          Take care of yourself.,
        Cathy & Mr Winston


      At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

      --- On Mon, 9/28/09, Westgold <westgold@...> wrote:


      From: Westgold <westgold@...>
      Subject: Re: [FH] Helmet - How to Deal with Guilty Feelings?
      To: "darlenehandley" <dehandley@...>, "feline-heart" <feline-heart@yahoogroups.com>
      Date: Monday, September 28, 2009, 1:36 PM


       



      hello again. This is a terrible memory for you to have. But if it's any consolation, I did witness a precious kitty suddenly die of HCM, and it was INSTANT. There is NO WAY you could have saved him, no way you could have gotten him even in the carrier. He was gone just poof. After my kitty screamed, I picked her up and tried doing cpr and breathing through her mouth, and I even held her upside down to drain fluids, because she was in a puddle of fluids. But nothing worked, because she was already gone. I didn't even know she had HCM, she had no murmur, I only found out at the necropsy. But I was glad that she went quickly, I can only hope that I do too when my time comes. Darlene, there is NOTHING you could have done, please do not feel guilty. Everytime we lose a kitty we always second-guess ourselves, but in Helmut's case, there is absolutely nothing you could have done, even if you'd been there. And actually witnessing his death would have been even
      more traumatic for you -- perhaps it was a blessing that he moved up to heaven when you weren't there. Try to think of it that way. He wouldn't have wanted you to see that. Most cats who are dying do not want to be with us, they crawl off into a corner to hide. The night before I lost my soul-kitty Pooh he didn't sleep with me for the first time in years. Please call one of those grief counsellors from that site I sent in my last email -- it will help you to talk to someone. And we're all here for you too!

      take care -- Michelle, Susie Q & Tigger Too

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