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Re: My Dearest Helmet Passed - I'm to Blame?

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  • darlenehandley
    Hi all; still no information back from the autopsy. I hate even thinking about that, but what s done is done. I am having a very hard time with his loss. I
    Message 1 of 16 , Sep 28 8:51 AM
      Hi all; still no information back from the autopsy. I hate even thinking about that, but what's done is done. I am having a very hard time with his loss. I think I've stopped obsessing about what could have happened (for now) until I get the information back. That could open up a whole other can of worms though. I guess that's the downside of having an autopsy. I don't even know if I'm prepared to hear or read it when it comes.

      I'm still not able to eat much, I am anxious, and the pain of the void is just too much to take on sometimes. Anyone else feel this way when their beloved babies passed?

      --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, janie <sockster@...> wrote:
      >
      > Carol You are so right. We cant bring him back so now lets help her
      > heal. We all second guess when we lose our kitty
      > and even our real people. Vets do what they think best and you were at
      > a great place.Lets see what the report says I bet it
      > was something sudden that could not be stopped. My Sockster was fine
      > one minute and gone in an hour. So its not
      > up to us. This the same in people. It happens. I really think
      > something else happened. I still blame myself for one of our cats who
      > died in 1999 and its is hard to get over but you did nothing wrong and
      > I did not either its just hard as they cant talk to help you.
      > Take care and write often and this will help ease the pain. Janie
      >
    • Westgold
      Darlene, please accept our sincere apologies. We were all so upset about what happened to dear Helmut that I don t think we properly helped you. We have all
      Message 2 of 16 , Sep 28 10:18 AM
        Darlene, please accept our sincere apologies. We were all so upset about what happened to dear Helmut that I don't think we properly helped you. We have all lost a kitty or several, and we all know and understand what you are going through. It is the hardest thing. Unfortunately, our kitties are very fragile and we never get to keep them as long as we want to. All we can do is love them and take care of them, and God decides when to call them home. We should be thankful everyday for our kitties. Especially on this list, we all know that we could lose our precious little heart kitties at any time. All we can do is love them as much as we can. In return, they give us all their love -- and we miss that terribly when they are gone. It takes a while, but eventually the sad memories are replaced by more happy memories of our little friends.

        Here are a couple links that will really help you -- and they each include links to other places, including pet grief counsellors by State...

        http://www.petloss.com
        http://www.pet-loss.net
        http://www.healfrompetloss.com -- this last one has a lovely CD that will help you work through your grief. When I listened, I cried all the way through it, but I did feel better afterwards.

        We are all here for you Darlene. Nobody understands more what you are going through than those of us on this list. We are glad to help you through this --

        sincerely, Michelle, Susie Q & Tigger Too in Toronto

        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Lisa Clarizia
        Darlene -- Oh, yes. When Baby Boy passed, I was a mess, even though I knew it was coming. What helped was the unexpected adoption about three days later of a
        Message 3 of 16 , Sep 28 10:31 AM
          Darlene --

          Oh, yes.

          When Baby Boy passed, I was a mess, even though I knew it was coming. What
          helped was the unexpected adoption about three days later of a stray kitten,
          in addition to my other two cats, but that's not an option for everyone.

          Someone you love just died, what you're describing are typical symptoms of
          grief. It just takes time. But you will feel better and some day you will
          be able to remember Helmet with nothing but happiness.

          The hardest thing to accept with heart kitties is that in the end, there's
          nothing we can do. With very few exceptions, it's a progressive, terminal
          disease. Some of us are lucky enough to be able to treat the symptoms for a
          while, and manage it, but in the end, it's terminal. And this is just out
          of our control.

          You did everything you could for him, and if you could have cured him, you
          would ... but right now, this isn't possible -- not for Helmet, not for my
          Baby Boy, not for my Lilly, and not for just about every heart kitty out
          there right now. It sucks, and it's unfair, but there it is. What matters
          isn't a cure, but supporting our babies in the ways we can, while they're
          here. This is what you did for Helmet.

          *Hugs*

          Lisa

          On Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 9:51 AM, darlenehandley <dehandley@...> wrote:

          >
          >
          > Hi all; still no information back from the autopsy. I hate even thinking
          > about that, but what's done is done. I am having a very hard time with his
          > loss. I think I've stopped obsessing about what could have happened (for
          > now) until I get the information back. That could open up a whole other can
          > of worms though. I guess that's the downside of having an autopsy. I don't
          > even know if I'm prepared to hear or read it when it comes.
          >
          > I'm still not able to eat much, I am anxious, and the pain of the void is
          > just too much to take on sometimes. Anyone else feel this way when their
          > beloved babies passed?
          >


          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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