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Feeling down

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  • Sandler, Zellene E.
    I had a bad night last night. Widgie seems so weak and tired. I had to give an extra 1/2 Lasix because her cough sounded wetter last night. She doesn t seem to
    Message 1 of 19 , Aug 2 5:35 AM
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      I had a bad night last night. Widgie seems so weak and tired. I had to give
      an extra 1/2 Lasix because her cough sounded wetter last night. She doesn't
      seem to want much affection...so unlike her former self. It just hurts me to
      see her like this. But her heart rate was okay and even her resp rate was
      okay.

      This morning she was on the bed. I cuddled her a little and she purred a
      little and licked my hand. She ate okay and then went into her bureau drawer
      to sleep for the day. She's started to have a little trouble jumping up to
      the chair that is next to the dresser. She seems very weak. I just look into
      her eyes and she is saying to me she's tired, very tired.

      I just don't know what to do. My internal med vet is gone this week. Could
      it be potassium is down? It was normal on her bloodwork a couple of weeks
      ago. For those of you using Lasix, does your vet give potassium? I am afraid
      to switch to the dandelion.

      SO many of you say your cats have energy....why is Widgie like this? She is
      on a really low dose of heart meds so I don't think that's the cause. I
      really need some support today.

      z
    • diane
      Hi Z, Could it be the heat? Our two long-hairs (one with a heart condition, one without) seem to spend more time sprawled out looking half dead in this
      Message 2 of 19 , Aug 2 12:21 PM
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        Hi Z,

        Could it be the heat? Our two long-hairs (one with a heart condition, one
        without) seem to spend more time sprawled out looking half dead in this
        weather. I poke them a lot (they don't like it but it makes me feel better).

        Does she have any other conditions that could be affecting her energy level?


        Diane
      • Sandler, Zellene E.
        Well, yesterday wasn t that hot and today she s in air conditioned comfort in the bedroom, so I don t think it is that. I am worried about her potassium and
        Message 3 of 19 , Aug 2 12:23 PM
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          Well, yesterday wasn't that hot and today she's in air conditioned comfort
          in the bedroom, so I don't think it is that. I am worried about her
          potassium and electrolytes. I know low potassium can cause weakness and
          muscle pain, but I wouldn't just give her a supp since too much potassium
          can cause heart failure. Her last bloodtest in mid-July showed normal
          potassium. I am going to give her a high potency kitty vitamin tonight...I
          think it has potassium and also magnesium in it though not huge amounts. I
          made a vet appointment for Tuesday but I'll talk to him that morning. It
          could be the disease itself, the meds, or her screwed up electrolytes...or
          something different entirely.

          I guess the main concern is that she just doesn't come to me for affection.
          She was always after me...the cuddliest cat and very demanding of attention.
          Now she's a shadow of her former self.

          I'll be offline after 4 pm today. Just got to get a PC at home...

          z

          -----Original Message-----
          From: diane [mailto:diane@...]
          Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2001 3:21 PM
          To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: Re: [feline-heart] Feeling down


          Hi Z,

          Could it be the heat? Our two long-hairs (one with a heart condition, one
          without) seem to spend more time sprawled out looking half dead in this
          weather. I poke them a lot (they don't like it but it makes me feel better).

          Does she have any other conditions that could be affecting her energy level?


          Diane



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        • diane
          I just got this so you won t get it till tomorrow. Hope the night goes well for you. Could it be a mood? All ours have moods, even our ferals. Scooter (feral)
          Message 4 of 19 , Aug 2 1:50 PM
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            I just got this so you won't get it till tomorrow. Hope the night goes well
            for you.

            Could it be a mood? All ours have moods, even our ferals. Scooter (feral)
            is after me all the time now to pet him; in a month I'll bet he goes
            running (away) at the sound of my footsteps.

            Kali, who always wakes me up at 4am for petting spent about a week sleeping
            in the living room ignoring me. Cats can be odd. Just trying to throw out
            some ideas. :)


            Diane

            At 03:23 PM 8/2/2001 -0400, you wrote:
            >Well, yesterday wasn't that hot and today she's in air conditioned comfort
            >in the bedroom, so I don't think it is that. I am worried about her
            >potassium and electrolytes. I know low potassium can cause weakness and
            >muscle pain, but I wouldn't just give her a supp since too much potassium
            >can cause heart failure. Her last bloodtest in mid-July showed normal
            >potassium. I am going to give her a high potency kitty vitamin tonight...I
            >think it has potassium and also magnesium in it though not huge amounts. I
            >made a vet appointment for Tuesday but I'll talk to him that morning. It
            >could be the disease itself, the meds, or her screwed up electrolytes...or
            >something different entirely.
            >
            >I guess the main concern is that she just doesn't come to me for affection.
            >She was always after me...the cuddliest cat and very demanding of attention.
            >Now she's a shadow of her former self.
            >
            >I'll be offline after 4 pm today. Just got to get a PC at home...
            >
            >z
            >
            >-----Original Message-----
            >From: diane [mailto:diane@...]
            >Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2001 3:21 PM
            >To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
            >Subject: Re: [feline-heart] Feeling down
            >
            >
            >Hi Z,
            >
            >Could it be the heat? Our two long-hairs (one with a heart condition, one
            >without) seem to spend more time sprawled out looking half dead in this
            >weather. I poke them a lot (they don't like it but it makes me feel better).
            >
            >Does she have any other conditions that could be affecting her energy level?
            >
            >
            >Diane
          • VHess2000@cs.com
            z- How old is Widgie and how badly is her heart enlarged? Victoria
            Message 5 of 19 , Aug 2 3:47 PM
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              z- How old is Widgie and how badly is her heart enlarged?

              Victoria
            • Smitty
              Hi all. I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March 23 (which will be his second birthday). He was doing okay until this past
              Message 6 of 19 , Jan 19, 2011
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                Hi all.

                I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March 23 (which will be his second birthday).

                He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up. Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".

                Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?

                Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy. Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.

                I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him live, but I know I am really just watching him die.

                A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont cry".

                Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....

                Melissa
              • Westgold
                I can understand how you feel. I think we all feel this way sometimes. But we have to CHOOSE to take one day at a time, or one hour at a time, or even one
                Message 7 of 19 , Jan 19, 2011
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                  I can understand how you feel. I think we all feel this way sometimes. But we have to CHOOSE to take one day at a time, or one hour at a time, or even one minute at a time. We CHOOSE to see the happiness in every good minute. No good ever comes out of thinking about what "might happen".

                  We each need to sit down and have a talk with our special kitty. Tell him you love him and you'll always be there for him, and you'll always take care of him. But you have to decide ahead of time just how far you will go. His quality of life is ALL that matters.

                  Each of our kitties is sick, we know that. But we should carry on as if he isn't. Do everything you can to give him a good life. When the times comes that life isn't good for him anymore, then we have to give the final gift of love, and release him from his suffering.

                  How far you will go must be decided on ahead of time, before any emergency happens. I did not do this with my soul-kitty, I was not prepared for him having any kind of medical problems, it never even occurred to me. When he had all those seizures I couldn't bear to lose him so suddenly, I did everything to keep him alive. He only lived another 3 months, and he wasn't well and had to take all these pills he hated, etc -- I am now so sorry that I just didn't let him go when he was unconscious after the seizures. I will never let anything like that happen to a kitty of mine again. I know how far I will go, and I will think of HIM first, always, not myself.

                  Once you have made these decisions in your heart out of love, then just forget all the possible "might happens". Live each day as a special gift with your little boy, and just carry on as if he is not sick at all. Remember what my vet told me -- kitties are "here for a good time, not a long time. So have a good time, the sun don't shine everyday". I hope you know that song...

                  The tree is a great idea. When I first got Tigger one a couple years ago he was so weak he couldn't even get up to the little house on the top. But he kept at it, and built up his upper body strength, and now he just bops right up there. Being in better shape is obviously good for his heart! I also make him run and chase things a few minutes everyday --- he does need the exercise.

                  Just carry on !

                  take care -- Michelle & Tigger Too in Toronto
                  ----- Original Message -----
                  From: Smitty
                  To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                  Sent: Wednesday, January 19, 2011 2:17 PM
                  Subject: [FH] Feeling down



                  Hi all.

                  I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March 23 (which will be his second birthday).

                  He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up. Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".

                  Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?

                  Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy. Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.

                  I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him live, but I know I am really just watching him die.

                  A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont cry".

                  Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....

                  Melissa





                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                • Lisa Clarizia Blueyes
                  My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it s just the way he is. As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally
                  Message 8 of 19 , Jan 19, 2011
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                    My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it's just the
                    way he is.

                    As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally hit
                    acceptance. This cat I loved, my Baby Boy, had a terminal illness, and
                    there was no cure. Then it occurred to me that we never know how much time
                    we have with anyone we love. They get sick, they have accidents, they get
                    old. We're watching everyone we know die.

                    It's so cliched but all we have is today. And with Baby Boy, knowing it was
                    going to be sooner, rather than later, helped me focus on the todays we had,
                    and it also changed how I focus on my other cats. No one likes stepping in
                    cold cat puke or having them scootch a dirty bum across clean laundry or
                    suddenly peel out when they're sitting in your lap, but when faced with
                    those little details, I remember the day will come when I wish they were
                    here to annoy me.

                    It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                    finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                    enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.

                    *hugs*

                    Lisa

                    On Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM, Smitty <smittyhj82@...> wrote:

                    >
                    >
                    > Hi all.
                    >
                    > I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March
                    > 23 (which will be his second birthday).
                    >
                    > He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a
                    > wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up.
                    > Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle
                    > down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing
                    > was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".
                    >
                    > Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?
                    >
                    > Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy.
                    > Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he
                    > pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.
                    >
                    > I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe
                    > anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him
                    > live, but I know I am really just watching him die.
                    >
                    > A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He
                    > reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont
                    > cry".
                    >
                    > Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day
                    > living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....
                    >
                    > Melissa
                    >
                    >
                    >


                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                  • furbabymama
                    I too have my days of holding Ash and crying at the future, but much too early, loss of my precious boy. But as Lisa says, I try to comfort myself with
                    Message 9 of 19 , Jan 19, 2011
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                      I too have my days of holding Ash and crying at the future, but much too early, loss of my precious boy. But as Lisa says, I try to comfort myself with knowing he is happy and being spoiled rotten for whatever time he has. Ash came to us from a kitten mill (as an adult former stud), so I know he is getting better care and love with us.

                      We lost our furbaby girl, Obi, suddenly at age 6 of an embolism, so I have learned that they can go earlier than we want, even by surprise.

                      But there is something harder about it when you know. Except then you realize you should let them know you love them now rather than putting it off until tomorrow.

                      Michelle is right too: Decide how far you will go to keep him alive, but remember his quality of life in that decision. Then enjoy every moment. You may still need the occasional cry, but try not to let it overwhelm you. We're here for support.

                      ::HUGS!::
                      Shonna
                    • Melissa Legan
                      Thank you so much. I have never lost a pet in my adult life, so I know this will be very hard. I think part of it, if anyone can relate, is i have grown so
                      Message 10 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                        Thank you so much. I have never lost a pet in my adult life, so I know this will be very hard. I think part of it, if anyone can relate, is i have grown so close to him because he is so sick. Everyday I make sure I spend alittle time, just me and him. He recently decided he likes to snuggle under the covers at night in the bed. He doesnt stay long, but its so cute. He is such a sweet boy.....and so tolerant of everything. Sure, he has his days where he is upset or tests me, but i understand.
                         
                        Thank you all for you kind and helpful words.
                         
                        M

                        --- On Wed, 1/19/11, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:


                        From: Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...>
                        Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down
                        To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                        Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 9:38 PM


                         



                        My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it's just the
                        way he is.

                        As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally hit
                        acceptance. This cat I loved, my Baby Boy, had a terminal illness, and
                        there was no cure. Then it occurred to me that we never know how much time
                        we have with anyone we love. They get sick, they have accidents, they get
                        old. We're watching everyone we know die.

                        It's so cliched but all we have is today. And with Baby Boy, knowing it was
                        going to be sooner, rather than later, helped me focus on the todays we had,
                        and it also changed how I focus on my other cats. No one likes stepping in
                        cold cat puke or having them scootch a dirty bum across clean laundry or
                        suddenly peel out when they're sitting in your lap, but when faced with
                        those little details, I remember the day will come when I wish they were
                        here to annoy me.

                        It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                        finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                        enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.

                        *hugs*

                        Lisa

                        On Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM, Smitty <smittyhj82@...> wrote:

                        >
                        >
                        > Hi all.
                        >
                        > I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March
                        > 23 (which will be his second birthday).
                        >
                        > He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a
                        > wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up.
                        > Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle
                        > down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing
                        > was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".
                        >
                        > Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?
                        >
                        > Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy.
                        > Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he
                        > pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.
                        >
                        > I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe
                        > anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him
                        > live, but I know I am really just watching him die.
                        >
                        > A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He
                        > reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont
                        > cry".
                        >
                        > Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day
                        > living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....
                        >
                        > Melissa
                        >
                        >
                        >

                        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]











                        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                      • Judi Levens
                        Yes, this is such an interesting and emotional topic. I feel very much the same as both of you. Max is failing some, and I m having to confront that his
                        Message 11 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                          Yes, this is such an interesting and emotional topic. I feel very much the same as both of you. Max is failing some, and I'm having to confront that his limited time may becoming more limited. He's not eating much, starting to show signs of kidney problems and breathing rougher. He's had HCM for 3 yrs and 4 months, so we've been very lucky, but just the thought of his passing makes me cry...I haven't gotten more used to that idea in the time we've had, instead we've gotten closer. And I am so afraid that I'll have to make the decision for him...of course I would if the time were right, but I so don't want to have to. It's good (in a strange way...I wouldn't wish this on anyone) to have others out there feeling the same things...hugs to all of you, hope something special happens today with your babies...Judi and Max









                          To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com; lclarizia@...
                          From: smittyhj82@...
                          Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 06:01:59 -0800
                          Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down






                          Thank you so much. I have never lost a pet in my adult life, so I know this will be very hard. I think part of it, if anyone can relate, is i have grown so close to him because he is so sick. Everyday I make sure I spend alittle time, just me and him. He recently decided he likes to snuggle under the covers at night in the bed. He doesnt stay long, but its so cute. He is such a sweet boy.....and so tolerant of everything. Sure, he has his days where he is upset or tests me, but i understand.

                          Thank you all for you kind and helpful words.

                          M

                          --- On Wed, 1/19/11, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:

                          From: Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...>
                          Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down
                          To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                          Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 9:38 PM



                          My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it's just the
                          way he is.

                          As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally hit
                          acceptance. This cat I loved, my Baby Boy, had a terminal illness, and
                          there was no cure. Then it occurred to me that we never know how much time
                          we have with anyone we love. They get sick, they have accidents, they get
                          old. We're watching everyone we know die.

                          It's so cliched but all we have is today. And with Baby Boy, knowing it was
                          going to be sooner, rather than later, helped me focus on the todays we had,
                          and it also changed how I focus on my other cats. No one likes stepping in
                          cold cat puke or having them scootch a dirty bum across clean laundry or
                          suddenly peel out when they're sitting in your lap, but when faced with
                          those little details, I remember the day will come when I wish they were
                          here to annoy me.

                          It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                          finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                          enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.

                          *hugs*

                          Lisa

                          On Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM, Smitty <smittyhj82@...> wrote:

                          >
                          >
                          > Hi all.
                          >
                          > I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March
                          > 23 (which will be his second birthday).
                          >
                          > He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a
                          > wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up.
                          > Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle
                          > down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing
                          > was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".
                          >
                          > Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?
                          >
                          > Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy.
                          > Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he
                          > pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.
                          >
                          > I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe
                          > anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him
                          > live, but I know I am really just watching him die.
                          >
                          > A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He
                          > reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont
                          > cry".
                          >
                          > Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day
                          > living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....
                          >
                          > Melissa
                          >
                          >
                          >

                          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

                          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





                          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                        • Melissa Legan
                          I really do appreciate everyones replies on this. I know we all feel the same way. I have made a plan for Winston. I have already decided that if he crashes, I
                          Message 12 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                            I really do appreciate everyones replies on this. I know we all feel the same way. I have made a plan for Winston. I have already decided that if he crashes, I will do nothing invasive, and just simply let him go. We have used almost every drug know to cardiologists on him, and if he crashes, there is just nothing that can hold him steady, you know? We are maxed out on the diuretics he gets now, so we have already hit the ceiling.
                             
                            The vet at OSU is excited to meet us, as Winstons case is extemely complicated, and HCM is not his only issue. We changed Winstons diet, and continue with Rutin, but they did tell me upfront that they still consider the outcome to be grave/poor. I accepted this. I want Winston to be the best Winston he can be......
                             
                            M

                            --- On Thu, 1/20/11, Judi Levens <casaobelisco@...> wrote:


                            From: Judi Levens <casaobelisco@...>
                            Subject: RE: [FH] Feeling down
                            To: smittyhj82@..., feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, lclarizia@...
                            Date: Thursday, January 20, 2011, 9:13 AM




                            Yes, this is such an interesting and emotional topic.  I feel very much the same as both of you.  Max is failing some, and I'm having to confront that his limited time may becoming more limited.  He's not eating much, starting to show signs of kidney problems and breathing rougher.  He's had HCM for 3 yrs and 4 months, so we've been very lucky, but just the thought of his passing makes me cry...I haven't gotten more used to that idea in the time we've had, instead we've gotten closer.  And I am so afraid that I'll have to make the decision for him...of course I would if the time were right, but I so don't want to have to.  It's good (in a strange way...I wouldn't wish this on anyone) to have others out there feeling the same things...hugs to all of you, hope something special happens today with your babies...Judi and Max






                             


                            To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com; lclarizia@...
                            From: smittyhj82@...
                            Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 06:01:59 -0800
                            Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down

                             


                            Thank you so much. I have never lost a pet in my adult life, so I know this will be very hard. I think part of it, if anyone can relate, is i have grown so close to him because he is so sick. Everyday I make sure I spend alittle time, just me and him. He recently decided he likes to snuggle under the covers at night in the bed. He doesnt stay long, but its so cute. He is such a sweet boy.....and so tolerant of everything. Sure, he has his days where he is upset or tests me, but i understand.
                             
                            Thank you all for you kind and helpful words.
                             
                            M

                            --- On Wed, 1/19/11, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:

                            From: Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...>
                            Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down
                            To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                            Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 9:38 PM

                             

                            My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it's just the
                            way he is.

                            As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally hit
                            acceptance. This cat I loved, my Baby Boy, had a terminal illness, and
                            there was no cure. Then it occurred to me that we never know how much time
                            we have with anyone we love. They get sick, they have accidents, they get
                            old. We're watching everyone we know die.

                            It's so cliched but all we have is today. And with Baby Boy, knowing it was
                            going to be sooner, rather than later, helped me focus on the todays we had,
                            and it also changed how I focus on my other cats. No one likes stepping in
                            cold cat puke or having them scootch a dirty bum across clean laundry or
                            suddenly peel out when they're sitting in your lap, but when faced with
                            those little details, I remember the day will come when I wish they were
                            here to annoy me.

                            It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                            finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                            enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.

                            *hugs*

                            Lisa

                            On Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM, Smitty <smittyhj82@...> wrote:

                            >
                            >
                            > Hi all.
                            >
                            > I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March
                            > 23 (which will be his second birthday).
                            >
                            > He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a
                            > wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up.
                            > Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle
                            > down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing
                            > was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".
                            >
                            > Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?
                            >
                            > Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy.
                            > Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he
                            > pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.
                            >
                            > I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe
                            > anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him
                            > live, but I know I am really just watching him die.
                            >
                            > A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He
                            > reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont
                            > cry".
                            >
                            > Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day
                            > living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....
                            >
                            > Melissa
                            >
                            >
                            >

                            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

                            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





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                            [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                          • oliversmom42
                            Lisa, What you wrote below is so true and stated so wonderfully. Thank you, Sue & Boo
                            Message 13 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                              Lisa,

                              What you wrote below is so true and stated so wonderfully.

                              Thank you,

                              Sue & Boo

                              --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:
                              >
                              > It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                              > finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                              > enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.
                            • Melissa Legan
                              It made me cry, which I do a lot these days!!!!   Thank you Lisa. ... From: oliversmom42 Subject: [FH] Re: Feeling down To:
                              Message 14 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                                It made me cry, which I do a lot these days!!!!
                                 
                                Thank you Lisa.

                                --- On Thu, 1/20/11, oliversmom42 <npumie@...> wrote:


                                From: oliversmom42 <npumie@...>
                                Subject: [FH] Re: Feeling down
                                To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                                Date: Thursday, January 20, 2011, 9:42 AM


                                 



                                Lisa,

                                What you wrote below is so true and stated so wonderfully.

                                Thank you,

                                Sue & Boo

                                --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:
                                >
                                > It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                                > finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                                > enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.











                                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                              • janie
                                On the cat tree. Maybe you need some steps or put it by a bed so he doesnt have to climb so much. Cats dont know they are sick they just keep trying to do
                                Message 15 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                                  On the cat tree. Maybe you need some steps or put it by a bed so he
                                  doesnt have to climb so much. Cats dont know they are sick they just
                                  keep trying to do things. No one told him hey Bud you cant jump that
                                  high you have heart trouble. I have an older cat and I have her tree
                                  up near the wall and the first step is by my bed. She has another
                                  perch she can sit on.
                                  I have lost about 11 cats now over the last 10 yrs and they are all
                                  different. Just try to relax and enjoy Winston. You know I feel the
                                  same about Boomer she 16 and i think is this the last Christmas then
                                  last year we lost jaguar who was 5yrs old instead of hers. Look at her
                                  as if it were a friend or a family memebr and just try to enjoy. Some
                                  of my HCM cats lived many years I have not been keeping up with the
                                  post but I did want to coment on the tree. You are making him happy. I
                                  had Sockster who would run and then drop like he was dead then take a
                                  nap and back at it. He lived to 12 and he died like I thought he would
                                  a sudden cardiac arrest as he enjoyed life so much he wasnt stopping.
                                  I have had others die in my arms very peaceful and then I had a few I
                                  made that awful decession I dont really believe in unless there is
                                  extreme suffering. This is something you dont make an appt for it just
                                  happens one day. We all are going to die Winston thinks you will be
                                  there forever and you could get in a car wreck. SO just take it a day
                                  at a time.
                                  I really just wanted to say what I did about the tree. Good luck at
                                  the school. Janie
                                • Westgold
                                  Fortunately, when a kitty passes from heart failure, it is quick. Someone posted on another list that her little boy just ran up his cat tree one day, and
                                  Message 16 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                                    Fortunately, when a kitty passes from heart failure, it is quick. Someone posted on another list that her little boy just ran up his cat tree one day, and fell off dead. The kitty that I lost to HCM in 1995 -- she had been having breathing problem the evening before, and wouldn't eat, and we planned to take her in at 8 AM the next morning. (We did not know she was sick, she didn't have a murmur.) About 3 AM she woke me up with a loud scream, and by the time I got into the living room she was almost gone. She was sitting in the sphynx position in a big puddle of fluid. I didn't know anything about heart disease then, but I saw fluid, so my first instinct was to hold her upside down to drain the fluid, like I did with little newborns who had trouble breathing. Then I tried breathing into her mouth and massaging her heart -- but she was already gone.

                                    If that time comes, and they go in that way -- there is no time to do anything. this is why we have to be prepared. There wouldn't have been time for me to throw some clothes on and call a cab to go to the ER, which is 15 minutes away after the cab came. If this happens to Tigger, I will just hold him and talk to him through it. There is nothing else that we can do if they suffer massive heart failure. Poof and they are gone. But that is a blessing that they do not suffer!

                                    take care -- Michelle & Tigger Too in Toronto
                                    ----- Original Message -----
                                    From: Melissa Legan
                                    To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com ; lclarizia@... ; Judi Levens
                                    Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2011 9:39 AM
                                    Subject: RE: [FH] Feeling down



                                    I really do appreciate everyones replies on this. I know we all feel the same way. I have made a plan for Winston. I have already decided that if he crashes, I will do nothing invasive, and just simply let him go. We have used almost every drug know to cardiologists on him, and if he crashes, there is just nothing that can hold him steady, you know? We are maxed out on the diuretics he gets now, so we have already hit the ceiling.

                                    The vet at OSU is excited to meet us, as Winstons case is extemely complicated, and HCM is not his only issue. We changed Winstons diet, and continue with Rutin, but they did tell me upfront that they still consider the outcome to be grave/poor. I accepted this. I want Winston to be the best Winston he can be......

                                    M

                                    --- On Thu, 1/20/11, Judi Levens <casaobelisco@...> wrote:

                                    From: Judi Levens <casaobelisco@...>
                                    Subject: RE: [FH] Feeling down
                                    To: smittyhj82@..., feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, lclarizia@...
                                    Date: Thursday, January 20, 2011, 9:13 AM

                                    Yes, this is such an interesting and emotional topic. I feel very much the same as both of you. Max is failing some, and I'm having to confront that his limited time may becoming more limited. He's not eating much, starting to show signs of kidney problems and breathing rougher. He's had HCM for 3 yrs and 4 months, so we've been very lucky, but just the thought of his passing makes me cry...I haven't gotten more used to that idea in the time we've had, instead we've gotten closer. And I am so afraid that I'll have to make the decision for him...of course I would if the time were right, but I so don't want to have to. It's good (in a strange way...I wouldn't wish this on anyone) to have others out there feeling the same things...hugs to all of you, hope something special happens today with your babies...Judi and Max



                                    To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com; lclarizia@...
                                    From: smittyhj82@...
                                    Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 06:01:59 -0800
                                    Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down



                                    Thank you so much. I have never lost a pet in my adult life, so I know this will be very hard. I think part of it, if anyone can relate, is i have grown so close to him because he is so sick. Everyday I make sure I spend alittle time, just me and him. He recently decided he likes to snuggle under the covers at night in the bed. He doesnt stay long, but its so cute. He is such a sweet boy.....and so tolerant of everything. Sure, he has his days where he is upset or tests me, but i understand.

                                    Thank you all for you kind and helpful words.

                                    M

                                    --- On Wed, 1/19/11, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:

                                    From: Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...>
                                    Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down
                                    To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                                    Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 9:38 PM



                                    My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it's just the
                                    way he is.

                                    As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally hit
                                    acceptance. This cat I loved, my Baby Boy, had a terminal illness, and
                                    there was no cure. Then it occurred to me that we never know how much time
                                    we have with anyone we love. They get sick, they have accidents, they get
                                    old. We're watching everyone we know die.

                                    It's so cliched but all we have is today. And with Baby Boy, knowing it was
                                    going to be sooner, rather than later, helped me focus on the todays we had,
                                    and it also changed how I focus on my other cats. No one likes stepping in
                                    cold cat puke or having them scootch a dirty bum across clean laundry or
                                    suddenly peel out when they're sitting in your lap, but when faced with
                                    those little details, I remember the day will come when I wish they were
                                    here to annoy me.

                                    It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                                    finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                                    enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.

                                    *hugs*

                                    Lisa

                                    On Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM, Smitty <smittyhj82@...> wrote:

                                    >
                                    >
                                    > Hi all.
                                    >
                                    > I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March
                                    > 23 (which will be his second birthday).
                                    >
                                    > He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a
                                    > wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up.
                                    > Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle
                                    > down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing
                                    > was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".
                                    >
                                    > Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?
                                    >
                                    > Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy.
                                    > Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he
                                    > pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.
                                    >
                                    > I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe
                                    > anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him
                                    > live, but I know I am really just watching him die.
                                    >
                                    > A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He
                                    > reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont
                                    > cry".
                                    >
                                    > Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day
                                    > living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....
                                    >
                                    > Melissa
                                    >
                                    >
                                    >

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                                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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                                    [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                                  • C.R.
                                    I wish that Snowball s was a poof and they re gone type of ending, but her s wasn t. She suffered for 20 minutes after she collasped from heart failure. It
                                    Message 17 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                                      I wish that Snowball's was a "poof and they're gone" type of ending, but her's wasn't. She suffered for 20 minutes after she collasped from heart failure. It was horrible and I had tears streaming down my face for the whole time while Steve and I held her and talked her to to ease her passing. She gasped for air, I gave her CPR...that happened 3 times in the 20 minutes...she'd come back a little, but her little heart just could't recover. It was the worst 20 minutes for all of us. I hated it and I hated that she didn't have a peaceful passing. We weren't prepared. She was fine one minute and the next in anguishing pain, for 20 minutes. It's not always quick. Even 20 minutes can seem like an eternity. I so had hoped that she would just go in her sleep. I prayed for that. It wasn't to be.

                                      Michelle is right...you have to be prepared, and we weren't. We were in denial that she was as bad as she was. We just hoped that she'd be okay for a while longer...didn't want to face it. Then as life often does, it crept up on us and took her.

                                      I'm still so sad. I know how you're all feeling, who are going through this. All I can say is just be in the moment as much as you can, or you'll miss the good stuff while you're worrying about the bad. I know that's hard to do, but you have to try. At least I think we did live in the moment with Snowball. I like to think we did.

                                      hugs to everyone,
                                      Carol and Angel Snowball *5/10/91 to 1/1/10*
                                      and the gang



                                      --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, "Westgold" <westgold@...> wrote:
                                      >
                                      > Fortunately, when a kitty passes from heart failure, it is quick.

                                      There is nothing else that we can do if they suffer massive heart failure. Poof and they are gone. But that is a blessing that they do not suffer!
                                      >
                                    • cathy coleman
                                             I ve had tears in my eyes as I ve read this conversation. It is so hard to watch someone you love (cat or person) go through pain.. and it s so
                                      Message 18 of 19 , Jan 20, 2011
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                                               I've had tears in my eyes as I've read this conversation. It is so hard to watch someone you love (cat or person) go through pain.. and it's so hard when we lose them. I lost my Winston a little over a month ago. I still miss him every day. I'm grateful that he did go quickly. I regret that his last night was in the hospital but it was probably the best thing.  I used to worry so much that he would suffer.
                                         
                                              I'm so sorry to read of your experience with Snowball. You did the very best you could. Melissa, I can so relate in terms of the anxiety about losing your Winston and about not always knowing the best thing to do. We all do the very best we can. I think they know that. I hope they do.
                                         
                                           Although I miss Mr Winston every day, I am so sooo grateful for the time we spent together in this last year and a half since his diagnosis. It's  a cliche but it does make the time spent together more precious.
                                         
                                        Am sending hugs. You're definitely not alone.
                                        Cathy
                                        At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

                                        --- On Thu, 1/20/11, C.R. <carolroar@...> wrote:


                                        From: C.R. <carolroar@...>
                                        Subject: [FH] Re: Feeling down
                                        To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                                        Date: Thursday, January 20, 2011, 4:40 PM


                                         



                                        I wish that Snowball's was a "poof and they're gone" type of ending, but her's wasn't. She suffered for 20 minutes after she collasped from heart failure. It was horrible and I had tears streaming down my face for the whole time while Steve and I held her and talked her to to ease her passing. She gasped for air, I gave her CPR...that happened 3 times in the 20 minutes...she'd come back a little, but her little heart just could't recover. It was the worst 20 minutes for all of us. I hated it and I hated that she didn't have a peaceful passing. We weren't prepared. She was fine one minute and the next in anguishing pain, for 20 minutes. It's not always quick. Even 20 minutes can seem like an eternity. I so had hoped that she would just go in her sleep. I prayed for that. It wasn't to be.

                                        Michelle is right...you have to be prepared, and we weren't. We were in denial that she was as bad as she was. We just hoped that she'd be okay for a while longer...didn't want to face it. Then as life often does, it crept up on us and took her.

                                        I'm still so sad. I know how you're all feeling, who are going through this. All I can say is just be in the moment as much as you can, or you'll miss the good stuff while you're worrying about the bad. I know that's hard to do, but you have to try. At least I think we did live in the moment with Snowball. I like to think we did.

                                        hugs to everyone,
                                        Carol and Angel Snowball *5/10/91 to 1/1/10*
                                        and the gang

                                        --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, "Westgold" <westgold@...> wrote:
                                        >
                                        > Fortunately, when a kitty passes from heart failure, it is quick.

                                        There is nothing else that we can do if they suffer massive heart failure. Poof and they are gone. But that is a blessing that they do not suffer!
                                        >











                                        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                                      • nicholeandmilo
                                        Hi Melissa, What you are feeling is a totally normal feeling when you re so attached to him. Moto was my first baby, and after losing my dog to heart failure
                                        Message 19 of 19 , Jan 22, 2011
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                                          Hi Melissa,
                                          What you are feeling is a totally normal feeling when you're so attached to him. Moto was my first baby, and after losing my dog to heart failure suddenly I opted to have an echo done on him and found his HCM. Moto is going on 9 this year, but as I've been told by the vets he is a very sick 9 year old; HCM is not his only problem. After his heart failure occurence last year I had also made a plan, if he crashes again I have decided I will help him cross the bridge too, however to be honest since he's 1 year our of failure I've changed my mind. I think its important to consider the situation before sticking to a plan. At least thats my opinion and I've decided I was having a really hard time knowing this "plan" was in place. Instead of focusing on his grave disease, I've realized how important it is to just focus on life at the moment. I spend every waking moment I can with him and will even reject offers to go out or go on vacation because I'd rather spend it with him, he is a child to me.

                                          With all that said, I know its very easy to get upset about our babies current health, but what I also have noticed is because I am so close to Moto because of all the care he requires, he is VERY intune with my feelings. I do not get upset or stressed in front of him because I know he feels it. I know its difficult but try and only have positive experiences with Winston, it will be more enjoyable for you and him.

                                          I know how hard all of this is, I've been dealing with the ticking time bomb inside Moto for 4 years, going on 5 this year. I am thankful for it but its been a tough lesson.

                                          Wishing you the best and thinking about you guys!
                                          Nichole

                                          --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, Melissa Legan <smittyhj82@...> wrote:
                                          >
                                          > I really do appreciate everyones replies on this. I know we all feel the same way. I have made a plan for Winston. I have already decided that if he crashes, I will do nothing invasive, and just simply let him go. We have used almost every drug know to cardiologists on him, and if he crashes, there is just nothing that can hold him steady, you know? We are maxed out on the diuretics he gets now, so we have already hit the ceiling.
                                          >  
                                          > The vet at OSU is excited to meet us, as Winstons case is extemely complicated, and HCM is not his only issue. We changed Winstons diet, and continue with Rutin, but they did tell me upfront that they still consider the outcome to be grave/poor. I accepted this. I want Winston to be the best Winston he can be......
                                          >  
                                          > M
                                          >
                                          > --- On Thu, 1/20/11, Judi Levens <casaobelisco@...> wrote:
                                          >
                                          >
                                          > From: Judi Levens <casaobelisco@...>
                                          > Subject: RE: [FH] Feeling down
                                          > To: smittyhj82@..., feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, lclarizia@...
                                          > Date: Thursday, January 20, 2011, 9:13 AM
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >
                                          > Yes, this is such an interesting and emotional topic.  I feel very much the same as both of you.  Max is failing some, and I'm having to confront that his limited time may becoming more limited.  He's not eating much, starting to show signs of kidney problems and breathing rougher.  He's had HCM for 3 yrs and 4 months, so we've been very lucky, but just the thought of his passing makes me cry...I haven't gotten more used to that idea in the time we've had, instead we've gotten closer.  And I am so afraid that I'll have to make the decision for him...of course I would if the time were right, but I so don't want to have to.  It's good (in a strange way...I wouldn't wish this on anyone) to have others out there feeling the same things...hugs to all of you, hope something special happens today with your babies...Judi and Max
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >
                                          >  
                                          >
                                          >
                                          > To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com; lclarizia@...
                                          > From: smittyhj82@...
                                          > Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 06:01:59 -0800
                                          > Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down
                                          >
                                          >  
                                          >
                                          >
                                          > Thank you so much. I have never lost a pet in my adult life, so I know this will be very hard. I think part of it, if anyone can relate, is i have grown so close to him because he is so sick. Everyday I make sure I spend alittle time, just me and him. He recently decided he likes to snuggle under the covers at night in the bed. He doesnt stay long, but its so cute. He is such a sweet boy.....and so tolerant of everything. Sure, he has his days where he is upset or tests me, but i understand.
                                          >  
                                          > Thank you all for you kind and helpful words.
                                          >  
                                          > M
                                          >
                                          > --- On Wed, 1/19/11, Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...> wrote:
                                          >
                                          > From: Lisa Clarizia Blueyes <lclarizia@...>
                                          > Subject: Re: [FH] Feeling down
                                          > To: feline-heart@yahoogroups.com
                                          > Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 9:38 PM
                                          >
                                          >  
                                          >
                                          > My Thundercat is a loud breather (no squeaking, though), and it's just the
                                          > way he is.
                                          >
                                          > As for the other ... after being angry/in denial/bargaining, I finally hit
                                          > acceptance. This cat I loved, my Baby Boy, had a terminal illness, and
                                          > there was no cure. Then it occurred to me that we never know how much time
                                          > we have with anyone we love. They get sick, they have accidents, they get
                                          > old. We're watching everyone we know die.
                                          >
                                          > It's so cliched but all we have is today. And with Baby Boy, knowing it was
                                          > going to be sooner, rather than later, helped me focus on the todays we had,
                                          > and it also changed how I focus on my other cats. No one likes stepping in
                                          > cold cat puke or having them scootch a dirty bum across clean laundry or
                                          > suddenly peel out when they're sitting in your lap, but when faced with
                                          > those little details, I remember the day will come when I wish they were
                                          > here to annoy me.
                                          >
                                          > It also helped to remember that sometimes the miracle isn't a cure, it's
                                          > finding yourself loved and cared for by a heart big enough, and willing
                                          > enough to pay the price for love, grief. Winston has that with you.
                                          >
                                          > *hugs*
                                          >
                                          > Lisa
                                          >
                                          > On Wed, Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM, Smitty <smittyhj82@...> wrote:
                                          >
                                          > >
                                          > >
                                          > > Hi all.
                                          > >
                                          > > I made an appointment for Winston to see Dr. Scansen at Ohio State on March
                                          > > 23 (which will be his second birthday).
                                          > >
                                          > > He was doing okay until this past Friday. My boyfriends parents got me a
                                          > > wonderful cat tree for Christmas, so I decided to finally get it set up.
                                          > > Well, Winston was SOOOOOO excited and overwhelmed, he just wouldnt settle
                                          > > down. All he wanted to do was jump and play and bounce around. His breathing
                                          > > was awful. He was also squeaking....I call it the "piggy noise".
                                          > >
                                          > > Has anyone else had a cat that is a noisy breather? That squeaks?
                                          > >
                                          > > Needless to say, he still hasnt recovered from this....still sounds crappy.
                                          > > Was acting alittle "detached" this morning when i left for work. Usually he
                                          > > pleads with me not to go....he just sat there this morning.
                                          > >
                                          > > I am starting to feel so hopeless. I have developed even more severe
                                          > > anxiety than I had before all this happened.....I want so badly to watch him
                                          > > live, but I know I am really just watching him die.
                                          > >
                                          > > A few nights ago, i layed crying in bed and he was currled up by me. He
                                          > > reached his little paws up to my face by my tears, as if to say "Mommy dont
                                          > > cry".
                                          > >
                                          > > Is there anything that any of you have done to cope with the day to day
                                          > > living with an animal like this? I think I am losing my mind.....
                                          > >
                                          > > Melissa
                                          > >
                                          > >
                                          > >
                                          >
                                          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                                          >
                                          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                                          >
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