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FW: [alltonks] FW: Laws of Cats

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  • Cannon,Kimberly
    ... From: Kimberly Cannon [mailto:kimmitonk@gmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, November 01, 2006 4:22 PM To: kimberly.cannon@dads.state.tx.us Subject: Fwd: [alltonks]
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 1, 2006
      -----Original Message-----
      From: Kimberly Cannon [mailto:kimmitonk@...]
      Sent: Wednesday, November 01, 2006 4:22 PM
      To: kimberly.cannon@...
      Subject: Fwd: [alltonks] FW: Laws of Cats

      ---------- Forwarded message ----------
      From: Joan Bernstein < tonks1@... <mailto:tonks1@...> >
      Date: Nov 1, 2006 10:53 AM
      Subject: [alltonks] FW: Laws of Cats
      To: Alltonks < alltonks@yahoogroups.com <mailto:alltonks@yahoogroups.com> >,
      tonks@yahoogroups.com <mailto:tonks@yahoogroups.com>


      From: Daar Subject: Fwd: Laws of Cats

      *Laws of Cats*

      *1 - Law of Cat Inertia
      A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some
      outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying

      2 - Law of Cat Motion
      A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason
      to change direction.

      3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
      All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
      proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

      4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
      Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat,
      in which case all heat flows to the cat.

      5 - Law of Cat Stretching
      A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap
      just taken.

      6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
      All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
      uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

      7 - Law of Cat Elongation
      A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top
      that has anything remotely interesting on it.

      8 - Law of Cat Acceleration
      A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready
      to stop.

      9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
      Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

      10 - Law of Rug Configuration
      No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

      11 - Law of Obedience Resistance
      A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to
      do something.

      12 - First Law of Energy Conservation
      Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
      therefore, use as little energy as possible.

      13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation
      Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

      14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
      If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and
      take out something good to eat.

      15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
      Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of

      16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
      A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot
      in any given room.

      17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
      All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the
      earliest possible nanosecond.

      18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment
      A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times

      the amount of human laughter.

      19 - Law of Milk Consumption
      A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

      20 - Law of Furniture Replacement
      A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost

      of the furniture.

      21 - Law of Cat Landing
      A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

      22 - Law of Fluid Displacement
      A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of
      milk consumed.

      23 - Law of Cat Disinterest
      A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of
      effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

      24 - Law of Pill Rejection
      Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape

      25 - Law of Cat Composition
      A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter. *

      Darlene Arden, CABC
      Journalist, Lecturer, Author
      "Unbelievably Good Deals and Great Adventures That You Absolutely Can't Get
      Unless You're a Dog,"
      "The Angell Memorial Animal Hospital Book of Wellness and Preventive Care
      for Dogs," "The Irrepressible Toy Dog," and
      "Small Dogs, Big Hearts"
      Specializing in behavior issues of dogs 20 lbs. and under
      www.darlenearden.com <http://www.darlenearden.com/>

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