non CRF : Hello my friends
- Dear friends,
I am so exhausted I can't write much to the groups or reply to you all individually at the moment. So I am sending one message to all the groups. After Sachie passed I just wanted to write and write, as a way of coping. But this second loss of Pebbles has overloaded me, coming so soon after Sachie. It is as though I have lost Sachie again as well as Pebbles. With Sachie it was such a shock, but I had a month to deal with the idea that Sachie had incurable cancer. With Pebbles, though I have known about her health troubles for four years, her illness came and took her in one week. When we started the thyroid medication at Christmas, I thought we were home free. Her kidneys were holding with the medication and her heart was being helped. When Pebbles got the very bad cystitis and nearly died, the doctors said with the amount of blood that Pebbles had, they were highly suspicious of a bladder cancer. It seemed too excessive for cystitis. Well she improved from that and I thought we were home free again. But the minute amounts of blood in the urine remained, unlike other episodes of cystitis in the past.
When we had the ultrasound the specialist wrote in the report and told me that there was something that showed up on the ultrasound in the bladder. A polyp or a tumour. Plus there was the suspicion of lymphoma in the liver and spleen. When Trevor our vet examined Pebbles before he released her from her pain, he said without a doubt that there was definitely a malignancy going on, cancer. The anemia from the cancer put a strain on her heart, and the cancer had spread. It was cancer which took Pebbles, not her thyroid, not her kidneys, not even her heart really, because the anemia had made her heart pump hard. Yes if her heart was in better shape she might have lasted a couple of days longer. Now that I know of the malignancy I am glad she didn't. But the look on Trevor's face when he examined her....there was widespread cancer in Pebbles' belly. I will speak to him next week and he can explain it to me better. I can't speak about it with him yet.
For four years I worried about Pebbles' kidneys. They held up and when she passed she still only had "mild" CRF unchanged for four years. Her heart was holding till the cancer. The specialist said it appeared that Pebbles' heart disease may not have been solely from her hyperthyroidism, as it was a different form of heart disease than that usually seen in hyperthyroidism.
Her last fifteen minutes on this earth haunts me. The symptoms of heart failure. Oh my girl.
Her last day alive I feel so bad for force feeding her. But how was I to know? The doctors wanted to try to treat for possible lymphoma. The essence of it all is that Pebbles was an extremely strong cat. The specialist said he had never written such a long ultrasound report, with all the things Pebbles had. Pebbles would have kept on keeping on I am sure, because she was doing well on her treatments. But cancer came and took her in one week when she had lived for many years with all her troubles. Pebbles' quality of life was good, except for the three episodes of illness since Christmas. And after each episode of illness she resumed her life as if nothing had happened.
God Bless you my girl. My amazing girl. When my sister and I laid Pebbles to rest in the ground yesterday, right next to our Sachie, we realised they are buried facing each other. Their graves are joined. I said to my sister I am so proud of us both. My sister and I lived together till she got married eight years ago. I said I am so proud that we and now I, had gotten Pebbles and Sachie through to the term of their natural life. We played our part and we did it well. God Bless my girls. I miss you so. I buried Pebbles with a can of one of her favourite fish foods. Pebbles loved her food. It was the secret of her success.
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