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Time to say goodbye

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  • lisaasr
    The time is almost here to bury Bean. I don t want to put him in the ground, its so hard to let go. I always used to get these urges if he wasn t near me to
    Message 1 of 4 , Jul 7, 2003
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      The time is almost here to bury Bean. I don't want to put him in the
      ground, its so hard to let go.
      I always used to get these urges if he wasn't near me to touch him
      and hold him - so I would go and find him and squeeze him and tell
      him I love him. What do I do now when I get that urge. My office is
      in my house and he was there everyday with me - it makes it even
      harder to face work when he was always there. He used to lie in an
      armchair the other side of my desk so I could love on him any time -
      I just had to look up from my desk and there he was.
      Now he's cold to the touch but at least I can still touch him for
      now. I don't want to let him go.

      I have never felt so sad, its like my heart has been ripped out.
    • pussiqatt
      Dear Lisa, I sent you a private email and it didn t go through, so I m sorry I didn t write earlier. I have to say that even today I was just imagining the
      Message 2 of 4 , Jul 7, 2003
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        Dear Lisa,

        I sent you a private email and it didn't go through, so I'm sorry I
        didn't write earlier. I have to say that even today I was just
        imagining the soft touch of my Boris' paw on my cheek, and imagining
        running my hands through his beautiful fur. I miss the touch so
        much, and it's been a month now. So I completely understand what
        you're saying. The hardest day for me, after the first few days of
        course, was the day we picked up Boris' ashes. It was horrible,
        because I thought "now his beautiful body is gone forever". The
        finality just breaks your heart, and there's nothing to be done about
        it.

        It has helped me to place photos in all the places that were his
        favorite spots. My whole house is covered in photos now (and I had a
        bunch before). I've been writing down all my memories, starting with
        his last week, then favorite things, places, games, toys, foods,
        clever things, and so on. I'm putting together a scrapbook with
        photos to go with each memory. This has been very healing for me and
        I suggest you do at least a journal of memories and your feelings.

        Grief is a process you must go through completely, and there's
        nothing you can do except cry and feel these feelings deeply. It's
        how we move on someday. You are normal and what you're feeling is
        what we all feel. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Bean was a
        special cat.

        Maureen

        --- In feline-heart@yahoogroups.com, "lisaasr" <lisaasr@h...> wrote:
        > The time is almost here to bury Bean. I don't want to put him in
        the
        > ground, its so hard to let go.
        > I always used to get these urges if he wasn't near me to touch him
        > and hold him - so I would go and find him and squeeze him and tell
        > him I love him.
      • goldbe50
        It s been almost 4 months since little Nessi became an angel and now it s time to say goodbye to this wonderful group. It has been so difficult adjusting to
        Message 3 of 4 , May 2, 2008
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          It's been almost 4 months since little Nessi became an angel and now
          it's time to say goodbye to this wonderful group. It has been so
          difficult adjusting to her going away but slowly, slowly, my two cats
          and I are getting there.

          Thank you for all the support and thank you all for those wonderful
          condolence emails I received. I have never been able to write a
          condolence email but for those who have lost their beloved kitties, my
          heart was always with you.

          Nessi had hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopthy with mitral valve
          regurgitation and developing left atrial enlargement. She was her
          bright, cheery, active self until one day before she died. The day
          before she spent at the veterinary school hospital because I awoke to
          find that she was having great difficulty breathing. It was a Saturday,
          and there is only an emergency staff there that day. She returned home
          that evening her old self and died at 6 AM the following morning. I sat
          next to her and watched her final moments in this world. It was very
          fast.

          For those who are interested, the autopsy report said cause of death
          was lesion myocarditis. Her heart showed chronic multifocal and sub
          endocardial myocarditis with a secondary myocardial hypertrophy.

          In English, she died of an inflammation of the heart muscle. Causes can
          be viral or bacterial infection or allergic reaction to something such
          as medication. Her heart couldn't beat and her lungs filled with fluid.
          The autopsy also showed emphysema.

          Or as my vet said, something went wrong. Her prognosis, despite further
          deterioration in her heart, had been excellent.

          I have finally sent the report to her cardiologist and am waiting for
          his input. I will post the input but will now go inactive in the group.

          She would have been just 4 years old March 29 and we only had 3
          wonderful years together. I have been owned by many cats over the years
          but Nessi's death has been the most difficult one for me. I will always
          love her but as I told my vet, I now have to give that piece of my
          heart I gave to her to my other cats. I am doing my best.

          Thank you all.

          Judith
        • jamander33
          Judith, Goodbye and thank you for being here a part of this wonderful group. Thank you for sharing Nessi s autopsy results with us. I am so sorry again for
          Message 4 of 4 , May 2, 2008
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            Judith, Goodbye and thank you for being here a part of this
            wonderful group. Thank you for sharing Nessi's autopsy results with
            us. I am so sorry again for what you went through and what you are
            still going through. Sometimes it is best to get away from it all
            (which includes reading these daily posts) to truly heal. Best to
            you always, Amanda

            > It's been almost 4 months since little Nessi became an angel and
            now
            > it's time to say goodbye to this wonderful group. It has been so
            > difficult adjusting to her going away but slowly, slowly, my two
            cats
            > and I are getting there.
            >
            > Thank you for all the support and thank you all for those
            wonderful
            > condolence emails I received. I have never been able to write a
            > condolence email but for those who have lost their beloved
            kitties, my
            > heart was always with you.
            >
            > Nessi had hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopthy with mitral valve
            > regurgitation and developing left atrial enlargement. She was her
            > bright, cheery, active self until one day before she died. The day
            > before she spent at the veterinary school hospital because I awoke
            to
            > find that she was having great difficulty breathing. It was a
            Saturday,
            > and there is only an emergency staff there that day. She returned
            home
            > that evening her old self and died at 6 AM the following morning.
            I sat
            > next to her and watched her final moments in this world. It was
            very
            > fast.
            >
            > For those who are interested, the autopsy report said cause of
            death
            > was lesion myocarditis. Her heart showed chronic multifocal and
            sub
            > endocardial myocarditis with a secondary myocardial hypertrophy.
            >
            > In English, she died of an inflammation of the heart muscle.
            Causes can
            > be viral or bacterial infection or allergic reaction to something
            such
            > as medication. Her heart couldn't beat and her lungs filled with
            fluid.
            > The autopsy also showed emphysema.
            >
            > Or as my vet said, something went wrong. Her prognosis, despite
            further
            > deterioration in her heart, had been excellent.
            >
            > I have finally sent the report to her cardiologist and am waiting
            for
            > his input. I will post the input but will now go inactive in the
            group.
            >
            > She would have been just 4 years old March 29 and we only had 3
            > wonderful years together. I have been owned by many cats over the
            years
            > but Nessi's death has been the most difficult one for me. I will
            always
            > love her but as I told my vet, I now have to give that piece of my
            > heart I gave to her to my other cats. I am doing my best.
            >
            > Thank you all.
            >
            > Judith
            >
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