48300Re: [FH] Jessie ?1993- 6/24/2013
- Jun 24, 2013The 'miracle' is that you and Jessie found each other, and stuck it out through thick and thin all these many years. Thank you so much for sharing this incredible story of Jessie with all of us. You gave your girl a beautiful death. I have great respect for your courage and consideration. She earned it, of course. Be well, and take good care. I have no doubt that, if Jessie can, she'll be looking out for you.
It is with a broken heart that I break the news that Jessie has passed away. She died of a septic embolic stroke due to her aortic valve endocarditis.
The antibiotics were started too late. She had a stroke Saturday and could not recover. I knew it was hopeless when they called last night. It had been more than 24 hours since the seizures ended but she continued to decline. Dave had given his blessing. But they had not allowed me visitation again until today.
On my way to the hospital today, I felt her with me the whole way. Just above my right shoulder although intangible.
I had the Neurologist see her before I got there to be absolutely sure. I held her on my lap and she was working very hard to breathe. I told her that it was okay to go and her breathing immediately slowed down. I told her I would miss her and asked her to greet me when I got to heaven. They sent in some sort of grief counselor but she was a twit and I send her away. My best friend was with me. The doctors talked to me a bit and I asked them to give me the syringe of euthanasia solution. I kissed her and I injected the solution into her IV catheter. Her breathing and heart stopped when I had only injected a small amount but I injected the whole thing anyway.
I had brought a box. First I put in our pillow that we slept for her bed.
I used my nightgown as a little pillow for her head. I arranged her into a comfortable position. Then I covered her with the sheet from my bed and then the fleece blanket she used to sit on when she traveled with me in the car. I put a white rose in there with her.
My friend drove us home and I held her on my lap. I felt her still above my right shoulder and still feel her there now. I put her box in her favorite spot on my bed and laid down next to her. Donnie and Amber sniffed her box and
then came to me for comfort.
Jessie will stay with me until I can feel her soul leave and go to heaven. Then her body will be laid to rest with her dear brother Noah. I couldn't send her for cremation. It just felt wrong somehow. I can't explain it.
Jessie was about 20 years old by best estimate. I adopted her from the
county shelter. I remember how regal she looked even in her cage. She was my barn cat and viciously murdered hundreds of mousies. One time my ex saw her in the house and tossed her outside while telling her she was a barn cat and needed to go outside and do her job and kill mice. She scratched at the door 5 minutes later with 2 mice in her mouth. She understood everything we said to her and I think she also understood what we didn't say but that was still in our hearts.
Jessie has been through hell with me and has been a tremendous comfort.
Over the years, she spent more and more time in the house. The barn was heated
so it wasn't that she needed to come in from the cold. She liked to sleep on
the pillow next to my head but more recently she liked to go under the covers.
Jessie traveled well in the car and would sit on the passenger seat. She went with me when I used to go to a remote area 232 miles away to do monthly coverage in an underserved area. She seemed at home in the hotel and wherever else she went.
All other cats loved her. She met all kinds of them over the years and got along with even the most antisocial ones. Even when she shrank down into a little old lady, cats 3 times her size deferred to her. Donnie would sometimes get a little rough with her and she would soundly smack him
with one of her tiny paws and he would just cringe. Like a tough old grandma smacking a huge high school football player upside the head.
She always let me love her but also reminded me of my job as her human.
She smacked me a good one if I didn't pet her enough. Or if I petted her too much. Or if she needed to be fed. Even if it was 3 am.
She was incredibly special. Our bond was indescribable. Nothing will ever be the same until we are together again in heaven.
Thank you for all your prayers for a miracle. God knows best and didn't grant that for us. But I love you all for trying.
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