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  • Tori Orr
    Aug 4, 2003
      Lisa, a few years ago my brother accidentally ran over his dog (who liked to
      chase cars). It was dark and the dog was joyously welcoming him home by
      chasing his truck. He never saw the dog run around the back of the truck in
      the dark until it was too late. He was never closer to another living thing
      and was in serious grief and guilt for a long time. He cried like his heart
      was destroyed for days and he is a grown man who had already been through
      many tribulations in his life. Even I could not reach him to help him cope
      and his suffering was very difficult to watch since I love him dearly. But
      it was only because of the understanding this brought to his soul that he
      was able to help me in my time of need when my own kitten had to be pts. I
      was so distraught but he was able to hold me and tell me he understood, he
      told me how for days it felt like he couldn't even breathe, like what he had
      done was the most horrible offense and he literally beat himself up for
      something he felt he could never forgive himself for. Listening to him talk
      for the first time about this pain helped ease my own sorrow and brought us
      even closer together. I believe his empathy was a gift sent out of pain to
      help us both pull through a very difficult time. I am so very sorry. There
      are not words enough to express the sadness I feel for you and what you're
      going through. Can I suggest you talking about it to trained grief
      counselors? There are some here: http://www.alln.org/alln/chatroom.shtml but
      there are also other organizations with phone lines so you could talk with a
      living person who can try to help you cope with this terrible burden. This
      list is wonderful but I think it might help to pour out your heart to a live
      person. It is a tragedy that comes as a shock and they might be better able
      to give you tools to deal with that kind of loss.

      Again, my love and heart goes out to you. The pain you must be in is one of
      the worst there is and I wish there was more I could do besides sending my

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